recently I meet a man who said his mother did the say thing. but he wished she would of exposed his to more male figures. I've always felt its my decision and didnt want someone to influence my children to get to me.. what are your thoughts on the subject.
2006-09-11 05:45:00 · 12 answers · asked by DearAbby 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
recently I meet a man who said his mother did the say thing. but he wished she would of exposed him to more male figures. I've always felt its my decision and didnt want someone to influence my children to get to me.. what are your thoughts on the subject.
2006-09-11 06:06:45 · update #1
recently I meet a man who said his mother did the say thing. but he wished she would of exposed him to more male figures. I've always felt its my decision and didnt want someone to influence my children to get to me.. what are your thoughts on the subject.
2006-09-11 06:06:46 · update #2
I think you are quite right. I too am seeing someone but don't want to introduce him to my kids until I feel the timing is right. I don't want my kids getting attatched to a man who might not stick around. Wait until you're sure. You're not his mother, this is your kids, your life and your descision. Good luck.
2006-09-11 05:50:10 · answer #1 · answered by Chaley 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it's great to want male role models for your kids. However, you need to do some pre-screening before you decide whether they'll be the right influence on your children. I say it's good for them to meet someone if it's somebody important in your life, but they don't need to meet every guy you date.
I waited until I'd been dating the same man for a year before I introduced him to my daughter. I'm glad I waited.
But you can have male FRIENDS in your kids' life. As long as you know and trust them to treat you and the children well, that can only be good exposure! Just because you want male influence for them doesn't mean it has to be a romance for you.
2006-09-11 12:52:57 · answer #2 · answered by 40yomama 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Me being a single mother, I feel and act the same way. I didn't bring a man home in front of my son and he never woke up to see another man in my home. He had several, positive male figures in his life. Keep doing what you're doing. This world is so crazy now that you have to be a little overprotective of your children.
2006-09-11 12:53:41 · answer #3 · answered by Tee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you unless you think the guy youre dating is 'the one' that will complete you and your kids. They get exposed to male relatives, teachers, coaches. My own kids rarely saw their dad at home so Im afraid they'd get attached right away to a male figure who might be close to me and end up confused or hurt.
Best not to introduce 'him' until youre absolutely on the same page about your future together.
Believe me they do get attached quicker than you do...cuz they trust you and accept whomever youre with even if they dont know him.
2006-09-11 13:00:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well I'm a single mother also and i believe that you should keep doing. do not expose your children to this man. you don't want them to get attached to him if it doesn't work out. how would you explain this to them. it's not fair. wait until you are completely sure that this is the man you want to have a long term relationship with before doing this. just explain this to this guy and if he understands that's great, if not then i guess it wasn't meant to be. after all your children are more important than he is and their feelings matter first.
2006-09-11 13:00:22 · answer #5 · answered by msload77 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Good decision. I think it's good not to give the kids the impression that mommy has a lot of guys staying over. You have uncle this and uncle that. I think you're doing the right thing to keep your dates away from your kids until Mr. Right comes along. Good Luck and Good Parenting. !
2006-09-11 12:56:52 · answer #6 · answered by eyedontgetit 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No need to rush. When you feel they are worthy to bring around your kids then do it gradually. I was seeing a man for 2 years before he slept over...and you know what....he said he still felt uncomfortable and would rather not make it a habit. He also wanted to be sure...for the kids sake.
No need to rush ...timing is everything !
2006-09-11 12:54:29 · answer #7 · answered by chevywmn 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you...bringing too many men into your childrens life is a bad idea....
Wait until you have a good feel for how the relationship is heading..
More women should be as smart as you are when it comes to their kids well being.
2006-09-11 12:53:49 · answer #8 · answered by Chris 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you expect to go to his home or do you hotel it? What about his kids, or do you only date men without kids? Not enough info here for a fair opinion.
2006-09-11 12:49:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
IT'S YOUR DECISION....like you said, that was his experience yet you don't want some guy around your kids you don't trust but also if he's not gonna be around for awhile......
2006-09-11 12:52:03 · answer #10 · answered by cub6ib9 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋