My girlfriend and I have been together for 8 months and we've been quite good to each other these 8 months....and not too long ago we got in an arguement and she admitted to me that she was not a virgin,which i had beilved she was a virgin this whole time...I thought I was the first....and pretty much every time we get into an arguement for now on I always end up finding out something new about her,and it hurts becuase I love her soo much and now I feel like I don't even know her....How do I approach this situation? and how do I show her how much it hurts me when I find out she's been lieing to me the whole time.....like what can I say that would really make her understand.
2006-09-11 10:48:40 · 13 answers · asked by roy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have to agree with the earlier answer that if she's hiding things from you then you need to find someone who is open and honest.
Having said this I would also like to say if your constantly having arguments, then maybe you should consider stopping the relationship. Arguing is good for a relationship except when arguments become so consistent that they are the only way you communicate.
2006-09-11 10:55:28 · answer #1 · answered by mikeae 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take it easy, Roy. Eight months really is not a long time. It seems like it, but it is not. You are just learning about your g/f. This process can take years. As for her being a virgin, well, the first time she was with you WAS a first. What difference does it really make? You should wait for marriage anyway, IMO. So take time enjoying your g/f and don't assume she is lying because she didn't tell you something about herself. No one reveals everything in eight months unless they have lived a very shallow life. Love takes time. Hopefully, a lifetime. Good luck.
2006-09-11 10:55:41 · answer #2 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that she's chosen to lie to you. It is one thing to conceal that she's not a virgin; I can see she might lie because she doesn't want to lose you but it seems lieing is a pattern of behaviour for her, right?
Make it clear that you value honesty. Tell her that she has to earn back your trust. Give her a definite plan of how she is to change (if she chooses to) if she wants to be in your life.
You may be better off letting her go, as hard as it may be to believe that. I wish you all the best.
2006-09-11 10:58:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe its you who needs to understand. Why did she tell you she was a virgin in the first place ?? Dont guys make girls feel like sluts otherwise ? Just tell her you will accept her as she is and she doesn't need to lie. But then again you can come to find out that you wont accept her.
2006-09-11 10:52:43 · answer #4 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My girlfriend always says, "Don't ask a question if you can't accept the answer." You need to make some changes in your approach if you expect her to change her approach with you. If you want to know her past, ask her in a way that reassures her you only want to know to understand who she is better and not as a checklist to judge her by. Or even better, if you like who she is, let the issue go altogether and accept that whatever is in her past made her who she is and embrace who she is. Don't worry why she is the way she is. You have to trust anyone you are in a relationship and it sounds like you need to be reminded of that.
2006-09-11 11:02:17 · answer #5 · answered by randyken 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love this girl, you definitely need to confront her! She should not have lied to you about anything! You should tell her how you feel and if she is going to keep lying to you, and only telling you things about her when shes mad then you need to break it off now......or you can try and resolve it. You really need to tell her that it hurts you and that you love her but you didn't think you can trust her. There's no reason for her to lie to you all the time, its wrong.
2006-09-11 10:56:47 · answer #6 · answered by ~Cupcake~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that is great that you have been going out for 8 months. but i wouldn't let it bother you that she isn't a virgin, it could have been a mistake and she never wanted to think about it again. 8 months is much to long to worry about a thing like that. just tell her that you would like to know her better.
2006-09-11 10:54:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down and talk 2 her and tell her 2 b honest with u and that should help things cuz' a relationship doesn't work without honest and trust
2006-09-11 10:54:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound younger. Live and learn my young friend. It is the first to lie and many more to come.
2006-09-11 10:52:07 · answer #9 · answered by James S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's been hiding things from you, she's been doing it to others too. You should find someone else who's open and honest with you.
2006-09-11 10:52:02 · answer #10 · answered by pegasus_1174 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋