My boyfirend tell me to stop telling hem what to do and i feel that i'am only trying to help hem. What do you think?
2006-09-11 07:58:26 · 36 answers · asked by Honey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No.....its called tuff love......you love him thats why you want him to stop......sure it seems mean but by all means it is not.
2006-09-11 08:00:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is very wrong for you to tell him to stop. If you feel that strongly about it you should have gone out with someone else. I don't really want to be mean and am just trying to point out that fair is fair. People generally smoke due to a high level of anxiety and insecurity. Nicotine addiction and "nasty habit" have very little to do with smoking. I feel that when he wants to stop, he will. To try and change other people to fit what you want is wrong and is not in the least indicitive of "love". Talk to him about it when it comes up but why pressure him about it as you only increase his anxiety and insecurity. If you can't give him as good as you get, then maybe you should not be with him. I hope this is not rude or anything, I am just trying to let you see another point.
2006-09-11 08:07:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right to have an opinion about his smoking. The fact that he does it is a factor in your relationship and could easily be the reason you may break up some day. I recommend you try to make him understand how important it is to you for him to stop. If he still blows you off, then it may be time to look for a guy who doesn't smoke and who believes that your opinions count in a relationship.
Good luck :)
2006-09-11 10:16:49 · answer #3 · answered by Magina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you ought to speak to him about it. But as far as telling him to stop smoking that is and entirely different thing. He will only stop smoking if he wants to.
Does he have any friends that don't smoke and are you friendly with them? If so apply a little subtly here and have a chat on the QT to his friend to see if he can plant the seed in your boyfriends mind about the pitfalls of smoking... He may just give it up on his own. Good luck your going to need it!
2006-09-11 08:04:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, tell him in a different point of view... tell him that you care about him and that smoking is not good for him and list the things that is bad for him.. like it can kill him; how he smells like an ashtray.. when you kiss him; his clothes smell like an ash-tray. And then tell him that you are only looking out for his best interest. And just leave it at that.. because he is an adult... and he can make his own decisions. Just tell him that you too are an adult and that you don't appreciate second hand smoking and mention to him that you don't want to kiss him anymore because kissing him is like kissing an ashtray....
2006-09-11 08:03:51 · answer #5 · answered by shysinglefriend 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you're not telling him what to do, it's that you would like him to be alive and have energy later on in life. And you don't want to be stuck pulling around his oxygen tank or driving him to all his lung cancer appointments and watching him die slowly. Oh, tell him it will affect his sex drive and erectile function as he gets older as well.
P.S.
I quit smoking 2 years ago the day I found out I was pregnant and I got my husband to quit as well. I can't believe the sense of smell I regained and the energy to do things like keep up with the baby....
2006-09-11 08:05:55 · answer #6 · answered by mother_flower 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and no. Yes its bad for him and no its not your place to hound him over quitting. Its his business and if you keep it up he'll leave because he'll get sick of listening to it, he's made it crystal clear to you that he doesn't like it when you tell him so what aren't you getting about that? He gets how you feel about it, but he'll quit when and if he's ready, in the meantime leave him alone about it. If its that big an issue to you I guess you need a new bf and in the future if you don't like smoking don't even start dating a smoker.
2006-09-11 08:03:33 · answer #7 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Honey. I see your concern (being married to a smoker)..all you can do is sit him down, voice your opinion on the way you feel about him smoking and the health risks, then let it go. He will never be able to light up again without knowing how you feel about it..the one thing you CAN do is not to allow him to smoke around you, that is hurting both of you, not just him...good luck!
2006-09-11 08:02:36 · answer #8 · answered by heandI 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't want a smoker in your relationship, you should have never taken up with him. You need to find out what you will and won't tolerate in a relationship when you first meet someone. You should stop trying to change him, and make a decision: are you okay with a smoker, or not?
2006-09-11 08:07:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with you! I am at this moment trying to get my boyfriend to stop smoking also. He is trying, but then everytime he starts smoking again, I give him this look and he gets upset and starts arguing with me. I think that you just have to give it time, if they really want to quit they will do it on their own. Just tell him that you really care for him and hate seeing him hurting himself by smoking.
2006-09-11 08:02:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think don't think your wrong because afterall would you want to kiss a guy who's breath reek of smoke. And he should probably stop smoking because it's going to affect him in the long run.
2006-09-11 08:12:16 · answer #11 · answered by Ressa08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋