This sounds like an awful situation.
You didn't go into detail about why you think he is suicidal. Has he made threats/gestures, anything like that?
It is definitely possible for him to "act normal" in public while being truly depressed. It manifests itself differently in different people. It doesn't mean he is "faking" it when he's with you, but on the other hand it could be that you are unconsciously "feeding" it in some way, or giving him support or allowing him to act out in some way.
Are you in counseling yourself? I don't mean go with him to his sessions or even going to the same counselor, but you should find a counselor of your own to talk about how to best deal with him. It could be he needs a medication adjustment, but that's up to his doctor. I'm more worried about you at this point.
If he ever makes a suicide threat or gesture, call 911. If he is serious, he will get more intense help. If he was "faking it," it will show him the seriousness and wrong-ness of making shallow or insincere threats.
Just some thoughts. Feel free to email. Hang in there.
2006-09-11 05:55:03
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answer #1
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answered by LisaT 5
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Does he do things he likes?
If he's depressed one moment but off fishing or bowling the next, you have a problem.
If that's the case, he's just depressed about work. This happens to many men since work is tied to their self esteem just as a woman's looks are tied to hers. In that case you have to motivate him to get off his *ss and find some kind of work he can deal with. It will be much healthier for him.
On the other hand, even suicidal people can often put up a good front in front of strangers. If he's always been self depricating and tends to beat up on himself, he's definitely at risk.
My advice: In either case, he's got to move on. Close up the business and get a job, any job. Volunteer in the homeless shelter, fix stuff at church or his kids school or some other low paying job. It's great therapy.
Hapiness is really simple. It's being grateful for what you have. He's blessed with kids and a wife who's actually doing pretty well at hanging in their with him. When he realizes that, he'll be a changed man.
2006-09-11 05:53:30
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answer #2
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answered by Salami and Orange Juice 5
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OK,if he says hes depressed then he probably is i can answer this speaking from experience.I am currently taking zoloft for depression and social anxiety. last year i severely dep,i was hopeless sad and didn't what to live anymore i couldn't sleep eat,nothing mattered to me anymore it felt as though there was a cloud hanging over me and,people dont understand they say snap out of it.when there no snaping out of it,its a serious condition.there are different stages but clinical depression can be disguised,my family and those around me couldn't see it but it was there i acted like every thing was OK whenever i was around other people because i didn't want them to know,no one wants to known as crazy which is what people assume its as if in this society you cant have anything wrong with you you cant be dep,or need medicine for it,but suicide hides,and why do you think so many people attempt suicide and succeed because no one knew!want my advice talk him into getting help!better yet there suicide hot-lines for family and friends and even the person feeling suicidal to call,no one has to suffer in silence anymore there hope and there is a lite at the end of the tunnel but hes the only one that can find,with a little support of course.PS.a very concerned friend,dont wait i feel great now.
2006-09-11 06:11:25
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answer #3
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answered by my space 3
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ONLY SUGGESTION I HAVE IS TO IMMEDIATELY GET THIS PERSON HELP. I HAD A RELATIVE WHO WAS GAY AND HURTING. FOR YEARS WHEN IN OUR PRESENTS HE WAS THE SAME OLD PERSON. HE KILLED HIMSELF A YEAR LATER. OH BELIEVE ME JUST BY YOU THINKING THIS PERSON IS SUICIDAL IS HIS WAY OF TELLING YOU SOMETHING IS WRONG. IF YOU'VE KNOWN THIS PERSON FOR A WHILE AND YOU HAVE PICKED UP ON THAT GET HELP. GOD MADE AN UN PERFECT WORLD, BUT US HUMANS HAVE A HARD TIME UNDERSTANDING THAT. AND WHEN WE'RE IN TROUBLE WE ARE TOO ASHAMED TO ASK FOR HELP. ALSO I HAVE MY OWN DAYCARE BUSINESS. TRUST ME HE IS NOT FAKING. THIS YEAR IS NOT A GREAT YEAR FOR ME. AND SOMETIMES I DO GET LOST IN IT ALL. HE MAY BE SCARED. IF HE THINKS HE WAS THE REASON IT DID NOT DO WELL, HE MAY BE AFRAID TO TOUCH IT AGAIN. HOW ABOUT COUNCELING TOGETHER. BECAUSE NOW IT SEEMS YOU ARE BEING WAYED DOWN. REMEMBER ONE OF THE REASON WE WORKED AND LIVE EVERY DAY IS TO BE THERE AND PROVIDE FOR OUR CHILDREN. IF MOMMY AND DADDY ARE BOTH SICK WHO WILL CARE FOR THEM. AND ALSO REMEMBER WE NEED TO LIVE FOR OUR SELVES AS WELL. IF WE ARE NOT HAPPY HOW CAN WE MAKE THE PEOPLE IN WHICH WE LOVE HAPPY. PLEASE STICK WITH HIM AND TALK TALK TALK. TAKE CARE AND GOOD LUCK. AND IF YOU ARE IN EVER NEED OF A FRIEND JUST TO TALK, BECAUSE I HAVE A HUSBAND AND I'VE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE THE IS HE JUST LAZY QUESTION. EMAIL ME AT SHAMEKA.WARD0354@SBCGLOBAL.NET
2006-09-11 06:02:08
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answer #4
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answered by KITTEEKAT 2
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Hey, there, I hear you. There are mental health issues in my family, too, and it can get so frustrating at times. Yes, people who are depressed can hide it very well. My sister is particularly good at it - you'd never know how badly she is suffering. She recently tried to commit suicide.
I've been depressed on and off for years and many times I've had friends say "I never would have known!"
So, yes. He's just doing a very good job of hiding.
2006-09-11 05:56:06
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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Yes, you hear all the time about individuals who seemed fine when they were around their friends and then commited suicide, if he is in councelling and on medication, not much more you can do. If the councellor feels he is in jeapordy, he might admit him to an inpatient program so that they can keep him on a suice watch.
However ... it appears to me that he is envirometnally depressed and not clinically depressed so medication would not be effective as a treetment, though the councelling would be.
2006-09-11 05:57:31
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answer #6
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answered by londonhawk 4
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He may have a drug problem that he's trying to hide.
He could have bi-polar disorder
He could be in a major depressive state (clinical depression)
First, you should try to get him back to the doctor and have a reassessment of all his signs and symptoms.
Along with psychotropic meds, he may need some cognitive therapy - or simply some talk therapy with you and a licensed psychologist.
2006-09-11 07:25:07
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answer #7
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answered by justme 4
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Yes it is possible - most people that end up committing suicide do it on a whim without thinking of who and what they are leaving behind because they just get to such a low point they think it will fix it. Just keep getting him to talk to you or a therapist and make sure he is indeed taking his antidepressants (another sign - they stop with the meds because they feel it has "cured" them then they crash n burn)
2006-09-11 05:56:36
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answer #8
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answered by PlainLana 3
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Yes it is... often times they will confide their true hopelessness to only one person and act normally around everyone else... They may be hoping that one person will be able to stop them from hurting themselves... Get him into therapy now... Tell his doctor what you have experienced...
2006-09-11 05:58:03
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answer #9
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answered by Andy FF1,2,CrTr,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 5
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you need to take care that he does not drag you down as well, sounds like the stress is begining to manifest itself physically. What is is major hang up? have you asked him what one thing that could change to make his life better? if he has no answer he may be...trying for sympathy?
2006-09-11 05:56:18
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answer #10
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answered by s j 3
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