I have known & loved this man for over 20 years. We dated off and on, but in the past 6 years we have dated exclusively (so I thought)
we broke up for 8 mths because I found out he was seeing another woman. We recently got back together but he failed to let the girl he was seeing while we were apart know that we had hooked up again, he thought since he wasn't spending anytime with her she would just go away.She didn't. She called me inquiring about her man!! Imajine that. I explained to her that we had split up and just recently started seeing each other again and I am not going anywhere. I love this man but he drives me crazy with his unfaithfulness.Why is it so hard for men to be honest?? More importantly why is it so hard for me to let him go?? Why do I allow him to keep doing this too me??
2006-09-11 06:39:53 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You love him and that is that. Love makes you crazy and makes you do crazy things. No matter what he does you will always take him back. Alot of people are going to tell you to leave him alone but that is easier said than done. You have 20 years with this man, I am sure out of those twenty years you weren't completely faithful either...when you love some one and they keep cheating on you...you end up doing it too...(but usually the man doesn't find out) but anyways you love him...that is why you let him do what he does....just do it back...what is good for the goose is good for the gander..and let him find out...maybe if it is in his FACE like it has been in yours...he might get hurt and stop...if not...then at least he will get away from you so you can at least have a chance to a healthy relationship with someone else.
2006-09-11 06:48:38 · answer #1 · answered by kikosgirl83 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it was back in Greek times when 'love' was considered a form of sickness and mild insanity. When you are 'in love' it is impossible to make a rational decision. Unfortunately, if you want to take a really good and hard look at your relationship you have to get past your emotions, which aren't serving you.
Ask yourself the questions - what do I want out of a relationship? Well, if you want a man that you cannot trust to be faithful to you, and if he lies about that I'm sure he's lying about something else you haven't caught him at yet, then it sounds like you've found the right man for you.
If, on the other hand, you want a man you can trust to be faithful to you, to love you unconditionally, to not feel the need to cheat, then you need to move on and get someone that fits that bill.
Love is no reason to be with someone in a long-term or marriage relationship - sorry - that sounds crazy but it's true - after 18 years, that passion, that crazy out of control emotional love - LOVE - that you feel for the first few months/years fades - but if you've gotten past LOVE - or the wild emotion of being in love - then you have the foundation for a very long and happy marriage.
FP
2006-09-11 06:47:35 · answer #2 · answered by F. Perdurabo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all men are unfaithful...Remember, we treat people how to treat us. You have allowed this man to treat you this way, and you must put a stop to it. You deserve to be treated with respect and honesty, and you shouldn't settle for less. Show some self-respect, or nobody else is going to show any respect to you. If your boyfriend loved you the way you love him, he would never want to risk loosing you. You only cheat on someone you are willing to risk, once you truly find that special someone that you fall in love with, you are no longer willing to risk loosing that person. I've cheated on every boyfriend I've ever had, until I met my husband.I knew that I had met the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and I was not ever going to risk loosing him. Once you either just know you've found the right person, or you have a ring on your finger, then cheating is out of the question, until then you're just dating and still looking for the right man. He is not the right man for you, otherwise he would not treat you the way he does. Leave this relationship behind, and move on and take your self-respect with you. You will always love him, but not all loves are good for us. This love is not a healthy love, so move on and give yourself a chance to find a good healthy relationship so you can once again feel good about yourself and be happy.
2006-09-11 06:54:10 · answer #3 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why have you wasted 20 years and have nothing to show for it. You could have had a stable satisfying life by now with a loving husband and family. Nonethless, the past is the past, go for a fresh start and don't waste anymore precious time with a relationship that shows no promise and is unpredictable
2006-09-11 06:45:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy wants his cake and eat it too. Ergo, he has to be dishonest (with himself for starters) and never really know where he is at, what he has, and how he feels. You have invested a lot of time, love, and heartache with this guy. That's why it is hard for you to let him go. If you don't, you will continue down the road of emotional suicide. As to why to allow him to keep doing this to you has to do with how you see yourself. Your self-worth and integrity are taking big hits by your hanging around and you need to start healing yourself.
2006-09-11 06:49:33 · answer #5 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just so familiar; you keep on going back to him because of that, even if you don't want to. Also, because of his bad past, subconsciously you probably feel that you can change him for the better, when that would happen he would be the perfect boyfriend.
2006-09-11 06:42:45 · answer #6 · answered by flyboop_2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to know if you wanna be with him. And more importantly he needs to know that if he's with you then he is only with you. Don't take him back unless he has totally cut the ties with his other relationship.
2006-09-11 06:49:52 · answer #7 · answered by Piper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are obviously insecure. You should not allow anyone to treat you like this. You need to run from him and FAST
2006-09-11 06:42:48 · answer #8 · answered by loladoreen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are other men out there.he's a loser.let him go be with the other woman.once a cheater is always a cheater.
2006-09-11 06:43:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why? do you like the pain of it?
tea bag me?
2006-09-11 06:43:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋