What should I do?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 1/2 years, we are expecting our child in three weeks. I have been finding all kinds of girls in his yahoo address book and he tells me that he doesn't know why they keep popping up there. I have erased them 3 times and every now and then I'll check and see them there again. I don't know if I should believe him, I know names just don't pop up in mine. What should I do. Serious answers only please.

I am 21 years old, he is 23. We do live together. The reason I check is because when we first got together he cheated on me and was talking to a number of girls. I let it go thinking that it was a one time thing, but now that we are having a child together I worry about bringing her up in a home with nothing more than lies and cheating. I have been so good to him and it kills me. I just wish things were different now that there is a child involved.

Answer 1

He is lying to you.

Answer 2

First let me just say congratulations on your baby. To answer your question, I have found that most of the time if something seems wrong it probably is. You definitely have trust issues with him and it doesn't sound like he is doing anything to correct that especially if you are finding the same #s you erased. 1 1/2 yrs is not that long to be with someone and if you are already having problems things are not likely to get much better. I would suggest you consider trying to move on and keeping an amicable relationship for the sake of your child. If you want to make it work try couples therapy. Good Luck!

Answer 3

He may be lying only b/c if he tells you he's talking to other girls you may take it the wrong way and think somethings going on but you need to give him the benefit of the doubt you need to trust him or what kind of relationship have you got as you will always wonder if somethings going on if he talks to another woman. There's nothing wrong with men talking to other women, it may be completely harmless and in any case he's with YOU and you're about to have a child together and unless he is really stupid he would not do anything to jeopardise what he has with you, just give him a chance, i know lot's of men who chat to girls online but it doesn't mean anything, you could always try talking to him about it if it's upsetting you so much and tell him that you are just worried b/c you don't know who these women are, if he's a good guy then he'll reassure you that he loves you and let you in to what he talks about with these women. I hope it all works out for you, good luck!

Answer 4

i think that if you feel the need to keep checking up on your boyfriend ~ you two really aren't ready for the responsibility of a relationship and a family.

you don't say how old you are but i take it that you are both young. when boys are looking at fatherhood .. they freak out. my son did that at the age of 20. he obviously is not ready to settle down and be committed right now ... perhaps its best if you take some time apart.

do you live together? what is your situation?

no .. names do not just pop up in the Yahoo address book unless you are adding them to Messenger. it may be harmless chat .. but the fact that he's still putting his attention elsewhere would say that he's a) scared and b) not ready to fully be committed.

Answer 5

Names pop up when he's been chatting with them. He could be chatting just to chat (like I do, and I have a man and I am completely faithful, don't even cyber or anything), or he could be cheating. You should talk to him and say, "Hey it's obvious you've been chatting with other girls. But if you've been cheating, you need to tell me and if it's been strictly platonic, tell me." Let him know how it is and that you don't need him to raise your child, give him an ultimatum. If he says he's just chatting to chat, then trust him but ask him why he lied. If he's been cheating - DO NOT take him back because he WILL keep cheating. Good luck.

Answer 6

Sorry you're having a child by someone like that. Concentrate on having a healthy baby and not him because 9 times out of 10, he wont be around long, and if he is around, you life will be a living, lying hell.

From experience- I have 2 children young and doing it alone

Answer 7

I think that he knows why those girls keep coming up on his yahoo address book. I think that you should get rid of him becuase it sounds to me like he is going to cheat on you with one or more of them girls. I believe you can raise that baby by yourself, a lot of women do. Just get rid of him. You are right. They don't just pop up there. You have to put them there yourself. I hope everything works out ok. And even if it doesn't, just know that things will get better. You are in my thoughts.

Answer 8

It sounds to me like he's being a cheat. for you and the babys sake I pray this is not the case. If he is cheating you may have to move on,but this too will be difficult now that the two of you have this child on the way....I hope it all works out for you.

Answer 9

You better take control of that or your in for a LONG 18 years to raise this child!

Answer 10

You're asking a question that is obvious. He's cheating. It's not physical cheating, it's emotional ( I don't know which is worse). You should sit down and have a serious talk with him.

Answer 11

He may not be cheating on you, if that's what you're thinking. Yeah he has names, yeah he has to save them if they keep poping up but that don't mean anything. Think about it and be honest with you're self do you trust him and know he is faithful and loves you and all that, or do you think he is cheating on you. Only you can really decide.
NAMES DON'T MEAN ANYTHING