I'm 21 years old, and have never had a serious boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, I date. But I always wind up just being friends with the guys. I don't know why that happens, but it does. This guy I've liked since I was in junior high asked me out recently, and we went on a date. I'm scared that if there's a second date we're going to go back to just being friends. Is there any way to stop that from happening?
2006-09-11 09:19:59 · 27 answers · asked by Charlee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Girl I know a 25 year old like you its okay! Don't rush and do be out there looking for love because it wont happen! Just be you and enjoy your friends and life!
2006-09-11 09:21:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes that just happens. It doesn't necessarily mean that anything is wrong with you. There are many explanations. One is maybe you don't date the right kind of guy.
I used to date people who were my friends. They knew me and got to see a side of me that I didn't always show to the rest of the school. After we would break up, it would always be very, very awkward. It is better to end up as friends that have friendships that get ruined.
Don't listen to the guys who tell you to jump this guy's bones... that will not help you one bit. If there would not have been anything real between you, it would just ruin the relationship. If it helps keep him near only for that reason, he'll think you're easy.
What's so important about having a very serious boyfriend? It's not the be-all-and-end-all to your early 20's. You just haven't found one that clicks yet... and that's no crime. Atl least you haven't wasted your time on bad boyfriend prospects!
Just be yourself and relax. He won't relax if you won't. Good luck and remember that if you end up just as friends, at least you haven't created an enemy and there is someone else out there waiting for you.
2006-09-11 17:07:56 · answer #2 · answered by Cirrus81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No there is nothing wrong with you. When the right guy comes along it will work, In the meantime you are not making the mistake of hooking up with all the wrong guys and that is good.
You are being friends with guys and that is good too, first if you begin a serious relationship with a guy it will be better if you are friends first. That way you know you like each other and it isnt just sex, Second by hanging out with your guy friends you will meet their guy friends and this is a good way to meet new guys. And if they are good friends with your friends then you will be able to trust them and get to know them easier, You are doing everything right, just relax and have fun.
2006-09-11 16:43:58 · answer #3 · answered by brendagho 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't be so quick to think there is something wrong with you. I would sooner believe you just haven't been going out with the right guys.
Let me tell you something. I am now 34 years old, and I didn't meet my wife until I was 29 years old. All of my friends, my brother and some of the people in my same age group at church were married, and in many cases had their first child before I even met and started to date my wife. One of my friends, married, divorced and remarried before I met my wife. Do you have any idea how depressing that was?
Right now, I am sure you are looking at this like there must be something wrong with you because of your lack of having a serious relationship, but you shouldn't. At 21 years old, you should be going out with your friends and laughing and cutting up and having a good time. Enjoy being single. I am going to go out on a limb and say you have probably been pushing a little bit, and perhaps scaring these guys away because you are feeling a self imposed pressure to have a serious relationship just to prove to yourself there is not anything wrong with you.
Charlee, this what I would like for you to do. Now, this is strictly voluntary. But, I really think it will help you. When you meet these guys, focus more on getting to know them. Don't discuss right away that you want a serous, committed relationship at the first. Make your goal to be having more than 3 dates with them. Show your fun side, and that you can joke and be happy. By doing this you are exuding confidence, and confidence is quite frankly sexy as h e l l. As you get to know these guys, the fact you want a serious committed relationship will surface on its own. You don't have to have sex with them as one person has suggested. Don't compromise who you are, rather be proud of who you are and let it shine.
If you play your cards right, these guys will be lining up at your front door begging to be with you Charlee.
Now, hold your chin up. Go out on dates, have some fun.
I honestly hope I have helped you. Please let me know what happens on your date. REMEMBER, fun first, seriousness later on.
2006-09-11 16:42:05 · answer #4 · answered by bowtierodz 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Only you can stop that from hapening. Somtimes when you go out especially at 21 years old it takes awhile to find mr right I didnt find mine until I ws 23.just take your time theirs nothing wrong with you its just a normal stage of life. Do you no how many geeks and freeks, I dated until I found my hubby. I dated this one guy who constantly talked about his self and he wouldnt stop combing his hair,This other guy i dated had a bad habbit of always bringing up his x girlfriend that was always a bother, And my favorite I dated a dentist!! He was cute enough but no personality. i finally got lucky on a blind date that my sis set me up on. It was going really good till i got the i just want to be friends line. turns out he was not into blonds.
2006-09-11 16:28:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go on the second date and have a wonderful time together, and let it be known to him that he means more to you then just a friend. If you don't go out with him and leave it to just the one date, then you are back to 'just friends', go out again and make sure you have a third and forth date to follow behind the second!! Blessed be.
2006-09-11 16:25:47 · answer #6 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you ever thought that maybe your really just not ready for a serious relationship yet. Have you done the things in life you want to do? Have you accomplished any of the goals you have set for yourself? Many people are waiting until they are older to settle down into a relationship and the responsibilities this entails.
2006-09-11 16:25:00 · answer #7 · answered by Red 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes if one wants romance, one actually has to do something about it. If you want your friend to pursue you and to understand that you are looking for something more than friendship; then you are going to have to give him a clear sign...for example, a long, lingering kiss at the first opportunity to plant one on him. Nothing over the top. Just something slow and suggestive.
2006-09-11 16:25:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably don't want to hear this but being friends is a great way to begin a relationship. It's not about getting a guy quick, in a hurry, fast, so the good ones aren't all gone. It's about finding one who is compatible, comfortable, and agreeable. Find someone you like being with, who likes being with you and keep doing it.
2006-09-11 16:28:16 · answer #9 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think there are more people afraid of relationships now more than ever...with marriages ending the way they do etc.
I wonder if you set your sites too high....as in....are you choosing people who are distant without realizing it?
Maybe it's your choices...not you at all!
You need to ask yourself if deep inside it's you that's afraid of getting into a serious relationship. If not......the right one will come along. Consider yourself lucky to have so many friends. So many people out there do not.
You are still so young....just be patient. When the right one comes along, you'll know.
2006-09-11 16:26:12 · answer #10 · answered by Me 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋