should i be lonely or... get hurt EVERY time?

Question

every time i ask girls out they shoot me down. they dont like me in that way and i respect that.
so as it cases hurt and deprestion for me and embaressment for them, isnt it best that i stay single and swallow my feelings and not keep puting my heart on the line.

i have had every bit of advise on being more sucessful at asking girls out. but they have never worked, includeing the advice from you guys (thanks!)
it realy hurts to be knocked back everytime, it feels like your soul gets burned.

so... do i

stay single, and get lonely or
put my heart on the line and get burnt?

(thanks in advance!)

Answer 1

maybe you shouldn't wear you heart on your sleeve. If you get that hurt over being turned down, good lord, you'd probably committ suicide over a break up and really hurt a girl badly. You need to get some self esteem, and a tougher hide.

Answer 2

There is a saying it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all..but I suppose if you still want to try you heart is not really getting involved until you actually love them. In my case I never give the guy a chance to hurt me preferring to stay just friends. So I will probably end up that single old bat with 30 or more cats. Just think of the kind of life you want if single and lonely is unacceptable then keep asking but if you can live your life that way then the choice is ultimately yours. Good luck and don't give up.

Answer 3

Don't think about it as being lonely and depressing! If you go looking for a girl all the time, then you will end up in trouble one way or the other. Take it from me--enjoy being single and independent while you can. Don't be so eager to jump into relationships. If you back off and concentrate on the good things in your life, the right girl will come around eventually.

Answer 4

Being single is not a good solution when you really want to be with someone... I have learned, through experience, that not having high expectations of a relationship helps. By this I mean that you just have to accept yourself for who you are.

When I meet a girl, I hope to just become a good friend. This puts us both at ease, and believe it or not gives both a chance to get to know each other. The majority of the time I have found that they really aren't "girlfriend" material.

Getting to meet girls as just friends will take care of your loneliness problem, not getting ahead of yourself to quick will take care of the embarrassment problem.

Another good thing to having a few friends that are girls will give you an insight as to what you might be doing right or wrong in asking to go out with them.

Answer 5

I have had the same problem. I went for professional advise at a charm school. I didn't take formal lessons but learned how to not ask a woman out. Confidence is the solution and it is hard to come by when you get shot down all the time. You must find something that you are good at and then find women that like the same things and then find venues that promote those things where you can meet. For instance, you might like to make ceramics. Get good at it then go to clubs where like people congregate. It has worked for me.

Answer 6

It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I'm not sure who said that but it's true. Don't succumb to thinking that you just aren't the type of guy that girls go for!!

I would say, don't let yourself fall into the "friend zone." If you are liking a girl and know that you want to ask her out, then make your intientions known first and foremost and right upfront. "I'm interested in getting to know you better and seeing where this leads" means a lot more than "I like you." Like is too broad of a word for most girls and they probably turn you down because they "don't want to hurt the friendship" or because they "don't like you THAT way."

Besides, just being yourself and easy going is probably the best way to win a girl over. Listen to her, be there for her and be persistent!! Girls love to be pursued (but not in that creepy stalker way). Hahaha, good lucky buddy!!

Answer 7

Don't forget when you get tired of all this that you have spoken about there are always those great Godzilla movies from the sixties waiting for you to laugh at. You can only give girls just so much power, and then you have to think about your right to laugh at Japanese sci-fi movies where the sound track is never in synch with the images! My heart goes out to you. Do not make women your only interest.

Answer 8

i think ur problem is that u tell them too fast, a girl is not gonna like u just because u said that u like her, take it slowly, be her friend, and if its suppose to happen it would turn into something else, and also be aware of the obvious, if u know a gir doesn;t like u then don't give urself hope it would only hurt u more, on the other side u asking a lot of girls out and none of them saying yes, makes other girls not like u, so take it slow, i'm sure a girl would come to u, and it would all be better for u, don;t try to force a relationship, relationships happen mpostly on their own, after u have one, then u will have to work har on it

Answer 9

Well, we all go through it at some points.. well at leat most of us do (i sure did).. i don't think its possible to make a decision like that and really stick to your guns. When you stop looking for the right person, thats when you find them, and you soon break your vow of celibacy when they show the vital signs of interest. I know that sounds cliche, but it worked for me and my guy (we were in the sane boat, both hurt and both gave up looking.. then voila.
The morale is, don't look or try too hard. sit back and let ms right find you. good luck mate

Answer 10

There are no easy answers. Most of us have been knocked back loads of times. Some blokes lie about girls turning them down, but it happens a lot. But I firmly believe that there is someone out there for everyone, it's just a matter of time until you find her. It does hurt, but believe me, it makes the success even sweeter when it happens. Good luck.