How do I tell people that my son has Down's Syndrome?

Question

how do I put across to others that we don't need pity. Our son is beautiful and amazing and has been an education to us. The Down's isnt visually obvious but I dont want people to think I am trying to hide it. We are proud of the child that he is. But you dont want to tell everyone you meet in the supermarket your life history.

Answer 1

I wouldn't tell people who it didn't matter to, not because i am ashamed of him but because it has nothing to do with them. Close family and friends will accept your child with open arms, no matter what disabilities he has. Good luck, your son is lucky to have you for a Mum.

Answer 2

You don't have to tell anyone. My 4 year old son has DS, and like yourself, I could not be more proud of him. You do raise an issue though which is sometimes you do need to tell people, for many different reasons.
You don't need to tell people who don't need to know. You don't have to justify your son. He's who he is, like everyone else. And your pride and love for him is should not be affected by what other people think.
You do need to tell people who do need to know, teachers, doctors etc, but I've been pleasantly surprised by how positive most people are.
When you do tell people, do it in a positive way. You can say "oh, you did know that my son has Down's Syndrome?" you can then say "Cool, just wanted to check, sometimes people aren't sure and they don't know what to say, but it's no big deal. If you do have any questions or whatever feel free to ask" and then move on.

If people say 'sorry to hear that' or anything along those lines just say that there's nothing to be sorry about.

It's true, people might assume you're trying to hide something if you don't mention it outright, but on the other hand, you don't blurt out facts about your other kids when you meet people, and the fact your son has down's is secondary to who he is, whih is the most important thing about him.

Good luck!!

Answer 3

First of all congratulations on the birth of your beautiful son and that is what he is your beautiful son first and foremost. My first child was born with a very rare syndrome and the looks and stares I got when I took her out where dreadful and used to upset me and I also used to feel I had to justify her exsistance that was 24 years ago. I soon learnt that first and formost she was our daughter a human being and that come before anything or anyone else. I never explain her to anyone as she is a person in her own right and unless someone asks then I will explain.
You enjoy every single min with your son as they grow up so quick and you do not want to loose theses important times do not worry about other people and their views they are ignorant not only towards your son but your feelings.
You do not have to explain to anyone. My daughter is alive today because I treated the same as I do my other daughters. If she coughed on a lump of food I did not panic I just gave her more just like you would a normal child. until she learnt like everyone else to chew and swollow.
You are a good mom otherwise you would not have put up this question be yourself and you will be ok.

Answer 4

People will take their cues from you, so if you keep it as upbeat as possible, they will see that you have a beautiful child you are proud of. When we first told people about our son, the majority of responses were positive and a lot of people just wanted to know more. Sometimes they didn't have the most tactful way of putting it, but use every chance as an opportunity to educate!

When my son was very young, I used to blurt it out...I think that is part of getting used to it yourself, but as he is older, I generally don't say anything unless it fits into the conversation and then I usually just say it like it is...my son has Down syndrome. Usually in's in the context of him having DS and with that, he has low muscle tone, so that is why he isn't walking yet...but he knows dozens of signs and is a bright little boy. I always try to put a positive spin on it because for our family, it is a positive thing. If people start to show you pity, just kindly tell them that they needn't be sorry...you love him just as he is and he is doing great and you can't imagine life without him!

Sure, there will be the occasional idiot who makes a rude remark...but I think in general you will find people receptive to what you tell them and they will see that your child is just perfect the way he is!

Answer 5

I honestly cannot find a reason as to why you should.

He is a lovely boy in your eyes and something a lot more in mine. I am a male and for the last ten years of my working life I was as a professional photographer with a large investment in colour processing.
My studio in our local high street served very many people over the years but none were more satisfying to please than a child like yours.
It was a joy and a blessing to be given the opportunity to mix with these children and they motivated every fibre in my body to talk with them. Or perhaps just cuddle them if they could only respond in that way.
As they grow into teenagers and adults they are the same. A pleasure to be with but humble to be in their presence.
You and your partner have been truly blessed and the love he will give you both will be the most precious emotion of your life.
Anyone would be proud to have a child like yours.
Honest love with no thought of reward is yours.
My very best wishes to you both. And your baby?
He doesn't need any, he has his mum and dad.
Oh I forgot. Usually surround by angels.

Answer 6

You have been blessed with a 'special' child. I think that babies with special needs are only given to special people, parenting is hard enough with whats considered an 'able bodied child' and i for one don't think that i would be strong enough to face the trials of having a child with these needs. You, on the other hand will have the joys that your baby will bring and watching him grow and achieve things they might say he couldn't will be the biggest reward of your life. Be brave for your child and he will follow your lead, as for the rest of society who cares?

Answer 7

why would you be telling people in the supermarket your life history anyway its got nothing to do with anybody else , your proud of your child it dont matter if he has downs or not at the end of the day hes your blood . **** what anyboby has to say none of there buisness.

Answer 8

as long as your family and close friends know then you have nothing to worry about as they will except you and you're son openly as far as anybody else goes they don't need to know it's none of there business and when it comes to schooling then just let the teachers know don't beat about the bush just tell them i went to a mixed ability school myself and these places don't take any sh*t when it comes to bullying and to be honest if that sort of thing does happen then the people doing it are just cowards and don't deserve yours or your sons friendship

Answer 9

sod what people think and what they say u know what is there and that is a beautful little boy who means the world to u people today are so mean i know as i have a relasion who has adhd and is autistic and they way some people treat him makes me so mad they have no idea they are normally so bright and loving that they put us to shame so my advice sod the lot of them

Answer 10

Obviously, you would tell family, friends and the like but I dont think you should worry about people you just bump into. If it comes into the conversation, by all means tell them, but I dont think they will think you are ashamed if you dont mention it.