Is not that I don't have a heart, but her uncle got lung cancer from smoking and if i am not mistaken, the pack says "cigarettes cause cancer" and her family asked him to stop smoking long ago before he got the cancer (that's like cutting your wrists slowly over the years) .my girl and her uncle are not that close but she loves all her family. I don't want to postpone my wedding, but I don't want to make her feel bad. What do I do?
2006-09-11 08:02:42 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Life must go on. Weddings a re great way for families to come together and leave the stresses of everyday life behind them..even if it is just for a few hours. My grandpa (who I am extremly close to) had a severe heart attack a moth before my wedding. No one in my family even thought to postpone the wedding. He ended up pulling through (which I know isnt quite the same as in our case) but he was still in the hospital when I got married. Thankfully he was doing well enough to come to the ceremony with a nurse. The point is..LIFE GOES ON. And as hard as it is for your fiance' and her family, they may welcome the chance to remember the joys of life...even if they are unwilling to admit it. Good Luck, Congrats, and Best Wishes
2006-09-11 14:41:33 · answer #1 · answered by Mommy-of-Twins 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stuck between a rock and a hard place. Obviously you are not a smoker! So, from a smoker let me explain that whole...sgt generals warning thing. Yes, cigarettes do say "may cause cancer" on the side of some of them depending on the warning they decide to give your box. What you dont realize is that cigarettes are an addiction...it is harder than hell to quit smoking even if you do have lung cancer, and I'm sorry but if I had lung cancer what would be the point of stopping smoking I can't do anymore damage...so i understand where her uncle was coming from when he didn't quit. As far as your wedding. You need to respect her and her decisions, this is her wedding too. You both need to sit down and clear the air. Get rid of your "he had a warning" mode about her uncle and start being sympathetic. You need to talk to her about how she feels about this death, and you also need to talk to her about whether or not she needs to postpone this wedding. How can you enjoy a day that is meant only for you and your joining of lives if there is someone else in your head. Just because you postpone doesn't mean that she wants to call it off.
2006-09-11 15:08:30 · answer #2 · answered by Natty137 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, find out what the doctors had to say about his condition in more depth. Talk to your fiance about what she wants to do. Discuss with her the pros and cons of both waiting and having it as planned.
1. If everybody is sad over his death, a wedding could help cheer them up. Life is too short to be spent in long periods of mourning.
2. If he lives long enough to make the original wedding date, she would be upset that you two postponed it, he might not live to see the new date.
3. Ask her if he would want you to put of your wedding because of his death, or maybe ask him yourself.
4. How much harder will it be on her to think "I wish he was here" at a wedding after his death, than if she held it while he was alive and not there due to his health.
If it were me, I would try to plan it as fast as possible so that he could attend the wedding. If there were a lot of people who couldn't make it to the wedding, then just have a small ceremony. Then after he's gone and everybody has had a chance to mourn, I would have the big reception a couple of moths later.
2006-09-11 15:28:59 · answer #3 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that her uncle is sick, but it's still up to you and your girl. Do you love her enuf to postpone if she asks? Is she concerned about how many people will NOT attend if you keep the date where it is? I saw "Dog, the Bounty Hunter" on a couple weeks ago and he kept his wedding date although he got the word that his daughter died the day before. See, it's really up to you two to decide. If she has a loving, understanding family-they should back your decision either way. Hope this helps. Good Luck & GOD Bless you and your fiance and her family.
2006-09-11 17:46:32 · answer #4 · answered by dct1218 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her. If you don't want to postpone YOUR wedding, then you need a reality check.
Her family member is dying. Sure he should have stopped, but are you seriously going to hold that over his head? Be there for your fiancee, and be there for her NOW.
It's BOTH YOUR wedding; not just yours. You both need to decide what to do. Listen to her and be honest with her. Things like this are going to happen regardless of the time or occasion. You need to toughen up and realize that it's not all about you any more.
Also remember that if he does die close to your wedding, that you may have people not wanting to come to the wedding, especially if the unlce lived near-by. Why fly out twice? It can be hard on the pocket.
2006-09-11 16:11:20 · answer #5 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she want to postpone the wedding?
2006-09-11 15:05:31 · answer #6 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think a wedding is too big of a thing to postpone, if it were a parent ect. i would postpone, but otherwise, no
2006-09-11 15:21:22 · answer #7 · answered by TN girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋