Guys... If..?

Question

you have a girlfriend and you two have been together (living) for 2 years. you go away for a couple days for work.
your girlfriend has her best friend over (a guy) but they have known eachother for years and he stays the night (in a different room) you come home early that morning and see him there. What do you do?
my boyfriend freaked... but i dont get it... he knows nothing would ever ever happen..

Answer 1

I agree with boyfriend, no man should be there when he is not there.

Answer 2

For some reason I believe you, but I'm not sure why. I also somehow get the sense that you are a really super excellent girlfriend, aside from this little mistake you've made.

You see, if I am right about you then your boyfriend probably knows it too and is scared to death of losing you. Having your guy friend over to stay the night is a major risk because it makes him think about how he would feel if you wanted someone else more than him. The only thing that bothers me is this: why do you fail to see how this can terrify a guy so deeply?
You obviously expect him to be understanding and trusting, and this is sincerely a good thing because it indicates that you are probably understanding and trusting yourself. That's why you are expecting him to return your faith.
There's a chance that his lack of faith is not related to your actions. Someone else may have cheated on him in the past. Any small doubts that he may have had before are now growing a little stronger and he probably doesn't know what to do about it.

There's nothing he CAN do right now to ease the pain in his heart caused by his fears, because the ball is now squarely in your court. You need to let him know that he is the only one for you, and that you will try as hard as you can to not do anything that he considers to be morally wrong or a serious risk to your relationship. This is a form of respect that should work both ways, not just for you. It would be bad if he got carried away with this and started getting overly controlling, so keep it within reasonable limits - which means to let him know if you think he is asking too much of you that you are not willing to provide.

The only other alternative I can see is to find someone who is really super exceptionally tolerant and/or trusting, but if you love him, then you know this is not an option.

Answer 3

I can see your point and it should be all about trust and your right it should be. but it is also about being open and honest. Your boyfriend should have been asked no doubt because it is just what should be done. He is your man your lover your mate and your living together. For decades woman wanted to be treated as equals so where was your boyfriends equal say in who comes and sleeps there.
Do you trust him if the tables were turned and be honest you come home some other woman is there. How would you react.
Some men would freak some would act and some would react but honestly how understanding does a man need to be when he was never told and happens in on finding out that way.

Answer 4

Why have you been living together for two years? Are you getting married? Where is this going?

Yeah - that is almost totally unacceptable. If I brought my best friend from work - an extremely attractive woman - home and let her sleep over while my wife was away - no way - you just don't do that.

But if you guys are just playing around and aren't really serious about the relationship, then it doesn't really matter what you do, as long as it's fun.

If it isn't fun - why are you there?

FP

Answer 5

I know how ya feel, my best friend is a guy too... My bf & I broke up a couple weeks ago, (not because of that)but, he was always giving me grief...Always...

I guess its insecurity, guys see it as a possible threat. Actually, some people do end up with their best friend, its been proven over & over. Not that I could see myself with mine, but, its funny, other friends tell me we would make a cute couple...

If you are really into your bf, you just gotta set some boundaries, and I dont think over nighters are a good idea, if roles were reversed you'd freak a bit too, I know I would.

Answer 6

First guys hate when you can't drop an old flame. Just ******* lose him. What women don't seem to understand is, he's not your friend, he wants to FVCK YOU.

Do you think this dude would stay over if your boyfriend had been there? HELL NO

He was hoping with your boyfriend away he could FVCK YOU.

Your boyfriend has every reason to be pissed off. You allow another man to stay over in his place when hes gone.(I guessing he wasn't informed at all) PLUS his girlfriend is an idiot cause she can't see through her "guy friend."

Sorry to be so harsh, but from your question you clearly don't get it.

Answer 7

Well I probably would freak unless my gf told me in advance. Think about that you come home and someone else is there and you have no idea they were even there. Especially if you don't know them. As far as freaking cause he is a guy I would not for that reason. If I can't trust her with that then she is out permanently.

Answer 8

well hopefully he trusts you otherwise I think your screwed. Not a good thing,,,has this person ever stayed there before when he was there if not.....the jury can find it disturbing.....
all i can say is what where you thinking and why would you screw up something for nothing get it. Nothing may not of happened but put yourself in his shoes. You walk in and voila.......I can just imagine your expression on your face.......food for thought start begging big time

Answer 9

Reverse it, if you were out of town for a couple days and come to find another women asleep in your guest room, how understanding would you be? If you say it wouldn't bother you, either you're lying or you don't care about your relationship.

Answer 10

Sure, nothing is going to happen. Have you read the bible? Eve had all kinds of stuff to eat but she just had to go and ruin everything by eating the one thing she was not supposed to. You will sleep with that dude, I promise you. And your boyfriend is crazy if he lets you keep hanging with your "friend".

Answer 11

What is wrong with you? Your boyfriend must be hard up to stick around after that one.