Is it proper to give a deceased person's medal as a gift?

Question

My father, who recently passed away, was well noted in his academic field. He was awarded several medals for his acheivments. His protoge, is a dear friend of the family, who went above and beyond in acts of kindness for my father and our family during these recent sad times.

In appreciation, my step-mother would like to give my father's protoge, one or two of the medals my father was awarded. I feel funny about this. He is in exactly the same field as my father, and one day he will likely be awarded the same medal. The medals have little intrinsic value and are valuable only in the honor that they bestowed.

I'd be agreeable to ask the protege if he would like one, but my step-mother wants to wrap it up and give it to him as a surprise.
I feel that could be awkward as I'm not sure he would it. Is there a way I could explain my feelings to my step-mother without appearing stingy?

Answer 1

I would think that giving the awards as a gift would be a fantastic thing to do. What you could do is have them professionally mounted in a nice frame with a little engraved brass plate that could explain how much you appreciated the protege for helping with your father in a tough period of his life. If I were the protege, I would find a gift such as this, "priceless" as a never ending tribute to your fathers love of the academic field. Anybody would be proud to hang something like that on their wall as a reminder of what your father taught them.

Answer 2

I don't know if wrapping it up is the greatest idea. If I were in the protege's shoes I would really appreciate the thought. But don't treat it like a birthday/Christmas or any other type of gift. Least of all should be the 'surprise' factor. Maybe in a decorative bag and handed to him but nothing more than that. I think it should just be handed to him and simply say "I think my father would have liked you to have this". You can add details or reasons yourself since I don't know them.
Have a great day and I think that's a very generous, thoughtful gift.

Answer 3

I think it's proper, but I agree with you that you should ask the recipient first if he would be interested in having the medal. This would in no way ruin the surprise, it's just shifting the surprise up front to the question rather than to the opening of the gift.

Tell your step-mother what you said here, about how it might be awkward for this person to open the medal unawares. There's nothing stingy in your viewpoint, you are not saying to NOT give the guy the medal, you are merely being considerate in his feelings.

Good luck.

Answer 4

I think this would be appropriate considering the relationship of the recipient to the deceased. I also think because it is the wife of the deceased who will be presenting this gift that the recipient will understand the intent of the gift and thus will alleviate a feeling of awkwardness. However you state that you are the daughter of the deceased and the wife is your step-mother. Please don't be offended but I must ask is this an issue between you and your stepmother regarding how your fathers belongings will be distributed? I lost my father at a young age and though I love my mother dearly, she gave away some of my dads possesions that I would have liked to have kept. If that is the reason, by all means speak to her about your concerns.

Answer 5

I agree with you; asking the protege first would be a nice way of handling this. It is a very personal gift and if the protege didn't feel comfortable with it, at least he could decline in the presence of your step-mother and yourself without feeling obligated to be excited/moved when he was not.

Answer 6

For a protege or a family member its ok I think.

Something to remember a respected teacher I think.

I have some 5 and 10 year work pins from an old man who was my good friend and taught me. I treasure them

Answer 7

a million) probable Sydney 2) This freshman Austin. He became great high quality. i'm a jr and hes in order that candy. i'm taking him decrease than my wing. 3) Jacob. I hate him. i desire he gets hit by ability of a bus. That total ingredient became so ******* stupid. Now you get a narrative. i've got enjoyed him considering that 8th grade and he knew it. yet he had a female chum so i did not circulate after him via fact i in my view understand peoples relationships. and then approximately six months in the past he stored complaining to me approximately his courting issues and he ended up breaking apart along with her. and then he made it appear like he cherished me. And he kissed me. And we've been "courting" yet we weren't. and then while he had to have intercourse and that i reported I wasn't waiting he left. 4) Sydney, shes a solid chum. 5) Kylie. we've time-honored one yet another considering that we've been little ones.

Answer 8

The issue is really how you feel. If you don't feel comfortable with it, it would probably be useful to communicate how you feel with your step-mother. A simple - "I don't feel comfortable with that" should suffice.

A mature step-mother should be able to hear you and support you without being judgemental.

Since you feel more comfortable with the idea of asking the protege first, your step-mother should be willing to compromise.

Answer 9

Think of it this way.... would your father want him to have them? Would they inspire him or remind him of the great things your father taught him? Would he find them to be of great sentimental value? Does anyone in the immediate family desperately want them? Where would they most honor the memory of your father? I would give them to him, with the understanding that if he didn't feel comfortable accepting them, they could be returned to you with no hard feelings or prejudice.

Answer 10

It is proper and honors your father's memory. His protoge will accept it as a token of his mentor.