Do you have any kind of amusing stories?

Question

My dad was worried that my husband would be able to bring home military weapons. He called just to tell me not to let him (we had 3 very small boys preoccupied with being in the army).

I assured my dad that they wouldn't allow military weapons to be brought home.

The above was right after 9/11.


Then right before the war, hubby got deployed with a non deployable unit (hahah in itself) and dh's honorary uncle who served with dh's dad was also out of country. I sent an email saying wouldn't it be funny if you ended up together over there.

Sure enough I got an email that they were together.

Answer 1

it was during marine corps boot camp. be advised that this is a true story. the drill instructor was lecturing us on infantry tactic, we (the recruits) were all sitting on the floor listening. two recruits were whispering to each other having a conversation, the drill instructor heard them, so he threw a book at them and we were 40 recruits sitting on the floor and the hardback book hit one of the recruits who was whispering, bounced off his head, hit the other recruit who was whispering, on top of his head. it was like skipping a stone on a pond! and the strange thing about this, the book never touched anyone else! lol how the drill instructor done that??!!

Answer 2

Here's an interesting little tidbit from when I was taking part in a top secret, command and control development project in Germany during the cold War.
We had to watch daily security information films. They were kind of cheesy, sort of like high school driver’s Ed films. But we did take security very seriously and we were warned about the dangers of mingling with the local population at bars, nightclubs, etc.
At the time, I was a strapping, young Airman and when Friday night came around, I was at the local hotspot. I was having a beer when I notice a beautiful woman was looking at me from across the bar. I felt like a lightning bolt had hit me. I walked over to her and offered her a drink and we started talking. The small talk didn't last long and we went to her place. Her perfume was hypnotic and she was gorgeous with dark reddish, brown hair. Her skin felt like silk to me, it had been longer than normal since I had been with a woman and we wasted no time getting enthralled in passion.
After the 3rd time we started chit chatting again. She very smoothly started asking me questions about what I did in the Air Force. It did not send up a red flag at first but her questions starting getting more detailed. I was a little suspicious but it didn't stop me from engaging her again in a doggystle fashion. Just as I was about to explode, I noticed a tiny tag on her panties that were lying on the bed and they said "Vladikavkaz". This was the city where they were manufactured and I new immediately that she was a Russian Spy. I was angered and pumped away until I was done and then I gave her a swift Karate chop to the back of the neck and contacted the office of special investigation (OSI). It turns out that they had been looking for her for a while and were delighted to finally have her in custody. I later proudly recieved the Air Force Achievement medal for my actions in combatting the enemy.

Answer 3

The U.S. bayonets in the '60s could be thrown like throwing knives, but they would quickly break apart (blade would seperate from the handle) when making them stick into a tree for example.

My dad also brought back pictures of snow covered tanks from Germany and the snow was like 5 feet deep on the tanks so they looked like large snowballs. When shaving the water would freeze to the wiskers. Vomit would also quickly freeze as soon as it hit the ground.

Answer 4

this story is from my uncle who was a CAPTIAN during the time of INDIA PAKISTAN war...he said he was posted in kashmir which is very close to the pakistan border and these pakistani troops would come in the night and shoot the army camps in the indian side and run back to home by early morning..pakistan was supported by US during this era and INDIA was supported by the close ally The USSR..so one day my uncle dug pits at the border (between the pakistan border where my uncle got the information or tip off the they pass throught here) CAPTIAN UNCLE and his troops dig a pit on the way covered themselves with hardened sheets....and he said that he heard them come (the border was wide open scolding anti INDIAN slogans... like always..) so they monitered their VOICE movements (to hear where their position was) and CAPTIAN UNCLE and troops came out FIRED at them they did to our troops but they were outnumbered and captain uncle shot one solder he didnt die so captian uncle KICKED him from the boot to his neck he died..captian uncle took their guns and ammo..it is in display in the New Delhi Army museum...hope you like it

Answer 5

LOL - that's funny.

I posted a question on here awhile agi about vegetarian holiday cooking and someone, in one post, said something about "tofurkey farts" that struck me as utterly hilarious for some strange reason. Anyway, a couple of days later my dog was being extremely naughty and I was fed up and I yelled, "GET IN YOUR KENNEL YOU DAMNED TOFURKEY FART!!!" So for like a week after that my 3 year old daughter was walking around saying, "Furkey-farts! Furkey-farts! Furkey-farts!" And my husband was like, "What on earth are you teaching that kid?!" LMAO! I dunno why this has been so amusing but it is.

Answer 6

my mom hard boiled a dozen eggs last night. She then put them back in the egg crate and put them in the fridge. That ways she'd always have an egg without the wait.
this morning, my sister was cooking breakfast and wanted to make some eggs. She began cracking them open one by one, getting frustrated that all of them were "nasty and bad". She threw them all away.
So when my mom got up to get one of her eggs....
Man, it was funny.