they will be punished? It can't be both, and I personally prefer the punishment part. That way if they're having the time of their lives running down a hospital corridor screaming their heads off, that to them might be worth missing out on ice-cream or a new toy.
Also am I correct in thinking they should not be bribed with dessert so that they will eat their dinner? The fact that they won't starve and are getting all of their nutrition should be reward in itself. Tell me what you think. All comments welcome. Even you people.... yeah, you know who you are. O.k. that was a joke.
2006-09-11 14:16:06 · 12 answers · asked by ticklefoot 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I would never use food as a punishment or a reward. It leads to food issues. Case in point...me! Make them do extra chores for punishment so that way it helps you too. Taking tv away or toys just punishes you more.
2006-09-11 14:19:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Never bribe. They should never EXPECT a reward for behaving. Just compliment them on good behavior when you notice it. Give them a hug/smile/ a "That's MY boy/girl!". And be sincere about it. You'd be surprised at how children thrive on compliments and just being noticed.
Every now and then a surprise treat is nice. They don't see it coming so it means even more to them. They'll feel appreciated.
Definitely discipline them for bad behavior especially if they are quite aware that what they are doing is wrong. They are at a testy age. They want to see how far they can go and what will happen when they do. If the punishment means nothing to them then no lesson is learned and they'll continue to do as they please.
Punishments like"No ice cream" will work for some children but not for all. It would not have worked for me because I knew that I'd get some another time. It meant nothing to me.
I needed a pop on the behind or time in the corner. I was a stubborn one ......I'm a good girl now....really I am :)
2006-09-11 21:39:33 · answer #2 · answered by ZEE 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
On dessert, it should not be a bribe, but just a simple rule, no one gets dessert who doesn't finish dinner. And in general, bribes are not a bad thing, they just shouldn't be the pattern. Then kids expect them. They should only be used occasionally, and not when you're at your wits end. That's the time for punishments. Rewards are something you want kids to understand, that sometimes they have to work a little harder for something good.
2006-09-11 21:26:35 · answer #3 · answered by Renee B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They need to learn to behave. How you do that is your option. I think both should be applied.
Dessert is what you have, not what they want. Dinner is dinner, and if it comes with dessert, they get dessert.
When you turn off the TV and throw it away, you will be amazed at how much easier it is to discipline the kids, because they don't get wrapped around the commercial axle so tightly.
Homeschool helps a lot with the attitude and talking back, and also mornings because they don't have to get up and ride the bus for an hour of wasted time.
2006-09-11 21:31:46 · answer #4 · answered by auntiegrav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always bribe my children with desert. I dont care about the 'they are getting all their nutrition' kids are kids and if they dont want to eat something and I can find a way to make them - then I will use it. We have races sometimes, or I feed them spoonful at a time to make it a game, or I say there is icecream or a chocolate for dessert.
My kids are 7,4,2. I also think that it can be both re the reward/punishment. It is a double edged sword and you use the side that will work the best at the appropriate time.
Goodluck
2006-09-11 21:20:09 · answer #5 · answered by zuj 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I've never liked bribing with food or instant punishment (like "spanking") because they ususally make the situation worse. I would demand a calming down/get-ahold-of-yourself period, then take away priveleges for the rest of the day. Like no, you can't watch TV, because of your behavior today. Maybe tomorrow you can watch TV. Or no, you can't go look around in the hospital gift shop, because you mis-behaved in the hallway. If you're talking about a 4 & 7 year old, they'll understand and remember next time!!!
2006-09-11 22:01:44 · answer #6 · answered by answerer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Using food as a reward tends to result in obesity or eating for comfort. They should not be rewarded at that age just for doing what you say. If you reward them constantly they will feel entitled to treats and rewards when really they should be obeying you because you're the mom and you said so.
2006-09-11 21:37:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't use food as a punnishment or reward, especially not as a reward. And just because they are acting good doesn't mean they should get a new toy. This might make them expect rewards for every good thing they do.
2006-09-12 06:34:38 · answer #8 · answered by danigrl1212 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give them a chart and if you want to do desserts or prizes or whatever make them earn them but praise the good things don't let them think their always being bad if you praise all the good things they do then they will feel better doing good rather than getting attention for misbehaving, I know how you feel I have a 7 year old, 2 year old and a 9 month old sometimes its easier just to give in when your at your breaking point .but if you give them a treat everytime they are good than what happens when they're good and you don't have anything to give them and they are expecting it. good luck!!!!
2006-09-11 21:28:59 · answer #9 · answered by freckleface 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u should reward them if it is good dont if its bad
on the subject of dinner tell them if they finish all thier food they get dessert if they dont then they dont get any dessert
2006-09-11 21:20:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋