Ok, I was in this for the most part purely sexual relationship - at first I was totally cool with it, then he started with the getting to know each other thing and seeing me everyday and ok I'm human (maybe female is more appropriate) and I fell in love. Well I guess he didn't or something better came along or whatever else is the reason he just stopped coming around for anything (talking, hanging out, sex).
Well he lives so close I can smell what he's cooking for dinner, so I have this tendency to run into him (not on purpose). Well I have told him in the past that I enjoy being with him, I wish I had not.
How do I learn to not look at him like I want to jump him.
How do I learn not to be completely hurt by the fact that he doesn't want me?
I have tried acting bitchy
I have tried not even acknowledging him
Am I so bothered, because it doesn't seem to bother him?
What else can I do???
2006-09-11 06:55:16 · 22 answers · asked by not_in_it_4_love 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honey these feelings will diminish over time. I have been there. I fell in love with someone I met on the internet and she broke my heart as she was with other men as well as she was with me.
Yet I know if she were to walk up to me and say here I am, we probably would be in bed the next minute.
Don't ever stop being warm hearted because the minute you stop you are turning yourself off to the possibility of having a fulfilling relationship in the future.
2006-09-11 07:00:14 · answer #1 · answered by mikeae 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are not alone with this one. Although, I'm sure it feels like it. I am no expert. I am still single, but this is my choice. I just say it like this because I seem to keep running into the same problems with different people. And it hurts like hell. I think there is no way around it. I need to feel the pain. I need to work out my issues. And I need to keep working through these problems with people. Especially, the close ones, family and friends. But I like forgiving people. After all the hurt is worked through or even when I am ready or need to do it. All I know is that we all pretty much feel the same way. And we all find a way through the old or ex relationship stuff. I hope you feel better soon. You sound like the winner here. Hopefully, you will find someone you want and visa verse. Take it easy.
2006-09-11 07:06:15 · answer #2 · answered by mike t 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man wants what he cant have. You know the feeling. Go out with someone else. Have fun. Avoid this guy but dont make it look like your avoiding him or he will still think you have feelings for him. Hes a loser any how. He wanted something better, however better doesn't make it the best. Guys just want sex most times and If you hold off maybe one might appear to be prince charming.
2006-09-11 06:59:53 · answer #3 · answered by girl176a1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to think of one thing that is really horrible about this guy you think is so great. Maybe that will deter you from wanting to be around him all the time. Other than that I don't really know what to suggest. Its hard to start a "relationship" based on sex because in the end, someone gets attached and heartbroken. I'm sorry hon! That's just the way it usually goes. Good luck :)
2006-09-11 07:00:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys can get dumped too so I kinda know how you are feeling. And probably nothing is going to work. If he doesn't care he doesn't care. What worked for me is meeting new people. It's hard but it worked. I met, who I beleive is the girl of my dreams and life is good. But I had to stop focusing on what could I do to make the ex pay attention to me and start focusing on other things. Feel good about yourself. Be good to yourself and even if the sex was good for awhile remember there are other fish in the sea. Look around and find someone who will treat you as good as you treat them. I'd wish you luck but I'm sure you want need it.
2006-09-11 07:07:53 · answer #5 · answered by tcovelk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, don't learn how to be cold-hearted.
I won't waste your time relating to any tales of friends of mine, or my own experiences - but I can tell you from them, first hand, that a cold heart becomes increasingly harder to thaw over time.
I understand where you're coming from in that situation - what was once a physical manifest of emotion has become something more heartfelt, and it's hard to have those feelings without having them returned; but some people just don't seem to want to spend time playing the love game.
Chances are, you are bothered because it doesn't seem to bother him - and there's no real way that I can tell you not to be hurt by his lack of feelings for you.
My best advice would be to take your time with it, and slowly let it out of your system. Time does heal all wounds, albeit, it tends to take more time than you're willing to spend. Always remember, also, that there are more men out there who I'm sure would be more than happy to reciprocate your feelings for you - but above all, you've got to rely on your fortitude and patience to carry you through the time required to cross that bridge.
It'll be alright, I promise. Just don't let yourself fall down into a hole that you won't be able to dig yourself out of - and don't let yourself become apathetic to what happened; because whether you want it to or not, that apathy tends to carry over into other aspects of your life - and though it might grant you a few hours serenity and escape from your problems, the long term affects of your self-applied apathy really aren't worth it.
2006-09-11 07:02:25 · answer #6 · answered by Nix . 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right. You are bothered because he is so casual about it. Girl you have a lot to give and receive. Get over him and move on. Don't become cold hearted or bitchy. Just be you, and realize that most just sex relationships, do not work. Some one usually gets hurt. Find some one who you can share all of you with.
2006-09-11 07:00:40 · answer #7 · answered by Kali_girl825 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be strong!!...It may take some time to get over it...BUT you have to get over it...you dont want to play yourself and you dont want to make a fool of yourself. TRY not to see him and if you do...say hi and bye and be OUT!!! You can NOT learn to be cold-hearted...Its an asset that I am most proud of...but I am a master at it and can turn it up and down and on and off. Its not for everyone...but it works for me....especially when provoked. Forget about all you told him and did with him and just move on with your life, and learn the lesson here.
2006-09-11 07:00:06 · answer #8 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to get over a man is to get under another one
2006-09-11 07:14:20 · answer #9 · answered by AC12345 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can confuse him, be his bud and pal around show him that it was just sex, even thogh it was more to you. He might come around or just stop talking to you that way you don't have to be cold hearted. You could also get a real boyfriend who want's to be with you...
2006-09-11 06:58:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋