after marriage? I have been with my bf for about 2 and a half years, he never hit me but he did touch me while quarrelling or while teasing me. He is one of those guys that wants things to be done the way he says or else I am grounded.
For example if I don't want to make sex because I'm afraid to have unprotected sex during ovulation, he won't make any sex for about a month or so rather than use a condom or else he will make sex after ovulation is over but he ejaculates inside and such other things.
Moreover he doesn't like to let me go out with friends, in fact I never did go out with any friends except with him.
I'm afraid he might physically abuse me in the future? Are these signs of such things or am I completely wrong?
I'm almost 20
2006-09-11 04:21:52 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Yes the warning signs are definately there.
2006-09-11 04:24:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well............. I was my husbands first girlfriend, so he was very protective of me . He didn't want me to go away with anyone or anything. He was just really afraid of loosing me. After we married he was still controlling . I just started doing whatever I wanted and he realized that I am my own person and that I am not going to leave him. He is fine now. We have been married for 3 years and together for a total of 4 years. We wrestled around ( before I became pregnant with our second child ) . The only thing that he ever did, was put his finger in my face. We have been through tons of rough patches, but we are getting along better now , then ever. My husbands step father used to beat his mother , so he said that he would never do this. Usually , the people that have been around someone that they saw being beaten, are the ones that are abusive. You never know what is going to happen. My husband was 18 and I was 19 when we married. Find out if he was ever around anyone that was abused . Like his mother . Things could get tons better , and you both could be happy like my husband and myself. Things could also get tons worse. If you two do get married and he starts physically abusing you, then you need to get out of there right away. He is being emotionally abusive now, because of controlling you. You really need to think about this. Good luck with your decision.
2006-09-11 11:42:06 · answer #2 · answered by sweenygirll 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having worked at an abused women's shelter, I can tell you that these are all signs that this man has the potential to be physically abusive. Abusers usually want to be in control, and he definitely sounds like he is very controlling; another way that men like him control you is to cut you off from family and friends because that makes you more dependent on them and less likely to hear opinions they do not want you to hear. As long as you let him "ground" you and tell you whom you can see and where you can go, you are giving him the control and putting yourself in a very dangerous position. You are right to be concerned and you need to get out of this relationship. The most important thing to remember is that this behavior will not get better, only worse. If you have to ask if these are bad signs, or if you feel that he may become physically abusive, you should trust your instincts and get out. Try finding resources in your area about domestic violence and abusive relationships; they can help you take the steps to leave him.Good luck!
2006-09-11 11:34:36 · answer #3 · answered by taylor619 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Danger! Danger! Danger Will Robinson!
The fact that you even have to ask tells me that you aren't ready for a serious relationship, but yes, these are all signs of an abuser. Remember that abuse does not have to be physical. You can suffer mental and emotional abuse as well, and this seems to be the path down which he is headed.
Get out while you can and find a nice guy. There are plenty of us out here.
2006-09-11 11:32:59 · answer #4 · answered by whtknt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yup thats the way my ex was! get out while you can. next thing you wont be able to talk on the phone without him standing right there or listening on the other end.. You deserve so much more than that!. i am with a wonderful guy now that lets me do what i want when i want and we never fight.
good luck!
2006-09-11 11:28:54 · answer #5 · answered by Tonya 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if he has a bad temper.It sounds like he is controlling and possessive.He could be abusive in the future. He will never change. It would be better if you broke up with him before it gets worse.
http://www.relationshiprepair.net/relationshipadvice8.html
2006-09-11 11:31:47 · answer #6 · answered by sweetlittlemama2006 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This man is already abusing you mentally, physically is usually the next step.. Be wise, hit the road, or send him packing..
2006-09-11 11:27:34 · answer #7 · answered by chuckufarley2a 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he's into having sex with you means he has no priniciples. Although I believe that a kind man should have authority, I don't like the sound of this one. Tell him to get lost and that you don't want to see him any more, or have your dad go and do it. I'd like to do it, myself.
2006-09-11 12:04:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree the signs are definitely looming, I wouldn't have unprotected sex with him any longer and I would leave as soon as you possibly can.
2006-09-11 11:51:43 · answer #9 · answered by o0xmmx0o 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you are already being emotionally abused, the physical abuse will almost surely follow in time. He wants to control you - he grounds you?!? - get out while you can, this will only get worse. Been there done that, thank god I got out - do it while you can.
2006-09-11 11:29:28 · answer #10 · answered by woodlands127 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ditch him. If he can't respect you, he doesn't need you. Sex is not an obligation. He's already emotionally abusing you, it's only a matter of time before it turns physical.
2006-09-11 11:31:33 · answer #11 · answered by sovereign_carrie 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋