My bio. father just passed away in a motorcycle accident. The problem is that I went 20 years with out knowing this man and have gotten to know him for the past 6 years. I moved to where he lived so I could see him more. But we did not see each other all the time. The family has been really good and has kept me in the loop with everything going on and worked for a day and a half to get a hold of me before anyone else told me. My problem is I don't know what is expected of me or what I can do to help. I may not of know him as well as the rest of family but this has devasated me all the same he was my father. I'm afraid that I am going to be useless at his services or at anything else they ask me to help with. What am I suppose to do?
2006-09-11 04:19:27 · 19 answers · asked by butterfly 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Mourn the man that was your father. At least you got to know him for the past 6 years. If he was a good man, then it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks.
Good luck and hope I helped a little.
2006-09-11 04:21:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You shouldn't be expected to do or act any way , He was your father and the only thing you should worry about is geting through the grief of your loss..Don't worry so as to how your suppose to act , if the rest of his family expects something different from you then they are to involved with theirselfs than on the death of this man..You just give yourself time to morn and don't worry about what everyone else thinks..God Bless you..
2006-09-11 11:26:10 · answer #2 · answered by Just Dreamin' 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for your loss. You'll do fine. No one expects you to do more that you can. He's still your father no matter how long you've known him. You have every right to grieve for him. If you have to say something. Say all the good qualities that you know of him. And maybe that you wish you had more time with him. This was obviously a very sudden tragedy and everyone including you has to get it to sink in. It may be hard to compose yourself, but you will do fine. My condolences...God bless.
2006-09-11 11:25:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bottom line: he is your father. What would he want? Don't stand in the sidelines and regret it ten years from now. Do what your heart tells you to do. Ask questiions and offer help. Add your own touch to the funeral with flowers or a small speech at the funeral or write a letter or poem and leave it at the gravesite. You do what YOU feel the need to do......go with your heart. Don't worry about what the others think. If you don't do anything, they might criticize you for it. Be yourself. And respect his memory.
2006-09-11 11:24:02 · answer #4 · answered by chattykatty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss.What is expected of you,other than to attend the funeral? Just go along with the rest of the family's arrangements,unless you want to say a few words at the service.We're all pretty useless at funerals,there's no rehearsal when it comes to losing a parent.
2006-09-11 11:27:01 · answer #5 · answered by Taylor29 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My condolences to you hun......so sorry about what you're going through.
Just ask the other members if there is anything you can do to help with the services and remember......at least you got to know him for 6 years. That's gotta be better than never knowing him at all. Hang onto the memories that you do have.
Best wishes.....my heart goes out to you!
2006-09-11 11:28:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry about the loss of your father. Nothing will be expected of you. It sounds as if the rest of the family just wants you there. Just go and be part of the family.
Take care.
2006-09-11 11:31:42 · answer #7 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do and behave as you would want your daughter to behave if you passed away. That usually leads you in the right direction. And cry. Tears are not evil, and shedding them for anyone is okay. Grieve. You lost something very dear to you. Lastly, remember. As long as you have fond memories of him, yur father will continue to bring joy to you. The pain passes, the joy remains.
2006-09-11 11:27:33 · answer #8 · answered by Homer H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may sound cold but...quit feelin' sorry for yourself. That won't fix any of this. If you want to be involved then get involved dumbass. If you let this slip past because ya "just don't know what to do" then you will kick yourself in the a55 for the rest of your life. Stand up on your hind legs an do somethin' about it!!!
2006-09-11 11:26:02 · answer #9 · answered by eastern_mountain_outdoors 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen to your heart on this one ... just being there is enough. we all need closure when we lose a loved one. that is the purpose of services ... you had some kind of relationship with him for the past 6 years, so he is a part of your life. just make contact and the family will tell you what you can do ...listen to your heart.
2006-09-11 11:32:09 · answer #10 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋