My cousin recently passed away at a young age, an she has a 16 yr old daughter that I took in with no questions asked, because I knew that was the right thing to do, well she's been with me for two months now , she's very smart but at the same note she street smart and she likes to hang out to@ all times of the night,and I have talked to her about it but it seens to go in one ear and out the other, so what should I do? I love and don't want the state to get her , but she is not repecting me, my home and my 10 yr old daugher, I don't want my daughter , to grow up and think it's okay to hang out like that. ...so what should I do? any sugestion
2006-09-11 06:04:50 · 7 answers · asked by alh 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You sit her down and have a little heart to heart talk, just like you would do with your daughter. I also have a daughter that just turned eleven, and we've had to have a few heart to heart talks. You need to tell her that you love her and have opened up your home to her, but there are rules in your home, and because she is a part of your family she too must obey the house rules. Explain that your family goes to bed at 10:00 or whatever time her curfew is, and that everybody has to be home by that time out of respect for the other family members. Tell her that she is expected to be in the house by______(whatever time), or she will not be allowed to go anywhere for a while. After a few times of being restricted to go out, she'll get the hint that she had better follow your rules, like them or not. She is still a child until the age of 18, and all children need rules and boundaries, along with a lot of love. She is very lucky to have you in her life. I believe that grounding/restriction works well up until they are out of highschool. All children have something they value, and for teens the thing they seem to value most, is their time with their friends. Taking away what they value most is your best weapon against disrespecting you and your family. Use it wisely, be consistant....children need to know that they can count on your consequence with 100% accuracy. Be sure to follow your discipline with a big hug, and a little reassurance that you are glad she is living with you, because you love her.
2006-09-11 06:30:17 · answer #1 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her options, follow the rules or go live with another relative and when they get tired of you and you have ran out of relatives you will be on your own. Tell her no one will tolerated disrespect for long. Explain to her you understand her traumatic loss but you are doing thr best you can and you want the best for her and it is not in the street.
2006-09-11 06:44:02 · answer #2 · answered by mother5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit her down and tell her you dont want her to go to the state , but if she keeps it up she will have to , and tell her how horrible it is to live with some foster parents . Also if there is a social worker involved they could probably talk to her too . But remember your daughter comes first , and if she is being disrespectful to her , you need to end it quick.
2006-09-11 06:27:07 · answer #3 · answered by MAMACITA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set down rules and if she breaks them take away her privileges. If that doesnt work try to get her some counseling to see if her mothers death is the reason for her rebelling. Send her with another family member if all else fails.
2006-09-11 06:18:04 · answer #4 · answered by superbad~honeydip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put your foot down. Your house; your rules. If she doesn't like then ship her off to another relative. Your first obligation is to your own kids.
2006-09-11 06:09:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and have a heart to heart with her. Try to explain your concerns to her. Try and reach a compromise.
2006-09-11 06:10:57 · answer #6 · answered by Rance D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a little strict. make her to understand that she mustn't do whatever she likes at ur home ater all it's ur home.
2006-09-11 06:12:29 · answer #7 · answered by anks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋