We had a wonderful full-time nanny that was taking care of our daughter beautifully, but she traveled and we hired a new Nanny. Immediately after the old nanny left, my daughter started manifesting aggressiveness, she started peeing in her bed during the night (which she didn’t use to), she refuses to sleep with the lights off and she often gets furious, completely hysterical; and she’s just three years old!
I don't know whether she's become like that because she misses her first nanny or because the new nanny is abusive with her. Please tell me what you think and if you believe that the new nanny might be abusing her in any way. Any hint on how I should confront her? I really don’t know what to do.
2006-09-11 06:00:30 · 19 answers · asked by Electra 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Although my daughter is 3 year old, she still can't talk because we are trilingual at home and she's still mixed up. Secondly, the old nanny has already been fired, all I want is to know if my daughter has been abused or not and how to deal with it.
2006-09-11 06:20:47 · update #1
A three year old does have tantrums and can be very naughty ,
( the terrible threes) she is trying to find out , just how far she is able to assert herself . That is normal.
However;.
Losing her Nanny, is a horrendous ,devastating thing to happen , for she is too young to understand why .
So she is showing severe signs, of Loss , grief and confusion,.
you are her Mom ,but she was with her original nanny ,for most of the time, so she has lost her "mom" ,in effect ,
this makes her doubly insecure .
I wish there were some way ,that you could give all your time to her , that would be the ideal thing to happen .
She is not a bad child, but a very upset little girl .
She does not need to be "confronted ",
but COMFORTED
Just given loads of loving patient understanding .
The bed wetting is a sign of attention seeking .
Don't ever scold her , that is unkind and will make matters worse .
Ignore and just change the wet bed
, and remember, to praise her, when she has
a lovely dry bed in the morning .!
I do not know whether your new nanny,
is very experienced in child care .
I hope so --
- for she will need a lot of patience and forbearance, to get this little girl all happy again .
IT will not happen overnight
I hope this has helped a little bit .
It is obviously very worrying for you .
hugs
2006-09-11 06:36:40 · answer #1 · answered by sweet-cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try talking to your daughter when she is acting in such a manner.... Ask her simple ?'s that a 3 year old can understand... Why are you angry? Why did you just throw that pillow??? Ask her why she wants the lights on when she goes to bed? Some of the fit's might just be a "stage" she is going through. Many toddler's do go through similar stages, and it all depends on how the parents and the nanny react to those fits as to whether or not the behavior will change... Confront your child before confronting the nanny... If the nanny is abusing your child, you will get more from your childs answers than you will get by confronting the nanny.... Without any sort of "proof" all the nanny has to do is lie about it, and move on and possibly hurt someone else's child.. (if that is the case)
2006-09-11 06:15:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe a mother should look after her child. Whats more important money or your child. Kids get used to someone's care all the time. When the first nanny left your daughter probably missed her tremendously. So then someone else steps in thats probably totally different. You should go with your gut feeling. If you think there is a possibility of abuse, don't you think you should get rid of the nanny? Hello!!! What are waiting for. Some stranger to tell you how to raise your kids??
2006-09-11 06:07:03 · answer #3 · answered by deborah_012003 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
videotape the nanny, i don't know why more parents don't do this, and even if the nanny finds out you have every right to know what is going on.
She might be really heartbroken about the other nanny leaving. It actually sounds pretty normal reaction, expecially if the new nanny isn't nice, fun, loving, friendly, interactive, or is too strict, etc.
Maybe it was too sudden and drastic of a change. Talk to her, ask your daughter questions, she can answer a lot and you will be surprised at her answers, BUT I would not take all seriously without further investigation. If I ask my son if so and so hit him, he just says yes but it's not true so be careful not to believe everything without other facts to support it.
2006-09-11 06:07:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could also be that your daughter is difficult with the new nanny since she loved the old nanny and is upset that she left. Maybe the new nanny is upset at her behavior and isn't doing the best job of dealing with it.
2006-09-11 06:08:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nip this in the bud. The answers lie with your child. I suggest you get a highly recommended child psych. If you suspect problems with the new nanny, get one of the handy dandy "nanny-cams." There are many security companies that can set up hidden cameras to tape their every interaction. Do not accuse before you have any proof. I think your child is showing abandonment issues.
2006-09-11 06:17:15 · answer #6 · answered by Mars 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just add a camera in a secret place to see what's happening.check out your daughter's body for signs of abusion.But even if the nanny isnt abusive with your kid,U MUST HIRE A NEW NANNY...kids have instinct
2006-09-11 06:06:09 · answer #7 · answered by depi l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first thing I would check out Nanny's record there something she not telling! then if not then find out how does Nanny do with your daughter and get hidden video sometime something you don't like to see or umm if not show anything what nanny doing then it could be yeah missing old nanny.
How did you check back ground with old Nanny and how did you do with new Nanny? did you do both like normal you always do? maybe she lying with her name and asked her to show you birth cert. to make sure it true and if true then son't know what else but think she missed old Nanny and Call Old Nanny find out what does she do and why she acting like htat. find out to make sure. maybe Old Nanny can help you more how to find more information about new Nanny.
2006-09-11 06:06:27 · answer #8 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing you can do is get you some hidden videos cameras . I f you have the money to hire a nanny you got the money to buy some camers. I would think the new nanny is not what you think she is. get smart fast .it's your job in life to protect that little girl.
2006-09-11 06:08:23 · answer #9 · answered by vinel10 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a nanny cam and monitor. Or you can talk about the issue with the nanny, ask her if she's noticed anything unusual and watch her reaction.
2006-09-11 06:04:25 · answer #10 · answered by Kayt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋