Why am I good with witty comebacks during IM sessions with women, but can't seem to do it face to face?

Question

I have had a number of online lady friends and find little difficulty coming up with snappy comebacks to some of the things they say. However, when it comes to talking to a woman in person it's whole different ballgame. Can anyone make any sense of this phenomonen coz I sure as hell can't.

Sorry, that should be "phenomenon".

Answer 1

Well, when you see them, you choke up, slip on a banana peel, and everything goes awry. I've never had too much trouble with it, but I do have plenty of trouble finding witty men for friends on here.

Answer 2

Man, this happens to like every other guy on the planet too. Only a gifted few can sling those comebacks ot face-to-face. You can take that from the spaz king.

I think this is because men get nervous around women, maybe a psychological reaction? Don't worry though, it's perfectly natural. It just takes a little practice, and if you fail a few times. So what? You gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet.

Answer 3

I'm exactly the same, so dont think you're alone, its the same thing that kicks in when you're having an argument and can only think of a brilliant insult when the other person has gone home! I think the brain goes into shock or something, but dont worry about it, just relax and maybe explain that you're shy (Even if you're not it still works as a disclaimer!) and the more you get to know the lady in question, the easier the wit will come, trust me on this!!

Answer 4

Because mentally writing what you want to say comes easier than verbally expressing yourself. I suppose it has something to do with intimidation to some extent. When we are face to face with another person, its harder to be expressive because of their reactions. Leaves little room for error. Writing what you want to say, is like bouncing words off a wall. This is a common phobia. I can relate to what you are going threw because I am the same way. My intimidation is a slight stuttering problem I have had all my life. My brain works faster than my mouth and it never comes out the way I want it to. But give me a pencil, pen or key board and I am "hell on wheels"! LOL

Answer 5

All right, here it is.

You can't talk to women in person because free-floating estrogen enters your system and your "penile brain" kicks in - the deep-seated, primitive node of your consciousness that exists to ask only one question, "Am I about to get laid?" The impulses of your penile brain completely override any attempt at more sophisticated behaviors, such as witty banter, holding a coffee cup, or walking upright. The penile brain is utterly focused, completely selfish, and incredibly powerful.

Why is this a problem? Because, my online friend, unfortunately for you and many like you, the female Homo Sapiens does not respond well to, say, being chased down and mounted after a good fight with a competing male. She requires more than the penile brain can supply - she requires courtship.

But take heart! While the effective rituals can vary wildly, the healthy female Homo Sapiens will always respond to one thing: honest, appreciative, non-aggressive ATTENTION.

When your penile brain is dominant, the true focus of attention is on yourself and your own needs, including your insecurities and fears. Redirect that nervous energy into actually noticing things about HER, listening to HER, and getting to know HER as a person, while keeping the ultimate goal in mind. Don't fight the penile brain; train it! Work with it! Let it keep you from becoming every woman's "guy friend," but don't let it turn you into a leering jackass.

It's a delicate balancing act, Grasshopper, but you can do it. Take care of personal hygiene and grooming, then forget about your looks. Read and educate yourself, then don't worry about showing off your erudition. Be kind to children and animals. Don't get drunk in public. Talk to the eyes, not the breasts. Smile genuinely. Choose your female interests carefully, and judge potential candidates gently (the way you'd like them to judge you). DON'T turn yourself into a eunuch in order to maintain relationships with women who don't want what you want.

Go forth, my friend. Walk in confidence down the path to bliss. And for God's sake, keep your fingernails clean.

Answer 6

Your shy. Online you have time to think, write, rewrite, what you want to say. In person. you have the pressure of staring into a persons eyes and having to think of what to say.
If you have any girls that are just friends, try talking to them more often in person and you will eventually become more comfortable with it.
It may seem hard at frist, but the best advice i have is to just go for it.

Answer 7

I think its those few extra seconds with IM that we have to actually think first. I spoke to my friend the other day on the phone after only using IM for 6 months and it was very strange!

Answer 8

well, most men aren't comfortable w/ speaking in front of the ooposite sex, so u can probably practice w/ a friend who's a girl, but if not, just keep tlking online & never tlk 2 them in person

Answer 9

I think it has to do with the idea that you have control of the conversation, and you can stop whenever also being unknown plays a big part in it

Answer 10

because online you have time to think about it and you can rewrite what you are going to say before hitting the send key. you can't do that in person.