Her new boyfriend is kind of nice but i just don't care for him becasue he is totally changing my mom and she always said she would make sure that anybody she was ever with was suitable with me and my bro and sis and that we would come first not them and it is acctually turning out to be the exact opposite!!! What should I do?
2006-09-11 09:39:11 · 27 answers · asked by Lefty 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Honestly - give him a chance first, and analyze your own reactions to him. It is natural for you to resent any new man in your mom's life, and to feel that she is choosing him over you.
How is she changing under his influence? Is it all for the bad? Does he demand time and attention or simply get it? Are there good things in her changes as well as bad? If she's happier, she will be able to give more to you as well as herself.
How does he treat you? With respect? Or just with "bribery" kind of fake niceness? Being the new man in a mom's life isn't easy, and listening to the kids and really getting interested in what they have to say is very important.
If, when you look at it objectively, you think this guy is not being square and upfront with you all, and is changing your mother for the worse, you need to talk to her about it.
But you may surprise yourself if you are honest with yourself and give the guy a chance to prove himself. If he really loves your mom he will love you too, and with a little chance he might be able to prove it.
2006-09-11 10:08:33 · answer #1 · answered by AndyH 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you have some reason to think this man is not good for your or your family (not just that your Mom's attention is now split) then I suggest you look at how happy your Mom is. If this man is making her happy it is time for you to not be selfish and to help your brother and sister to accept that sometimes Mom will need time with this man to make a relationship.
Consider you and your siblings have a head start on the closeness with your Mom and should not require as much time as a new relationship.
I think you also should talk to your Mom and tell her you have been feeling a little left out or neglected or whatever it is that is really bothering you. Ask for some special time set aside for you and your siblings, but grant her the same thing.. special time to pursue this new relationship.
Above all, be honest with your Mom and let her know how you are feeling.
2006-09-11 09:50:58 · answer #2 · answered by Silvatungfox 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got the same problem.My mom's boyfriend is a total loser, and my mom thinks he's the best guy in the world.He stole car parts from my grandpa and sold them for 500$, which he totally took without permission, and he didn't give any money to my Grandpa.Although, my mom and him have been together for 6 years.It's terrible, and they even talk about getting married someday which they wont.He needs to get lost, and im hoping someday he will, it will just take my mom a few years, or six more to get rid of this guy.I know this didn't make your problem better, lol, but just thought I would share my experience.
2006-09-11 10:44:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should talk to your mom but first think about this is it the new guy you dont like or is the time he takes from you being with your mom?sometimes when people start new relationships they seem to want to be together all the time and she might just be sort of caught up with him right now it will change trust me but try telling your mom you miss time with her and suggest a mom and kid day just you and your brother and sister and mom without the boyfriend she might not know how you are feeling
2006-09-11 09:56:16 · answer #4 · answered by patbgone 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure she's not at last putting HERSELF first? First of all let your mother know how you feel. Sit down and talk with her about your feelings, don't whine, nag, btch, confront, yell, scream or pout. You also have to realize that your mother is human and humans need interaction with their peers (boyfriends, women friends, co-workers) even if they are single moms in order to be happy. Your mom deserves to be happy just as you do and maybe it's not the boyfriend who is changing her, maybe having someone in her life is what is changing her for the better.
2006-09-11 09:47:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
let your mom know how you feel. sometimes people change if they're trying to start a new life. you didn't really explain how your mom is changing. is she neglecting you guys? coming home late and drunk? maybe she's just wearing more makeup and sexier clothes than before. the important thing is let your mom know how you feel. maybe all of you (the new guy, mom, you and your sibs) can have a "family" night out. maybe the guy isn't so bad. also remember, your mom is only human too. she gets lonely and looks for adult company.
2006-09-11 09:48:47 · answer #6 · answered by Chris E 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your mom about it,be honest about not liking him.Do you have good reasons for not liking him . Like does he treat you or sibling or mother bad or abusing any of you guys? If not is it just possible that you are just jealous of him or afraid you are going to lose your mom to him.Maybe you should talk to a counselor at school about your concerns.Good Luck.
2006-09-11 10:59:23 · answer #7 · answered by lisababyg ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is not abusive to you or your mom, If he is not unkind to you or your mom and your mom really cares about him, I beg you, please do not be selfish. Give it time and try to find ways to fit in and be flexible. You are going to grow up and move out. Your mom will be left behind alone and probably unhappy. She could really lose out on someone special by the kids being selfish. Relax, see where it goes and try not to be antagonistic and selfish.
2006-09-11 11:15:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing you can reall y do but sit and watch what happens she is an adult and she has made this decision only she can undo anything she has done if you step into it and make life miserable for him she will step in and let you know where you stand and it will hurt so i would say butt out of it it s hard enough for someone to find love out here(and as long as he is not abusing you in any way) but it s very hard for people with children to find romantic partners just be happy for mom unless it seems she is miserable
2006-09-11 09:46:37 · answer #9 · answered by glass_city_hustla 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not much you can do! Sadly I think a lot of kids your age are in the same situation you are in. You will have to deal with it!! It makes me so happy that my parents have been happly married for 40 years! I never had to deal with it!!
2006-09-11 10:06:03 · answer #10 · answered by LITTLE 1 :o) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋