My casual lover/bf had to move away the other day. We had been seeing each other for a year,& really cared about each other. But moving away was something that he had to do for his job, & I told him I was happy for him, because he wants to start saving up to buy property while he's living back at his parents. Anyway, it was always a mystery to him of how much money I really had, because of how I dressed (I love fashion) & how much my parents made. He grew up in a family that apparently isn't as well off as mine, but that didn't bother me, & I'm not sure if it bothered him or intimidated him. But I never really boasted, so I kept it a mystery. When we were saying our goodbyes he said I have 1 more question, again, he asked, "are your parents loaded or something?" Then he talked about his parents not having as much. Why would that matter so much to him? Especially at the last minute?
2006-09-11 05:02:55 · 19 answers · asked by feisty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He said because he never visited my parents, I felt bad but we weren't too too serious, we both wanted to take our time, so I didn't think it was a big deal. Anyway, is he trying to see how much money I'll inherit or is he trying to compare our families too see if we'd ever be compatible that way? What was his point?
2006-09-11 05:04:46 · update #1
Keep in mind though, I'm starting a good paying career, so I don't think it would be about supporting me financially.
2006-09-11 05:17:15 · update #2
He also wants to keep in touch.
2006-09-11 05:19:54 · update #3
maybe he wanted that better job because he thought he'd need to make more money to support you? Even if you didn't boast, he might have felt insecure because he didn't have money. Men like to be the bread winners, and maybe he was just making sure he was right about his worries. Hope this helped!
2006-09-11 05:05:17 · answer #1 · answered by j_conway83 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i went through the kinda the same situation with what your going through my bf for almost 2 years grew up with not much at all and mine did ... i wasn't into that much fashion but i was into NICE things and when he really found out about me and my family having money he thought he could try using my money to an advantage.. but if he REALLY loved me he would not try using the money as an issue but then when i told him that i wasn't going to do as he thought as far as giving him money all the time and buying him things like i used to do when he thought i was in love with a respectful man he was only after me for my money and that is something that i was not wanting in a relationship and i hope that u are really careful about that ...cause to me sounds like he is apparently trying to see what u get if something would EVER happen to your parents that way if he thought he might be making a BIG mistake about leaving when he did...
2006-09-11 05:18:11 · answer #2 · answered by bambi_27_1979 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's looking for a meal ticket, run like hell sister!!! Don't get played for a fool. Move on to the next man and keep your guard up. The last minute question he should have been asking if he really gave a damn about you should have been about making plans to further the relationship instead of being "casual lovers".
2006-09-11 05:07:53 · answer #3 · answered by micaelagatewood 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a question he'd always wanted to ask you but he didn't think it was appropriate to ask while you were dating. When you don't have a lot of money you are hyper aware of people who do, because you realize how much differently they live than you. Most people who have money don't see the differences as profoundly.
Anyway, he's making his goodbyes and trying to put things in context. I'd only be worried if he asked BEFORE he decided to break it off! lol.
2006-09-11 05:06:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure why that would matter except for the fact he may think he can't give you the same things your parents apartly had the money for. To give you what ever you want, any guy would be threatened by that. If it doesn't matter to you you need to tell him and let him know you understand not everyone grew up like you did....
2006-09-11 05:09:34 · answer #5 · answered by TIA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may just be curious. My fiance seems to think that my family has always been well-to-do. We were living paycheck to paycheck, no college fund, couldn't afford a car when ours broke down... times were tough for several years. Now my mother has a (used) Lexus. It was cheaper than a new Honda.
He really needs to do things for himself, I think... relationships come and go, but property would stay with him (I'd hope).
2006-09-11 05:11:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He felt threatened...Like he would never be good enough for you in their eyes because he didn't have enough money to provide you with the standard of living that you were used to. Thats sad!
I think he should not worry about it because its about hte relationship you have together, not how much either of you is "worth." Maybe your parents secretly contacted him or somethign and told him he wasn't good enough for you. I feel bad for both of you in this. It seems like it would be heartbreaking!
2006-09-11 05:08:52 · answer #7 · answered by sour_apple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i were to read into that, it would probably be the thought in his head: it'll be near impossible to give her everything she wants. especially if he sees that you highly value material/monetary things, which you must somewhat because whether or not you talk/boast about it, you wear expensive things. also, the fact that you are still benefiting from your parents? probably shows that you need someone to take care of you all the time and he might be scared you are too high maintenance or he won't be able to give you what you want.
2006-09-11 05:08:51 · answer #8 · answered by jami p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men generally want to make more or have more money than the woman it's an ego trip. They tend to feel less of a man when the woman has more than them or they try to use you for the money.
2006-09-11 05:08:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it was something you said to him, or the way your family lives. You might think you're hiding it, but it comes out in different ways. If he's your good friend, just ask him. He's not asking for a loan.
2006-09-11 05:06:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋