Why do SAHM's feel that their job is so much harder than any job in the world? It just irritates me to no end. I drive an hour to work, work 8-9 hours, drive another hour home. When I get home I have to deal with a mess that my father in law leaves there, or pick my child up from daycare (2 days a week), cook dinner, clean up after dinner, clean up the house (toys, crumbs on the kitchen floor...etc...) and end up spending about an hour or two a night with my child. My weekends are also booked with cleaning (scrubbing floors, dusting, sweeping, laundry)....I just can't stand SAHM's who think their "Home" job is so difficult - try working 40-50 hours a week, with 10 hours of driving a week....cooking and cleaning every day and hardly spending time with your child! I think SAHM's take advantage of their situations too. I think your husband doesn't respect you as much when you stay at home. I have the fullest respect from my husband by being a full time working mom and wife.
2006-09-11 06:32:51 · 21 answers · asked by jevic 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I am right there with you sister. I am so SICK and TIRED of being put down because I HAVE to work. I was a SAHM for two and a half years. YES, the job is hard. You are taken for granted and your children drive you crazy sometimes....but that doesn't make your job and harder than a working full time Mother either. I had to go back to work to support my children. I would love to be at home with my children. Do you SAHM think it is easy to be away from your children for 8,9 or even 10 hours a day? SAHM act like working Mothers are evil women for working. Well not everyone is finiacially able to stay home. I love my children deeply, and it is THAT love for my children that pushes me to better their lives by working. I really feel that this JOB is harder than staying at home. I am up at 5:30am, I don't get home till 5. I have to cook and still do everything I did when I stayed at home. Now I just have less time to do it. Please respect a Mother's decision to work. Don't treat people with such contempt.
2006-09-11 08:09:32 · answer #1 · answered by Summer H 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You know why it's harder....because you are raising the next generation. Forgive me but there is no job that is more important than that. You don't get bonuses or raises. You spend all day cleaning one mess up after another. I have had jobs that I would not have been able to stay afloat of I had not been a fantastic multitasker and I can say that being a SAHM it truly challenges my multitasking abilities. So at the end of an exhausting day, I have no paycheck, I'm not working towards that bonus or raise and there is no one to tell me I've done a good job. Why did I leave my career for just a few years because there is no job that is more important than raising the next generation. By the way, my husband has complete respect for me, he sees what I do and appreciates the fact that I have put my career aside so that our child can be ours not someone else's in a daycare. I call him when she does something cute or when hits a milestone.
Why do I complain at times. I'm doing the same job 24/7 and it's exhausting. I'm not around a lot of adults and I don't get a break. Once my daughter is napping it's time to vacuum, dust, dishes, you name it. I don't get a coffee break. Try it and I'm sure you would change your tune.
2006-09-11 07:05:39 · answer #2 · answered by 10 pts for me? 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
As a stay-at-home mom. I would say the answer to your question is because we don't really get a break from our kids or homes. It's more of an emotional and mental trying job, then being actually physically harder. I think a lot of stay-at-home moms would love to be able to go to work every day because it would be something different and give them a chance to get away. But we feel it is our obligation to be there with our children and raise them ourselves instead of leaving them at a daycare. I think working full-time and being a full-time mom is the equivalent of 2 full time jobs, which is definitely more physically trying. Opposed to the 1 full time job a stay-at-home mom has. They are both hard. I guess it just seems like getting a break from the kids and having some variation in your day would be a little easier. I guess no one has the right to judge until they have tried both, which I haven't. So more power to you!
2006-09-11 06:59:11 · answer #3 · answered by mommyem 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I was a sahm until both of my girls entered school. I have seen both sides of what you are arguing, and I have to agree with both sides. Just because sahm's don't work outside of the home does not mean their jobs are less demanding. Unlike the working mom, sahm's don't get vacation time, lunch break, etc. etc. Neither job is less rewarding, it is all in how you look at it. Sure, times were harder when it was only my husband who was working when our girls were younger, but that was a choice we decided to make. Daycare costs...... sometimes it is not profitable to work and place your children in daycare. The pro's outweigh the con's in both situations. As for respect, there was no love or respect loss between my husband and me when I didn't work. When I was stationed in Germany, he was the one who didn't work. He thanked me each and every day because the of the "routines" he had to go through on a daily basis. (I say routines because it was definitely an adjustment period for him, something only I had down pat.) I truly believe that you are being too hard on sahm's, especially if you haven't walked a day in their shoes.
2006-09-11 07:41:16 · answer #4 · answered by proud mom of 2 girls 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think sahm's is also a hard job, however not as stressful as having to be a full time working mother.
I wish i could stay home.. my son is now 5 years, but i wish i could get him ready in the morning, take him to school and pick him up from school. I am now 3 months pregnant with my 2nd child.. i also drive between 1 to 1 1/2 hours to work everyday and still come home to do more work.. it's is very stressful.. I keep praying to God that my husband's business will boost very well so i can stay home.. I know a few sahm's that totally take advantage of the situation, and it just pisses me off!! the husbands work, when he comes home, she doesn't have the house picked up nevertheless dinner prepared for him!! and to top it off, she is asking for a luxury car... whatever... but some people have it so easy.. so i know where you are coming from.. :(
2006-09-11 06:59:52 · answer #5 · answered by green eyes 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Would you like to know something that irritates me? Moms (SAHM and working moms, alike) who create ill-will where there really should be none.
I am blessed to be able to be a homemaker, a stay-at-home wife and mother. And yes, I believe that I put in a long day and I am usually exhausted by the time my head hits the pillow at night. But I would never say that my life is more taxing than yours is, I would never say that I work harder or longer or do more than you. I don't know you and I wouldn't make that generalization about your life.
This is me... this is my life. This is the life that, I believe, I was meant to lead. Before we even met in person, my husband and I had already talked about how we believe that men and women should interact. This is how we believe we should be. This isn't your decision and that's ok.
Now, granted, I don't understand why a two-parent household would choose to have both parents working rather than have one stay home and tend the children, and that's something that, I think, I probably won't ever understand. But I'm not going to berate you for your decision.
Not all stay-at-home-moms or housewives are like the ones of which you speak. We don't all believe that it's a matter of you vs. us. At least some of us, and I would hope most of us, believe that it is your decision and that you are doing what you feel is best for your family.
Oh, as for respect... my husband treats me as his equal. Our relationship may have different dynamics than yours, but I do have his respect. This is what he wants for his family... a wife and a mother for his children who stays home and tends to the family that way. Our family is happy and well rounded, and that is what matters to us.
2006-09-11 06:47:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
Because mom's that work out of the home take a "vacation" from their kids, when you go to work. I think it is sad that you only have an hour or two with your children. And it sounds like, you don't spend anytime on weekends with your kids at all. I spend 24/7 with my son. My house is always clean, Dinner is ready when my husband comes home. I don't get "breaks" in my day. I never can go to the bathroom alone, or shower alone. He is always at my feet. And you know what I love it! It is the hardest job in the world. You will never get to really "know" your kids because you never spend any real time with them. You drop them off at daycare or school and then take your 8-10 hour "vacation" from them every day. Pick them up and eat dinner, play for an hour or so and then put them to bed. Is that really fair to the kids??? My husband works very hard so that I can stay home with our son ( we have another one on the way in late Jan.) I am a very lucky woman to be able to stay at home and be with my child 24/7. If you are so upset get your husband to work 2 jobs and say at home with your kids. Kids are better off if at least 1 parent is at home at all times!
PS: I did work when my son was born & I took him to work with me every day. He has never left my side.
2006-09-11 09:48:03 · answer #7 · answered by LITTLE 1 :o) 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Well said. Another thing that is irritating is that we HAVE to work and it seems the SAHM's think we are all bad moms because we do work. Ive seen comments like "home with the kids is where the mom needs to be" well if I didnt work there would be no home for either the parents or our kids. I do feel your pain and get extrememly frustrated by this as well and at time I feel guilty because I am not a stay at home mom. I love my kids more than anything.
I do commend those that do stay home and also commend those of us who work. Being a parent is a hard thing but working and being a parent is also extremely hard. I dont think one is a bad parent either way, but yes its very frustrating when we are made out to be bad parents because we dont stay home.
2006-09-11 06:40:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Some mothers just feel that way. Who are you to say that a stay at home mothers job is less hard than what you do as a working mother? Do you think it's good that you spend an hour or two with your child everyday?
I am a stay at home mother, but I don't act as though my job is harder or better than anyone else's. To each his own. It's that simple.
2006-09-11 06:38:15 · answer #9 · answered by makeitclap23 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
if you spend all day with your kids you will see why a sahm thinks there job is so much hard. during the day you are not there when your child crys or is hungry or mad you dont know every little habit you child has because you are not around them and because daycare is raising your child they can pick up habit and way from someone else out side your family. sahm job is to take care of the house and teach their child unlike us working moms.
2006-09-11 06:40:30 · answer #10 · answered by besos 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋