$ vs. Love?

Question

I have a boyfriend, been together for 4 yrs. $ was never our problem when the other matters were. Until recently, we had very indirect fights concerning $. He feels that he is paying 80% of our cost. We don't live together but meet everyday. I pay for our expense at times at I ever helped him setlled some small debts. I personally think that I support 40% of our expenses when he doesn't think so and of course doesn't appreciate. I was a bit harsh on my words this noon and he is hurt. He is treating very different now. I feel that he is trying to keep me far. Sulking, I guess. He said he will not use my $ anymore and will not borrow $ from me. And he won't control my spending. But he does it out of anger, not love. He is sulking and I think he is very petty. He has been. And now, he is ignoring me. What should I do? And, is it wrong of the guy to expect a lady to pay? This is a new issue to me. Unexpected. Need advice on this.

Answer 1

It sounds like manipulative behavior to me. Its not the woman or mans job to pay for things. Grown people can take care of themselves. You're not married or even living together, why would you be expected to pay his debts?

As for your expenses as a couple, it is traditionally the guy that pays for dates. If you want to treat sometimes thats nice but should not be expected by him. Until we live in a society where women get paid the same wage for the same job and are equally likely to recieve pay increases and promotions as men having the same qualifications I see no reason why we should be expected to start paying for dates, even 50%. Bad enough we are expected to do all the domestic work we ever did in addition to now paying a large chunk of the bills. Men expect entirely too much and if he is showing his *** this early in the game you may be in a lot of trouble later on.

Answer 2

After he's finished sulking and ignoring you, sit down together, get out the calculator and get clear about who is paying for what. Find out what his expectations are and tell him what yours are with regards to $. If all this is is about numbers, it's fairly easy to fix.

In dating, the individuals have to decide how the money thing is going to work because, let's face it, just about everything you do for fun is fairly expensive. What you want to avoid is if one person feels taken advantage of in this area. I have a friend whose dates always pay the tab and this is the way it works for her.

Answer 3

Obviously YOU didnt think $ was an issue in your relationship but he was thinking it. In today's world, I feel women should carry their equal share OR expect to be treated as a subordinate. We woman can not demand respect and to be treated equally and then resort to primitive ways...THIS is one of the reasons its hard for women to get the respect we have been demanding. When your boyfriend is done sulking you two need to sit and come up with a financial plan that makes sense is fair to the both of you.

Answer 4

It is totally wrong! NO self respecting guy will ever expect a woman to pay. I have been married 10 years and my husband pays for EVERYthing. The money I earn, which is a considerable amount, is MINE to do with as I see fit. He never expects it to go for bills, food, nothing, just whatever I want to do with it.

Answer 5

I have never been with a woman that was asked or even suggested she pay for anything. but then money has never been an issue with me. sure they bought me gifts with their money but as far as doing stuff I still believe the man should foot this himself. money issues is the number one cause of break-ups with sex hang-ups running a close second.