Have you ever...?

Question

missed somebody so bad because you thought they would never be yours.
hated to wake up every morning because you know that it will be another day without that special someone
felt sick for no reason because you are feeling depressed
sat down and for no apparent reason poured out your feelings onto a piece of paper then ripped it up because you could never give it to that person
tried so hard to make it right but it always turns out wrong
wished you were somebody else or
wanted to have somebody else's life because of their bf/gf that you were or are hopelessly in love with,
wanted someone so badly you couldn't sleep all night and been depressed all the next day because you know why you can't keep your eyes open or
wanted to die because that would mean never living another day without him.

Answer 1

I am in so much pain, more pain than I have ever felt in my 45 years of life. I miss my wife, she is the love of my life, my best friend and I miss her so much. I was a fool for 12 years and neglected her and didn't realize the treasure that was mine, all mine until she was gone. She left me on 9/3/06, while I was at work and I had no clue. I hurt so bad that it is almost unbearable. The tears won't stop. Many times over the past few days I wish I was dead because the pain is so great.

When I first saw Melanie it was the summer of 1993 in Staten Island New York. I was looking for a job and she was the receptionist there. Upon seeing her lovely face I knew I wanted her but I assumed I had no chance of her being mine. I was a single black man of 32, with a son that was 12 and a daughter 2. She was a beautiful white woman of 21, living at home with her parents. I applied for the job there, along with maybe 8 others. To my surprise I got the job. At the time I was penniless, alone and didn't even have a car or a driver license. I was living in a rented room. We became friends and she would drive me home for I lived about 5 miles away from where we worked and it was on her way home. She would drop me off at my place and continue to her's. As time went on we became closer and closer. She was so nice and comforting. I quickly became attracted to her but she shyed away from me romanticly. It wasn't long before we kissed and soon things progressed further. I was captivated by her beauty and kindness. By the end of 1993, we began to spend most every evening together being romantic and really having fun and enjoying eachother. I called her my "Little Jeannie" after the song by Elton John, which we both loved very much.

I met a guy that I worked with, who along with another guy they were renting a 3 bedroom apartment and they were only using 2 of the bedrooms and soon asked me to share that apartment with them. I had my own room and that was great, I knew who they were and I had more privacy. Sometimes Melanie would stay until 1AM in the morning with me. Her father would sit in front of the house and blow the horn for her to come home. She had told her parents of me and they disapproved, they say because I was a lot older and with 2 children by 2 diffrent women and they thought I would do the same to their little girl and then leave her.

Love making was very passionate and intense, many times just at the spur of the moment and at any time of day or night. Our love was just perfect. Melanie made me feel like I had never felt in my life. She started to spend most of the night with me if not all night sometimes. The guys that I shared the apartment with were loud at times and we wanted more privacy. We decided to rent an apartment together. We found a lovely studio apartment with a small bedroom, too small to really be called a bedroom but larger than a closet. We liked the place, 3 stories up, in a large 3 family house, with a very large deck high up in the trees. The apartment had a small fireplace and 2 huge skylights overlooking the kitchen.

I did not have a driver's license because I had allowed it to expire and I had lost my birth certificate and I was born in Virginia. I sent away for a replacement and it was sent back to me with a slight error. My name is Grover Fennell and the certificate bore the last name "Ferrell". I called the records dept. in Vriginia and they told me that is what they have there. Melanie convinced me to catch an Amtrak train to Virginia, this was I think the winter of 95-96. I went to Virginia and they were right, the birth certificate looked like the exact same as the one I had always had except the "Ns" were "Rs". I accepted the slight name change, for both of my parents had passed away and I had no siblings. I took the train back with great anticipation of seeing my "Little Jeanie" whom I had missed so much in the past 36 hours. I arrived in NYC's Grand Central Station and took The Staten Island Ferry back to Staten Island. It was a cold snowy night about 1 in the morning and the streets were clear of cars and I arrived at the ferry terminal with such excitement that my Melanie was going to be there to pick me up. I walked out of the terminal and there was that little grey Dodge Aries with Melanie looking so wonderful with that brown coat on that made me excited even if she wasn't wearing it. I got in and we kissed and then drove away. The snow covered streets was a far contrast of from the pouring rain that I had left in Richmond Virginia. As we rode along the smooth white plowed snow covered streets she noticed that her father was following us. I now realize that he was just concerned for his little girl, his youngest born with a man older than his first born.

I had a birth certificate and went to get my driver's license. Melanie was helping me become somebody again, a productive member of society. We really loved each other, doing everything together, holding hands, going to the beach together, sharing thoughts and ideas of a life together. We must have made love several times a day. The care and passion really showed. I really loved this beautiful little white girl from Staten Island. She took care of me, help guide me in the right direction, comforted me, loved me and pampared me. I wanted this woman for the rest of my life.

I had come into a small amout of money about $2000.00 and I wanted to surprise Melanie with an engagement ring and hope that she would accept. I went to the diamond district of NYC, 5th Avenue and 49th Street, where diamonds are traded and sold daily. I found a lovely half ct. marquise shaped diamond for $800.00 and I bought it. I then went to another store where I saw a Tiffany setting and had the diamond set. I returned back to Staten Island excited and I told a co-worker, Alice, whom was close to Melanie about my deciding to propose to Melanie and I wanted her help to make it a surprise. Alice told Melanie that we were all going to a resturant to have dinner. We had reservations, so when we arrived they had a table waiting and we were seated. I believe Melanie had a idea something was up, she just had that look on her face. There was an expensive bottle of Champagne brought to the table and then I got on one knee and proposed to her. The look of surprise and shock was to die for. She said YES! and made me the happiest man on earth. That was the defining moment that I thought would last forever and that happiness would follow us to our graves and there would be a lifetime of love.

I now know, it may not, my fault that she has left me. I slowly started to neglect my love, not treat her like the Queen that she is, not make love to her as often as I should have. We learn from our mistakes and I have learned a valuable lesson. I have been a fool, a true idiot, not realizing the treasure which I held in my arms. Mistakes happen and mine was a huge one but I hope with time a forgivable one. I am so sorry, mere words cannot express, I can only pray to God that she will forgive me and allow me to win her heart back, my "Little Jeanie" for, I truly love you more than life it self.

Answer 2

I've had some of these to an extent, but I truly believe you are goign overboard. If hanging out wiht your friends won't help to cheer you up, I suggest that you go to a professional, sure, unreturned love really sucks, but you are gettign carried away, and therefored depressed, if you can't enjoy yourself anymore, you need help, and it's not an easy thing to admit as a person, but you will be that much stronger to know that you have a problem and you need someone who can help you solve it, good luck, an I hope you feel better aobut all this soon.

Answer 3

Don't give up on yourself. I am better about stuff like that now but it took my soul getting walked on and my heart shredded plus a lot of practice before I realized that all that emotion can be a gift or a curse. Not everyone can appreciate it so not everyone is worthy of receiving it, either. Save it for someone who doesn't even necessarily understand it but appreciates it. I am always most attracted to women that have something going on I like but can't figure out where it comes from. I like the mystery.

Answer 4

I like a girl a lot and I think a lot about her and it makes me sad that I am not with her. But really, if you don't want to live because of another person, you have got major issues. Life is a once in a lifetime gift, stop sulking and do something cool. There is more to life than a relationship.

Answer 5

OMG yes several times

Answer 6

no i have not but just cheer up... don't let it ruin your life. besides you always know there alot more guys... you really don't have to worry you will find that somebody one day.

Answer 7

Yes. But I don't think it was to that extreme because I'm only in highschool... but I can definately relate.

Answer 8

oh! I know how you feel!!!!!! It'll be o.k. there's someone for you & it may be this particular person your talking about!!! Just take some time, be patient. GooD Luck

Answer 9

The only reason you feel this way is because we always want what we cant have...........if you had this person, you probably wouldnt feel so "obsessed"...........

Answer 10

yea i feel like dat everyday

Answer 11

Lighten up, sister!