How do you turn someone down?

Question

What's the best way to tell somebody that I'm not interested in starting a relationship with them? Instincts tell me to just say it flat out but should I try to be a little more tactful? I'd like to maintain my friendship with this person.

Answer 1

There is no easy way, just them the truth. It will hurt them very much but in the end if they valued your friendship then you guys will remain friend though that might take a while or if you lucky the feeling might be mutual.

Answer 2

First of all try to put yourself in their shoes...think about how you would feel in this situation and then try to do to them as you would have them do to you (hopefully that would mean that you would affirm them as a person and friend, gently tell them that you want to remain their friend, reassure them that you value them and wish to remain part of their life).

Having said that, you cannot necessarily count on remaining their friend once you've rejected their affection/desire to be in relationship with you. They may just cut all ties to you and walk away.

In my case, I loved a woman more than I'd ever loved a woman before; I was even willing to "sacrifice" this love to be her friend because I felt that her friendship was worth it. Unfortunately we didn't communicate our intentions soon enough; she withdrew once she realized that I was serious about her though I gave her no reason to do withdraw.

I was hurt by her withdrawal, then her later admission that she withdrew (regardless of any good intentions) and finally when I was prepared to accept even this "lesser friendship", she basically blew it by failing to keep her commitment to even the lesser friendship that she claimed she wanted.

Ultimately, I came to the point of rejecting her completely as a friend, she asked for forgiveness but didn't change her ways and so ultimately I let the friendship go. I realize I may seem like a "hardcase" perhaps for the way that ultimately I dealt with things but rejection is hard, no matter how it occurs.

Be very careful when you reject someone's affections for both your sakes... All the best to you.

Answer 3

I like to use this, when talking to someone that I'm not interested in purseing a relationship, I tell them casually in a conversation that "right now is the peak of my life, I'm so busy and I'm trying to focus on getting my life to together and figuring out what I need to do to achieve my goals. I hardley have time to do anything." or I talk about having babies and stuff, but I'm a girl.

Answer 4

Be nice and be honest about your feelings. If that wont work and you want a chicken bleep way out, you can always use the "I'm not into having a relationship (with anyone) right now" line. I've used it a few times in the past and its worked....

Answer 5

Say what most of the girls I used to ask out say... "I never really saw you as more than a friend". Then ignore them forever because you'll never feel the same towards that person ever again knowing that they like you.

Answer 6

You don't want to be blunt and hurtful; however, you don't want to stretch the truth. Just tell the person that even though you enjoy their company, that you can't see yourself as being with this person under a romantic relationship.

Answer 7

Do excately that be tactful but forward

Answer 8

discuss it with her and tell her gently that ur friendship is much more important for u

Answer 9

Either way you may put it, it will still hurt them, so let him/her down slowly, you don't want any uneeded drama.

Answer 10

Just tell her for cripes sakes!

FP