I'm having trouble with my teenagers.?

Question

My daughter who is a senior in high school is driving to school this year. And my son who is a freshman is riding with her. Everyday when they come home, they are fighting. She says he walks too slow, so she guns it to get out of the parking stall to go get him and then she yells at him for taking too much time. He is usually just walking and talking to his girlfriend. If her boyfriend went to school with her she would do the same thing. I just can't stand to see them bickering everyday. I think they need to ride the bus and settle this whole thing. I'm looking for suggestions on how to handle this. Teenagers can be so difficult. Thanks.

Answer 1

I have two teenagers under the roof here too!! Wow ...they are a handful....my daughter is a senior in high school and her brother graduated last year. It (the fighting) hasn't stopped !!!!!
1) Tell her you are the boss
2) take those keys if you need too
3) sit them down to together and chat it out
3-A) Set the ground rules
4) He needs to respect her and be out on time
5) She needs to give him x amount of time to get his stuff and say good bye to friends and get to the car
6)if things are changing with his schedule he needs to let her know ahead of time to make her changes as needed
7) Tell them if the arguing continues no one rides in the car and take those keys
I am pondering my own issues as I think about this answer I am giving ..you have made me think and realize my own plan of action. ~~Good luck to you and if you ever need to chat..feel free email me and I would love to add you to my friends list.~~
~~ another mother of teens~~

Answer 2

First: If they are fighting "everyday" when they come home, it may be more than car issues. Your daughter may be jelous that her brother has a gf in school, while her bf is not.
Second: Teenages bicker anyways, thats what makes them teenagers. My mom used to tell us that if we were going to fight, then why not go outside with a couple of 2x4's and really fight! As aweful as that was, it made us wake up and see what we were doing!
Third: Threats don't work with kids, no matter what the age. Actions work. Simply take the keys and tell them that when they start acting like they care about each other and can make things work, then they can have the keys back. It will be up to them on how they get to school. Either walk or take the bus. This might open their eyes to what life is really about.
Fourth and finally: Remind them that you will not always be around to help them out and to figure out their problems. They will be all that is left of their family and family is what matters the most. Good Luck and Blessings!

Answer 3

Your daughter should not be gunning out of a parking lot she can cause an accident and that alone is grounds to take the car keys away from her. Just take the car away from your daughter because the bickering is not going to stop any time soon. Tell both of them that they need to take the bus to school for now on. Remember your the parent don't let your kids rule you they need discipline especially teenagers so set the ground rules. Tell them when they can learn to get along with one another and show you that they can is when you consider giving the car back to your daughter to drive to school.

Answer 4

I think in sometimes teenagers just bicker with eachother. It isnt eitrely bad for them to do it either..they have to learn how to handle situations like this .

You could perhaps, say something to prompt some problem solving ideas. They are going to have to learn to comprimise. Maybe they could come up with some time allowances. Say school gets out at 3:30..we could say brother has to be at the car at 3:50 and if not takes the bus home or something and if sister cant comprimise to wait a few minutes for him , then maybe they should be doomed to ride the bus together for a few months until they are willing to try again.

I think this is a great opportunity for them to learn to negotiate and comprimise with one another. Either they learn to do it now, or have a tough time with a co-worker or roomate down the line. It is an essential skill to learn to negotiate, rather than just complain about how things are unfair.

Also, you might want to put in a serious word about parking lot safety. It only takes a moment of impatience and neglect for someone to be injured.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Riding the bus is an excellent idea.Also finding chores that they can do together , dishes etc.teaches them to work together.Let them know why your doing this and you will continue until they learn to work together.We done this with two of our boys.All we had to say was "it looks like you guys want to do dishes" when they would start to argue , about 4 or 5 times doing the dishes was very effective. We still maintain this rule . I want to thank you for your question . It reminded me that I also thought it would be a good idea after they hand started getting along better to have them do some fun things together.I haven't done that ,my poor children.God does move in mysterious ways,Thanks for the reminder.

Answer 6

Well....I think it is a common brother -sister thing.....she is prob anoyed at the fact that she has to drive her little brother around with her....that is to school and back.....and taking it out on him. It depends on how long she is waiting for him....if it is only a few min....then that is prob what it is and she is overreacting. To stop them from fighting and make almost everyone happy.....maybe your son could take the bus. If you make her ride the bus ....you will never hear the end of it...trust me :-)

Answer 7

My old brother use to drive to school and I would ride with him. He and I were pretty good friends though...we would make sacrifices for eachother. There were days that I wanted to stay longer, so I would find another way home. He would sometimes have to stay after school for FHA and I would wait or walk home. Basically, the little brother needs to hurry up.....it sounds like he might just be doing it to irritate big sis and show off to his g/f. She could have a little more patience with him, and if he knows it doesn't bother her anymore, he'll probably stop doing it! Good Luck!!

Answer 8

Ok, they a-r-e kids. So, if she has the driving privileges, it's just as much of a privilege for him to ride with her. Tell her if he takes longer than 10 minutes or whatever, that she has permission...this one time to leave him there. She shouldn't have to wait on him regardless if she'd be lingering because of her boyfriend.
He's going to have to figure out how to get home on his own. (This sounds scary I know.)

You don't like waiting on them to get ready, so why punish her and make her wait on him? Or ride the bus b/c of him?

Answer 9

You are right, MAKE THEM RIDE THE BUS. Tough love is hard to give, but that is what makes you a good parent. You are teaching them to work together and get along. They will need to develop this to work with others in a work place or with their future spouse. They will learn to compromise and negotiate with eachother. You are doing the right thing. Isn't it crazy how you can want to strangle them one minute and hug them the next? TEENAGERS!!

Answer 10

maybe your son should ride the bus. or you should set ground rules that they both have to follow, such as she has to wait 10 or 15 minutes after school gets out for him, and if he is late she can leave. or you should encourage your son to go over to his gf's house, and get a ride from there later, so your daughter can leave. and teenage siblings always argue about just about anything, so it really shouldn't be that big a deal