There is this girl I know, I have known here even since I moved here. I absolutely adore her and she’s my best friend. But I love her and I do anything for her. I’m gay and proud but she doesn’t know. But the problem is I don’t know about her, sometimes she seems to be bi or gay (she even kind of admitted it) but she is very quiet and I don’t want to offend her. I’m so lame at this I have pulled guys but never girls, any help or advice?
2006-09-11 11:26:11 · 11 answers · asked by Vulcan Chic 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ah, I fell in love with my best friend when we shared a house at Uni (she is very Dyke-y) and eveyone still thinks she's gay 6years later, but she has never 'come-out' and never had a boyfriend either. I didn't have the guts to tell her I was gay until she was back living in Northern Ireland. She was totally fine with it but it didn't provoke any kind of revelation from her. Luckily I am no longer in love with her, but she will always be special to me. My advice would be to definately tell her, but have no great romantic expectations about it (hard I know!). You could do this in a variety of ways from subtle to full-on. subtle could be to buy a Lesbian mag, or get a flyer to a gay event and leave it somewhere, noticable. Then if she doesn't bring that-up, go out for a cuppa somewhere nice and say "There's something I really want to tell you as my best-friend, but I'm worried about what you may think.....I'm Gay" (I was Chicken and wrote it in a nice card with an explanatory letter and posted it to my friend) Don't mention the love stuff yet, leave that time to settle and see what response you get. If it's all pretty positive later on in your friendship (give it at least a week I reckon, unless she's come-out by then) say something light in passing about liking her maybe "We get on so well, that i hope I find a girlfriend a lot like you" This tells her without being confronatational that you think she's great Girlfriend Material without telling her you love her or expect stuff from her, as that may frighten her. Then just see how it goes. If she knows she's gay and likes you too this should be enough to get a sign form her. Which are the same signs girls give guys, but it can be really hard as girls are naturally more touchy-feely than boys. I am usually pretty direct to avoid confusion. If I meet a girl I like who I know is gay I am very clear to ask them out on a DATE as opposed to going for coffee etc. Then on the date when it gets to that end of evening time I'l say something like " I think you're lovely can I kiss you?" Or If the evening has been more ambiguous I say "I had a lovely time tonight, but I'm not sure how you feel....are we dating or becoming friends?" All quite blunt but it saves weeks of agonising!
Best of luck with it and don't expect too much people don't know they're gay until they know, no matter how obvious it can be to someone else!
JXXX
2006-09-14 23:38:30 · answer #1 · answered by sweetpsychosis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like she likes you. and clearly she is waiting so that you may make the first bypass because you're a guy and that is what adult men do! in any case, convinced, ask her out to dinner and word the way it is going from there. even possibly see a movie too. try retaining her hand. If she holds your hand on the date then she surely likes you larger than a pal. Asking her on a date does no longer propose she is your female friend. See how the dinner date is going. Then ask her to do more desirable issues (bypass to video clips, bypass to a park, watch a movie at your homestead, bypass out to eat). once you know for particular that she is drawn to you, then you definately can ask her to be your female friend. As for dinner, ask her what her trendy nutrients is or what her trendy eating position is, then bypass there. you need to provide to pay for her. sturdy success!
2016-11-26 01:57:18 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are gay and proud as you say you are then be honest with her about your sexuality. don't tell her that you love her just let her know that you are gay and then let her make the decision. be prepared for her to be shocked and also upset that you are her best friend but never confided in her. good luck.
2006-09-11 11:30:30 · answer #3 · answered by burn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is only one way to find out dear, and thats just to ask her. Maybe have a conversation with her that leads up to you asking her. If she says no and no longer wants to be your friend, then thats a shame, but you cant fault yourself for that. My hunch is that she will say yes. Have fun and give us an update, lol.
2006-09-11 11:32:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're gay and proud, she, as you best friend, should know. All you have to do is tell her. You don't have to say "I'm a lesbian AND I want to be your girlfriend" that might be too much too soon.
2006-09-16 13:57:38 · answer #5 · answered by DonSoze 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just say hey, you remember that time when you said (kind of admitted she's bi), did you really mean that? See how she responds and let her know that you'd like to experiment with her. See where it goes.
2006-09-11 11:32:29 · answer #6 · answered by ask the eightball 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask her i a nice way.
2006-09-11 11:34:10 · answer #7 · answered by love me like me hate me 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lick it
2006-09-11 12:18:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just go up to her an ask her out i don't know wat else to tell u don't go that way
2006-09-11 11:37:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just ask her!!
2006-09-11 11:28:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋