i am in love with a guy for 2 yrs, we r in 2 different countries. we met by chat. we r planning to get married, i know he loves me alot. however, he just told me that in our 2nd yr together, he had sex with a girl 10 times. he said he knew its wrong and he hates himself for it, he says he feels he needs to do sex and see porn. he said he wont do it again and didnt do it after that
am sure he loves me and we r planning 4 our marriage. he told me to decide whatever i want regarding our relationship.he feels bad about it and didnt tell me coz he didnt want to hurt me.
What should i do?
2006-09-11
06:47:11
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33 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Singles & Dating
i cant leave him!! i love him so much. i feel i can forgive him. i'd die without him
2006-09-11
06:53:45 ·
update #1
I would think to myself If he did it again after we are married will I be able to handle this again and get past it? That is what may happen if you stay with him...but it may not you just need to make sure that you can handle it if it does. I consider this a warning sign, how you deal with the information is up to you, some women don't take cheating extremely serious and will stay with a partner and work it out, while others hit the road and never look back, it's all up to you, just don't pretend that it never happened and be on the look out in the future.
2006-09-11 06:53:12
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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Wow...he didn't just cheat one you once..but 10 times! And you are still planning on marrying him? I am always amazed how blind women are in a relationship. Dear, if the guy TRULY loved you, he would not have cheated on you even once...and he's admitted to cheating 10 times. He says he needs to do sex and see porn but won't do it again. Do you honestly think you would be able to trust him completely once you are married?
A long distance romance is difficult at best. Have you two actually met...and if so, how long have you actually spent with him? Don't make the mistake of thinking infatuation is actually love.
You say he told you to decide whatever you want regarding your relationship. That certainly won't work. A healthy relationship is about two people working together. If he is already predisposed to viewing porn and being with other women,it won't take long before he reverts back to being that way regardless of what YOU want.
My advice is to let the guy go and try meeting other guys in your area you can have a more conventional relationship with.
Best of luck to you!
2006-09-11 07:08:44
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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Hold off on getting married, set some very clear cut expectations of him and then wait and see if he meets them. Living in different countries is wild and one has to really trust.
I know a guy that went on the next and got hold of a young woman from Russia, even did what was necessary to get her a visa and sent her money to come visit him for a week.
What he didn't do was ask his Wife if it was OK, and she found out and she wrote the young woman, about what was going on, she then reported the situation to the Moscow embassy and that was that. However, the man, the HUSBAND had to pay the on line mate hook up 800 dollars.
Just be very very careful, this man maybe very nice and actually who he says he is,,,,,but then he can be like my friend, a complete jerk.
Good luck.
2006-09-11 06:54:50
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answer #3
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answered by kickinupfunf 6
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Lose him. He not only cheated on you but had to do it 10 times. He is a royal jerk. No one needs to do sex and see porn although it is a strong desire for many. If he does not think you are worth waiting for tell him to find someone he does not have to wait for. As for you if you marry this guy he will be on the Internet watching porn and then expecting you to fulfill his needs that he did not get from you but from the porn. Now does that sound like a good relationship to you.
2006-09-11 06:51:52
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answer #4
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answered by jusme 5
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If you are in different countries he is only going to tell you what he thinks you want to hear. Be serious. No matter what he says you will never really know if it is the truth. Girl please if he did it 10 times do you really believe that he will all of a sudden just stop doing it? This other girl is there everyday and your not. He has to get it from someone and since you cant give it to him where do you think he is getting it? Dont play yourself or let him play you.
2006-09-11 07:27:32
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answer #5
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answered by Sasha 1
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You need to have sex with him 11 times before you get married. You need to beat out that other girl just so you know you have the record. Oral sex does count no matter what Clinton says.
2006-09-11 06:52:59
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answer #6
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answered by Brian M 4
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you have merely been the sufferer of the oldest trick interior the e book. he became in hassle-free terms high quality to you via fact he had to nail you and now he has, he has not greater use for you. considering which you used a condom i don't assume you're pregnant the intercourse wasn't 'short' - it became longer than maximum adult males final he's appearing like this considering which you have fulfilled your objective if it in hassle-free terms went a million/2 way in you weren't lubricated sufficient. so he became a rubbish lover besides. he's recommend via fact he's an a s s. the subsequent time you have intercourse, make sure the guy quite cares first.
2016-10-14 21:23:32
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answer #7
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answered by ? 2
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If you 2 are in 2 different countries he is still cheating because he likes sex to much.spend time with him before making wedding plans.
2006-09-11 06:50:11
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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Don't marry him unless you want him cheating on you during the marriage too. He's obviously trying to get your permission for his running around and expects you to just accept it as a personality quirk. Dump him and don't look back.
2006-09-11 06:50:05
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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He is unfaithful to you and your considering still getting married. IF that is truly what you want you need to do alot of talking. And you need to heal. And it is a long distance relationship? How do you know what he is doing? You only Know what your being told. I think you two need to talk ALOT and you need to take time to heal from the pain he has INTENTIONALLY caused you.
2006-09-11 06:50:40
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answer #10
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answered by loladoreen 3
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