I have been married 2 times and he just once. He says never to marriage again - and did cheat on me before (via web cam's and chat rooms) He also has lied to me a few times that I have proof of. Now he thinks I should just be ok with all this and forget it happened it was an "honest" mistake! My heart is broken and my trust shattered. We live together and I am alone (something in me loves him - I know kinda nuts isn't it). Help me deal with the pain and find a way to trust him again - or help me to move on.
2006-09-11 12:19:51 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you need to move on. Hard but a simple fact is that he has no respect for you. He's proved it by cheating and if you stay with him, he'll think even less of you. Also, if you stay the situation it may become worse, because he may view you as weak and unworthy, when in reality your more stronger than you think and is worth more money than the world can hold.
Don't you love yourself enough to say, "I don't want to live like this. I deserve better. He does not love me."
I know your worth more than you give yourself credit. Be strong!
2006-09-11 12:25:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating meaning cybersex? Sometimes online flings (and most never come to fruition) are just a way to spice up your life. Feel secure in the fact that he was not out hooker wrangling or hitting on your sister. He was messing around on the computer. It could always be worse.
What you need to do is sit down and have an open talk. Initial reactions to discoveries such as the one you've made are never good for "talking". Tell him why you feel betrayed and give him a chance to explain his reasoning as well. Don't accuse. Listen. Men (strangely enough) are people too.
Maybe all your husband really wants is a little bit more spice in his love life. It is obviously you that he wants to be with. He is married to you and did not physically stray from you. Besides, trying new things in the bedroom is fun for everyone, married or not. If the cybersex is a true turn-on for him, try getting online and YOU be the partner.
Either way, please don't allow this to put a dent in your marriage.
2006-09-11 19:27:26 · answer #2 · answered by A.R. 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
try to look back on all the things in your relationship...sorta like a pro's and con's list...and for some its easier to look and the bad and some the good but try look at both evenly in his reations to you, in his habits at home, in his regular or not so regular-computer time & work, try to remember how he made you feel as a person. and then remember that maybe lonelyness is setting in and maybe he just need to fill a void and he may say anything he can to get you or anyone else to fill that, also remember that maybe he does regret it....after you think of all these things ask your self...do you really want someone who hurt you so badly-with out shame until he was caught, can you truly trust him again, do i only want to be with him because im still hurting and want vengance, do i want to be with him because im lonely, are there other ppl out there who can treat me with more respect, and make your own decisions based on all your answers youll know wheither or not he is worth taking the chance on...and if you do decide to get back with him...try starting slow...go on dates and see if anything has changed...and remember your always allowed to change your mind and turn back around everyone makes mistakes.
2006-09-11 19:32:17 · answer #3 · answered by mytedominatrix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a laptop, wireless card, and a web cam. Go in the other room, get a whole bunch of guys worked up online and when hubby asks to see, tell him denied. Toy with him for a while, then let him see it is you. GOTCHA!!
2006-09-11 20:13:47 · answer #4 · answered by drkhrse099 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just keep living. Dont let your slime ball husband get you down. We are all so lucky to have life. Ma'am. I can almost promise you hes lying. DUMP HIM! Trust me...hell come crawling back to you but dont give up. Keep your diginity. After all you are a woman. Show him whos boss. He is treating you like a dog toy. Dont give up sister. Hey youll find a new fella!
Good luck. i hope someone very special comes around your corner.
2006-09-11 19:27:37 · answer #5 · answered by unknown 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's sometimes hard ti tell. but here is a little advise you know what type of cybersex he is into, maybe you may want to try something new. and if you are open minded and still very sexually active with him and willing to try things but he refuses then girl it's hard but life moves on and there are plenty men that will have you. there is someone in this world for everyone:)
2006-09-11 19:41:02 · answer #6 · answered by marelyn d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to believe yourself that you deserve better tell him to leave your better without a cheating scumbag
2006-09-11 19:24:24 · answer #7 · answered by angel 36 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did he put the lotion on his skin providing you bought him some?
2006-09-11 19:27:59 · answer #8 · answered by tardboy4u2luv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is your decision to have your pleasure. o.k. do as you like it.
2006-09-11 19:27:01 · answer #9 · answered by prince47 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋