2006-09-11 10:20:03 · 11 answers · asked by kezz 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
There is a factory in America which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.
The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arm. A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00am.
The next day at 8:45am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The foreman from the assembly line throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The personnel manager decides he should see this for himself so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there, the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands the new employee surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls him self together and approaches the woman. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday.
Your job is to give Elmo two test TICKLES". boom boom
2006-09-11 14:56:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2006-09-14 05:29:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Before you find your handsome prince, you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs.
A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn’t.
There are four kinds of sex :
HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.
BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.
HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "**** YOU"
COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer **** you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.
2006-09-11 11:44:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i was walking along the road and i saw a cricket ball and a walked a mile further down the road and i saw another cricket ball and i walked another mile and i saw a cricket crying......
there was a dog barking in the middle of the night and so the wife wakes her hubby up and says to him go outside and shut the neighbours dog up. hubby reluctantly gets dressed goes out into the night, 5 minutes later he comes back upstairs and gets back into the bed, The wife says i thought you were going to shut that dog up, its barking even louder now and hubby says yeah i know iv'e put it in our garden to see how they like it.......
2006-09-11 11:38:59 · answer #4 · answered by chris w. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A little man walked into a bar and slipped on a pile of dog poo by the door.Moments later, a burly biker came in and slipped on it as well.
The little man said;"I just did that."
And the biker hit him.
2006-09-11 13:34:28 · answer #5 · answered by the gunners 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
two nuns went to america for the first time and they wanted to try a hot dog the first nun said to the second nun i really enjoyed that which part did you get she said
2006-09-13 23:42:42 · answer #6 · answered by patricia b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry don't know any funny jokes but this person above me is one big a**ehole taking the piss out of something so tragic so my joke to you is laugh at the p**ck mckevitt he must be a complete tw*t
i mean the one above road runner joke
2006-09-11 12:34:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
new rampant rabbit invented today... it's so realistic, when the woman really starts enjoying herself, it switches off.. rolls over farts and snores.......
a west country farmer and wife have fallen on bad times,
the husband says: "ere deidre, if you had bigger breasts we could sell the cow"
she replies: " terry, if you had a bigger knob, we could get rid of the tractor driver"
2006-09-12 01:46:18 · answer #8 · answered by paulrb8 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
steve irwin said he likes thunderbirds but will always have a special place in this heart for stingray.
2006-09-11 12:16:20 · answer #9 · answered by mckevitt007 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What kind of food is the road-runner?
"fast' food
2006-09-11 12:30:32 · answer #10 · answered by dishwasher67 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋