My friend's son was murdered this weekend. I never knew the son, but I have known noth parents for more then 10 years. they came to my wedding, and although not close I do consider them good firends. I want to show my support for the family, but I don't know whether it's normal to go to the funeral of someone you never knew.
2006-09-11 07:41:11 · 101 answers · asked by gingajim 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
With very few exceptions, everyone's responses have been a wonderful help to me. Thank you, sincerely. It was difficult asking such a question, but given the circimstances I am in a whirlwind of emotions and even as a father myself I connot begin too imagienthe turmoil my friends are feeling. I knew in in my heart that going was the right thing to do, but the last thing anyone wants to do in such a situation is to do the wrong thing. I don't care about looking bad, I just care about makign them feel better. I am genuinely grateful to everyone for their words of support.
2006-09-11 11:55:28 · update #1
Yes you should attend the friend's son's funeral. You offer your condolences and give your friend's hugs. It is better to attend than not attend.
2006-09-11 08:02:15 · answer #1 · answered by mom of girls 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should go. Like others have said funerals are for the family not just the deceased. They cared and obviously consider you important enough to take time out of their day to attend your wedding. This is a very painful time for them and they need all the help and support they can get. If you can't attend at least send flowers or a card.
2006-09-11 10:38:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on your comfort level with funerals and mingling with people you don't know. Can you get the time off from work, etc... I would definitely show support by a card, flowers, or covered dish. Will the parents know you are there? Probably not, but somehow express your condolences to them in a personal way. So I would say it's not necessary to go to the funeral, unless you really feel that you should.
2006-09-11 08:46:13 · answer #3 · answered by ht_butterfly27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go to a funeral for at least 1 of 3 reasons.
1. Drink (if you're Irish)
2. Pay your respects to the deceased
3. Show support for family/friends.
So, you should go!
2006-09-11 11:04:41 · answer #4 · answered by Debbie Mc 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
To lose a child under normal circumstances let alone in this appalling way, must be the most devastating experience any parent can encounter, and my heart goes out to your friends and their family.
Your friends are going to need all the support they can get at the moment from loving, caring friends like yourself.
Funerals are not a nice event to attend, but If it feels right for you to go even if just to support your friends, then you must go. You may not have met their son, but they must have spoken about him often. This is not meant as malice or criticism, but if they had had the chance to invite you to his wedding would you have dallied about that?
You obviously care about your friends and the last thing you want right now is to upset them, but i can assure you, you being there will not in the slightest upset them, it can only give them the extra bit of support they are most definitely going to need.
They have a long road ahead of them now and i only hope with the loving help from caring friends like you, they will find peace and happiness again someday. God bless to all.
2006-09-11 08:43:20 · answer #5 · answered by angel1902 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes- you should at least go to the wake but if you have missed that then you show go to the funeral.
Sometimes it's more about the survivors than the deceased.
2006-09-11 08:13:01 · answer #6 · answered by Alison 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you must attend. It's not so much for the son but for the parents who lost him whom you are close to. You are showing them your support , it doesn't matter if you knew the son or not.
2006-09-11 19:30:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what you've said yes it would be a good idea to go. They will welcome your support. Sometimes it can be difficult going to family funerals when you didn't know the dececead very well. But there will be other people there in your position.
Its probably a similar situation when you go to a workmates funeral and some people know them better than others.
Its actually quite a brave thing to do I think so good luck.
2006-09-11 07:49:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should go. people forget that funerals are not for the person that has past, It is for the survivors they left behind. You should show your support by stopping by and offering any help as far as meals, ect if they need it.
I went to a funeral last week for a man I never knew. It was my husbands good friend's dad. We both went to show support
2006-09-11 07:43:59 · answer #9 · answered by adrixia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would most definitely go, no questions asked.
To go one step further, i'd make a donation in memory of the child to the parents favorite charity.
There is nothing more painful than the loss of a child.
2006-09-11 07:51:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋