Both of us are at university,I study architecture and she studies painting ,She has a job since her brother inlaw found her a job and she makes good money out of it{she actually works for her brother inlaw},she has many admirers,none for me except the bus driver and the supermarket guy !.....now my parents and all the family talk about how well she is doing in life and I feel useless,they even worry that I will never get married....!
2006-09-11 07:25:07 · 20 answers · asked by yooooha_mastenger 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
That simply crazy......time. When you find the right person you will know. I wouldnt think about it to much. You have a lot of life to live.
2006-09-11 07:27:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes this happens a lot. after reading your problem I asked myself if you are passionate about life. Is architecture what you really want to do in life? You got to ask yourself these questions. My guess too is that you are of a certain race/nationality that is predispositioned to this sort of behavior. If you were happier with your self you would not care so much about what others thought of you(yes even your parents) Because most parents would love to have a 21 yr old daughter studying architecture in college. If it is your appearence that you feel is lacking then I suggest paying a lot of money for a complete makeover, or move to the Northwest where the majority of people could care less about appearence.
2006-09-11 14:38:15 · answer #2 · answered by tripsnpig 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't even worry about it! My cousin and I are the same age, but my family compared me and her all the time. They compared us in school and when we got jobs. They thought that since my cousin had her mama and I lived with my Granny, that she had an advantage on me. But they were so wrong! When we got to high school, she went boy crazy! Dropped up in the 9th grade and had a baby, by a crack head. I continued on. Graduated. Went to college. Got married. Had a baby. I am a nurse at any Army Hospital. And now I have a happy life. So don't let others intimidate you. Let them motivate you. Let their comments, be your inspiration. Your inspiration to prove them wrong! Did I mention, that my cousin now has 3 kids ages 4,2,1 by TWO DIFFERENT FATHERS! The other father just got out of jail! So it looks like I came out on top. So just stick in there, and stop worrying about what other people think. I know that family should always have your best interest in mind, but sometimes they get blindsided. And don't realize that their words aren't encouraging, but hurtful. Just keep your head up, and stay focus on what you are trying to accomplish! Let your actions and accomplishments speak for itself.
2006-09-11 21:09:54 · answer #3 · answered by Ty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviousally, these family members are attacking you to keep you from knowing how screwed up they really are! DON'T BE A PEOPLE PLEASER! You will never find happiness doing this, it will only wake you insecure about yourself, and bitter as I see here. I suggest to you to get Joyce Meyer People pleaser audio CD, and hear her point of view, she has opened my eyes to why I always felt so bad all the time. Sounds like with your studies, she may have a harder time getting work in her field, and you will do better financially later on. What goes around comes around, and Your parents are too shallow to realize your great qualities, and maybe they don't even deserve the pleasure of learning from you. So take it with a grain of salt, and keep doing what you are doing. These people, even though they are suppose to help you, they may not realize what they are doing to you emotionally. So tell them how you feel, even if you think they won't like what you have to say. Back off, I am my own person and if you can't accept me for me and my gifts, then I don't need it. And you don't ( I have similar issues) Grow a back bone and stand up for yourself now, or it will be harder and harder to do in the future. Take care and may God Help you though this painfull time in your life as he has done the same for me. Thanks for your question
2006-09-11 14:36:53 · answer #4 · answered by spawanee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand what you're going through, all though my case isn't about that but similar. I only recommend that you keep you head up high, and don't let their comments bother you. It good that your cousin is doing well...and you should feel happy for her too. Some people get a great start and others have to work a bit harder, but don't worry just don't give up on your studies and work hard to accomplish your goals!!! So don't give up, don't let them put you down and stay focus in your goals. Good Luck
2006-09-11 14:43:42 · answer #5 · answered by Maria A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your useless sometimes we can't always get what we want. You are still young, you have a long life ahead of you. If you don't feel good about it so, get a job too. As to getting married so what if you don't get married. You don't have to marry just because people think you should. I never married and I'm not planning to do it either. Marriager to me is just a piece of paper. I've been living with my boyfriend for 19 yrs. now and we never gotten married and we don't plan too. We even have 4 children together. I think you're feeling bad about yourself, don't be. Tell your family to stop comparing you to her, she is she and you are you, and you do with your life what you want and it's nobody's business. Good Luck.
2006-09-11 14:41:25 · answer #6 · answered by prsweetheart34 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just don't listen to them. It's a bad idea to let people compare you to others. The only thing it will do is lower your self esteem. Why let them?
They may be proud of her, but that doesn't mean you can't do a great job. You are still young. And if you're still in school you have plenty of time to get married, so tell your parents fo get off your back. I don't intend to until I'm in my 30's. I hate the idea of tying myself down too soon.
2006-09-11 14:29:49 · answer #7 · answered by megan_of_the_swamp 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So what if you never get married. The world won't come to an end. OK your cousin is doing well...I don't see where anyone but yourself is comparing you to her. I suggest that you live your own life and stop trying to compete with your cousin, it's done you absolutely no good so far and yet you haven't learned from it. The reason your cousin is doing so well is probably that she is more mature than you. You are still being a competitive child and you need to grow up.
2006-09-11 14:29:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
hello,i am going to try to give u a little advice.i want u to know that if u are in the university doing something with your life you are already a winner in my books.your parents love you and they are doing the best they know how.unfortunately they are going about it the wrong way.do not be suprised that they were treated the same way by their parents.you are special keep on studing hard and inspite of all the negetive feed back from your loved ones,be confidentand forgive your parents.stay beautiful stay peaceful,the right guy is on the way.
2006-09-11 14:47:54 · answer #9 · answered by miraclehand2020 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard not to compare when everyone is praising her, but try your best to remember in life we are all individuals. Your achievements should be your personal satisfaction and you should try to find your own strengths and accomplishments. I am sure your family mean well and are unaware that they are making you feel bad. You can just mention by-the-way to the family that you and your cousins are on two different paths.
2006-09-11 15:58:18 · answer #10 · answered by DownAndOut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, don't think you are useless, because, first of all, you are here to enjoy your life, sharing love with others. Let your cousin be who she is and you, be who you are. What is to do well in life? certainly, not accomplishing what others accomplish, but accomplishing your own objectives. So, don't worry about anything and draw your attention to yourself. Take care of your business, do the best you can and be happy.
2006-09-11 15:17:13 · answer #11 · answered by Atanasia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋