my child's father & i broke up about a year ago and he has visitation rights (every other weekend) he recently

Question

confessed to me that he is gay and he has made my life a living hell now. he has called dfacs on me becasue my daughter fell on her own but they never opened a case because they thought it wasn't a reason to be called. he was placed on child support in july then in august his income was decreased by $800 now being only $400 a month, how can i request to the courts that he did this on purpose just so he wouldn't pay child support? mind you it started on august 15th but he didn't pay and he requested a decreased on august 28th and is there a way i can get supervised visitation rights because he lives with his boyfriend in a 1-bedroom apartment and my daughter says she sleeps with them and he tells me he wants custody of our daughter and i think he trying to build a case against me so he can have custody and try to play the 'gay rights" cards to persuade the courts to get her what can i do to get my life back on track

Answer 1

Not sure where you should go, but I wish you the best. Just let the courts know you are only concerned with the safety of your daughter and will be more than glad to let her spend the weekend when he can afford and moves to a two bedroom. Let them know that you and the child are uncomfortable with the current sleeping arrangements. Also if you feel he is making more money than he is saying suggest his income be evaluated.

Best Wishes

Answer 2

OMG!!! he has alot of problems and he needs to learn what the true meaning of parenting is. How could he be a good parent while he is in the bed with some other man and expecting your daughter to sleep there with him??? That could have long term, horrible physological affects on her. Please fight this as much as u possibly can, don't let him win!!! How long were you married? How old is your daughter?? The sad thing about child support is if the income drops, so does the money u r owed, not fair but true. I hope everything works out for you, and i hope you can keep your daughter away from that pervert!!! The sad thing is he will probably win in court if he tries to get a case against u, did she have any bruises? This whole thing sucks, I feel so bad for you. The courts can not deny him custody because he is gay, even tho that is not fair at all.

Answer 3

I think there is nothing wrong with your daughter visiting him and his boyfriend. absolutely nothing. I would say about all the other stuff, get a lawyer. A judge isn't gonna just give him custody because he's gay. You need to make sure that you don't speek ill of him to your daughter and you don't bring up that he's gay. If you focus on it or you try to bring it up as a reason he shouldn't be unsupervised with your daughter you will have some problems that could possably help him in court. If you think there's something weird about your daughter living in a 1 bedroom appartment with 2 people who are in a relationship ask her about where she sleeps when she is there. If your ex had a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend it would be the same situatuon.

Answer 4

If you are not married....I would move to a new state.
He has rights as a father IF he is "fatherly" in his responsibilities. If he can't provide, he should not make you suffer.
Get a good job, or go back to school, get help from your family with child care, and become a good parent to her. You are the mommy. Become independent of him. As long as you are "dependent" on him, he can do as he pleases. You are now being blackmailed thru his lack of support, which is endangering you and your daughter's existence....get out, make it on your own, be strong and self-sufficient. Your daughter deserves a strong mom. The fact that he is gay or not, with someone else or not, is irrelevant! Once he sees that he must be a MAN about this, start incorporating his visitations. Make him understand this is not a GAME !!! Not some sort of money control game, not some sort of guilt-trip or dependency threat....
If he doesn't see this...get on!

Answer 5

First of all, the fact that he is gay does not make it easier for him to get custody of your child. If anything it will make it harder. I am not saying that it is right or wrong, I am just stating the truth. Obviously he doesn't have his child's best interest in mind otherwise he wouldn't be doing this. A good judge would see right through his antics.Even if is income has been decreased he has to pay child support. It really upsets me that people have to fight to get the best care from a child's parent. It shouldn't even be questioned. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 6

At this point, his personal life shouldn't be a factor. However, as a mother of a 3 year old who spends the weekend with his father, I can understand how his personal life would make you uncomfortable. Please know, that a child will figure out the big picture all on her own, the hard part is, not explaining to her that not all people are gay, that her dad lives a different, yet acceptable lifestyle. Unless there is a question in your mind about your daughters safety, where she sleeps, and who is there is basically irrelevant in court. No court in the right mind will take a child from her mother to send her to her father, and father's boyfriend. I don't think the politically incorrect "gay card" has any relevance. The court doesn't care if his income is reduced, they'll be thankful he has a job. Men are pigs, and when you have a child with one, they become hateful. Just pride yourself in the morals that you have for your daughter and proceed with life. Half of the fun for your ex is seeing your skin crawl. I hope I can be of help! Good luck with your case! Also, maybe you should remind him that DCFS states that EVERY child have their OWN bed to sleep in, they don't have to sleep in it, but one must be available.

Answer 7

I know that I am going to get bashed for this comment but, I think that his lifestyle is a big issue. Gay or not, he has no right having his daughter sleeping in the bed with him and his lover. He is living a confussing lifestyle for a child. Not gay, then gay. What's next, a sex change?

As far as the child support goes, you need to speak to a lawyer about that, cause I don't know how you could prove that he changed jobs just to screw you out of child support.

He seems to be planning on playing nasty, so you need to speak to a lawyer about this situation.

Answer 8

First you need to hire the best lawyer you can afford to address the child support and custody issues that are only just beginning for you. Keep a journal and document every phone call, visitation etc. Keep your own nose squeaky clean. Do everything by the book - IE do exactly what your lawyer tells you to do. This too shall pass, but it could get ugly. Best of luck!

Answer 9

Oh hell yes sister ! you BETTER get supervised visitation, this is YOUR child, YOU make the decisions. He's not much of a father is he likes to lick on men. He's an abomination, you should get a judge to restrict visitation. that way, he can't have his gay lovers with him when he has his kid. Check the law in your state, but I have visitation arrangements because my ex uses drugs, or he did, anyway, he cannot have his dope headed friends there when my kids are there. They will tell me. Don't stop fighting for your restrictions girl. He's the one teaching your child, he's showing your child how to behave, so make sure you control that. Oh girl, I'll be praying for you, have mercy !

Answer 10

I would write a letter to the judge and explain the situation and tell him/her about the ex being gay and that your daughter sleeps in the bed with him and his boyfriend and tell him about the money and ask him for suggestions. Make sure you clear it up that you want him to have visitation rights but not over nights unless she has her own room. I think by asking for help it may work in your favor. GOOD LUCK!