HELP!!! With my kids!!?

Question

My son has been in foster care for 1 1/2 years and now I got him back home, but him and his sister won't quit fighting and it is about to drive me CRAZY!! Also,he is trying to go back to the same smart mouth and rude behavoir that got him taken away from me in the first place.Please give me some advice!!!!

Answer 1

You don't mention your children's ages.

If it's bickering then I suggest you think about what sort of things they fight about and do things to prevent it from happening. One way to accomplish this is to set some rules about use of bad language, bed times, respecting each other's property and personal space, etc. and be sure to enforce them!

Don't ask them to stop or to do something more than once. It's hard to enforce things after the FIRST time, but it is necessary. When we ask kids to do something or stop doing something 3, 4, or so times, they learn that they have a few more "clean up your rooms" before we mean it, so it is time to retrain them to respond the first time. That goes for doing homework, walking the dog, taking the trash out, getting off the phone, or whatever your kids are suppose to do (or not do).

It will take a lot effort on your part for a while, but in the long term I think you will have more responsive and respectful kids.

Siblings fight. It's a fact of life. But if their fighting is physical then it is even more important that you try to be preventative.

Answer 2

Siblings are going to fight. You did not mention how old they are? Don't get in the middle of it or play referee. They may be testing you to see what they can get away with- or trying to get the other one in trouble with you- nobody started it- ever....its just ongoing!!!
And as far as the rude behavior- mimic it. Act just like they do!!! Then they may realize what you put up with daily and hopefully they will stop. And maybe an adjustment of your attitude may help, too! Or you should know at least that they act out for a reason...and their goal is not primarily to drive you crazy, even though it seems that way sometimes. Try to set them down and ask them what is truly bothering them...

Answer 3

From personal experience... All I can say is LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!!! Okay, children develop best in a loving and nurturing home, and children that are taught love will therefore likely show love to their siblings. They likely will play out there "hatred" for each other only because that is what they've either known or because that is what is allowed. Fighting some with siblings is common. Siblings should be given fun, relationship building activities to do together and shown that they have things in common and can enjoy each others company. One big no, no is yelling and screaming at them. It really only shows them that fighting is okay. Also, a big thing that kids need to know is that there are consequences for their actions. Rude mouthiness and behavior towards parents and/or siblings is never acceptable. I wish you the best of luck. I know from personal experience that family squabbles are painful.

Answer 4

Talk to them nicely and give them options: stop, time out, etc....
Calm down. When I was little, I was like this. Ignore the smart mouth comments, and when you talk, be firm, gentle, and willing to listen to PROPER talk. Look at him when you speak and be serios, but keep your cool.
If this doesn't help, talk to his teacher. How does he act at school? Work as a team and join Parent talk or another parent group for help. His teacher may have a few references of the groups.
Oh, and always reason. Spanking can make things worse. But be serious and firm!!!!

Answer 5

Maybe you should give him more attention. Being in a foster home can be very damaging to a childs life and to be reunited back to you is something special but maybe he thinks that you give his sis more attention and to act up thats his way of getting to notice him

Answer 6

Not to be rude, but do you have a male figure in their lives. I've noticed that most kids will respond better to a male telling them what to do. I have custody of my godson and his brother. They act the same way that you're son does when they're with my mom. Once I come in, they tend to calm down. You also have to put your foot down and not be afraid to spank/slap him (as long as you don't beat him). It works

Answer 7

His smart mouth and rude behavior aren't the reasons he was taken away from you. It's how you react to him. Make a new start with new agreements between you and your children and your children between themselves. Then enforce it by depriving them of something they want to do.

Answer 8

I am an adoptive mother to a previously "in foster care" child. Let me say that YOU have to do the hard work of changing. These kids, our kids, your kids, any kids, are just that- kids.They will try to test us. Over and over, just to see our reactions. And as hard and tough and unfair as it seems, we have to be the ones to say "Ok- Life has been unfair, but I want my family to change- Let it begin with me." Pray and Pray and Pray. Show him love, and get counseling. Fast. It will work. You are in my prayers.

Answer 9

TELL U THE TRUTH THERE IS REALLY NOTHING TO DO, CAUSE I HAVE A 6YR OLD N A 1YR OLD N THEY FIGHT. WHAT I DO IS, DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO THEM CAUSE THAT WOULD DRIVE U CRAZY!!!!!!!!! TRY TO TAKE IT EASY N BREATH EVERY TIME U FEEL STRESS. IT WON'T BE LONG UNTIL THEY GET OUT. GOOD LUCK

Answer 10

Kids fight, me and my little brother would fight all the time. If he is still acting out, maybe he needs some professional help.