Why do some people get angry at those with suicidal thoughts?

Question

The reason why I ask, is because when people have problems in life, & come to me, I try to understand their situation fully so I can truly give my best advice to them. I think the best way to truly communicate your ideas to someone, is to really understand them first. But I see that many people don't do this.

When one feels they should kill themselves, people usually get angry at them, & don't try to understand them at all.

They say thing like, "your crazy, get lost", or "your a stupid coward, pathetic", but they don't offer any real help, they only bash them.

Maybe they do this out of fear of dealing with something bad in their own life that they avoided to face, because by facing it, they would have to briefly question suicide themselves because some problems are that difficult to figure out. They're reminded of they're own pain because of these people?

Or maybe it's the arrogant, "I overcame my problems, so your dumb if you don't know how overcome yours?"

Thoughts?

By the way, I;m not talking about people with mental illnesses, I;m talking about people who go through cirtain events that will firce them to at least for a moment, think about suicide.

I don't think you have to be crazy or ill to think for a moment, "what if I just give up"?

kerangoumar - the last statement you said I think is foolishness. Any human being on Earth, no matter how positive and happy, if they went through exreme enough circumstances, suicide will be on their minds for at least a second. What you say is like saying some people never feel fear. Thats rediculous. I think it's a mistake to pretend anyone who thinks of suicide at all is weak and foolish and only strong people never think about it. There's a big difference in thinking of suicide for a brief moment because of the extremely tough situation, and one that thinks about it all the time every single day like an idiot.

Answer 1

Some people may be trying to convey the message of "Hey, How could you think of such a thing! Don't you know how many people you'd hurt!" The goal would be to shake them out of feeling sorry for themselves & into realizing there are others who care for them that they'd be hurting if they did that.

Some times they feel people are just saying stuff like that to get attention. Then they are afraid if they give them a loving response they would just be re-enforcing that undesirable behaviour.

Its a difficult issue trying to know the correct way to respond when someone says stuff like that. What may be the best way to respond to one person may be just the worse thing to say to someone else.

Where is a good site to help people know the best way to respond to someone who talks of suicide?

Answer 2

I would tell such people that suicide is never the answer. People commit suicide because of love problems, money problems, or depression. They feel overwhelmed and can't make a rational deciscion. They should seek help. It's free and just a phone call away.

HELP WITH MENTAL PROBLEMS
Mental Health Info Source 1-800-447-4474 Mental Health Resources and Information
National Institute of Mental Health 1-888-ANXIETY Mental Health Resources and Information
SUICIDE PREVENTION
Suicide & Crisis Hotline [phone] Help for Troubled Teens
National Hope Line Network 1-800-784-2433 Suicide Prevention
SOMEONE TO TALK ABOUT IT TO
Talk Zone 1-800-475-TALK Peer Counselors
Teen Help Line 1-800-400-0900 Help Line For Troubled Teens
Teen Hot Line 1-800-747-8336 Hot Line For Troubled Teens
VOICES In Action, Inc. 1-773-327-1500
Youth Development International 1-800-HIT-HOME (448-4663) Youth Crisis Hotline
National Crisis Line 1-800-334-4357 Crisis Help Line
National Youth Crisis Hotline [phone] Youth Crisis Hotline

Answer 3

my question to you is, why are you asking? if you have given and continue to give your best and most compassionate advice to those coming to you for help, then you have nothing more to worry about. you're not going to fix the world, and probably not even those around you. the most proactive and positive step you can take toward that end is to lead by example. don't participate in bashing or degrading someone with a problem. if those people ask you why others have degraded them, simply say that you can't understand why since you would never have thoughts to say such things to another person. distract the person who was attacked or degraded from the negative aspects of their situation and try to refocus them on everything that's positive in their lives. the less attention you give to someone like those who have gotten angry the quicker they'll shut up and go away. hope this helped!!

Answer 4

People react this way because they are upset at the possibility that the speaker will kill him/herself and then they will be left to deal with the pain and trauma of the situation. And there is anger that someone has left them. And finally, there is the societal concept that killing oneself is "selfish", so people are very angry that the person was selfish, didn't think of others' feelings, and (usually) left a mess.

One point I'd like to raise - the people most serious about suicide are the ones that never talk about it - they plot their escape and do it. Perfect example: Kurt Cobain. At first he talked a lot about suicide, got people angry and concerned etc. However, at a certain point he apparently became extremely quiet and non-communicative, then he killed himself. This phenomenon is well-known within psychiatric circles. For many people, talking about suicide can even be a safety valve - a matter of talking about it in order to obtain support and relief. Perhaps they do not know any other way to articulate their anxieties and fears.

As for your point that average people might "have to briefly question suicide themselves" I disagree. There are masses of people into whose heads such a thought would never stray - not in a million years. To someone who is sensitive, that way of being represents blissful ignorance of a very disturbing question.

One more point: people who talk about suicide or actually commit it are definitely more sensitive than those sunny fellows into whose heads the thought never intrudes. It's the same double-edged sword, the lethal gift, the same set of thoughts and feelings and reactions that produces the poetry also does in the poet - Sylvia Plath for example.

Answer 5

Most people are naive. I look it at from 2 dif view. First off, they probably get put down b/c others probably think they are being selfish, seeking attention, or mad just b/c they don't realize how much it would affect their peers. Second, still as of today, most people cannot comprehend, or should I say refuse to believe the vitality of mental illness. For those who have not experienced it themselves or seen a loved one experience it, they just cannot wrap their minds around it.

Answer 6

I have noticed that pretty much all the people who come on here and talk about suicide are seeking attention-and nothing else. They post repeated questions about it or don't even ask questions--just make some comment or something else that doesn't make sense. They say something just to shock others and get the whole "OMG don't do it please get help you have so much to live for" and then the next day post the same thing.

And sometimes people--even if they are sincere--need to be told flat out that suicide is the most selfish and cowardly thing that you can do. It might snap them out of it.

Answer 7

Honestly, I think suicide is such a waste of a life. It's hard for me to imagine anything so bad that I would want to end my life ...not to mention the pain you cause the people you'd leave behind.I guess that's why sometimes it provokes anger. Because it tears apart so many others. I lost a friend to suicide about 15 yrs ago and it was very traumatic to all of his friends. We all felt like we should have known or wondered why he never spoke to anyone about it. I was angry with him for a long time for letting go. It was a real waste.

Answer 8

One of the better questions I have seen here in a long time. I have lost 3 people in my life to suicide, and I can tell you this.

There are generally 3 types of people who talk suicide, and your reactions to them may be very different.

The first type, my brother, never once mentioned or suggested or hinted suicide...he just did it. The feelings of anger were there because I felt I wish I had a chance to help him.

There are the types that who once in a great while may mention it, but seem to get about ok in life. I think they are depressed at times and just need some help getting back on track.

The last type, are the ones who talk about suicide day and night and day and night alllllllll the time, but never do it. These are the ones I can see getting angry at, because in the beginning, you really believe them, and you try to help. But as the years go on, as do the threats of suicide....you tend to get more angry than empathetic. This was my mother in law.... threatened to kill herself, over and over and over. It got to the point no one would listen anymore.... save for a few people who just yessed her to placate her.

I know I rambled alot, but I do get angry at times with people who threaten to kill themselves because deep in my heart, I know there is so much good in this world, and to me, life is so precious...and there is always help to be gotten if sought...

Answer 9

I think some people get angry out of fear of losing the person who
is suicidal. They probably also feel helpless and don't know what to do.

Answer 10

A lot of people probably don't know what to say in response to suicidal thoughts. Being empathic is a gift and many people just aren't understanding.
A lot of people don't know how to help anyways or they would have offered support.
Many people have thought of suicide and went ahead and committed due to lack of support and understanding.
There are people who can understand, just need to find them and not give in to hopelessness. It's very hard though and our mental health community is failing.