2 months ago I corresponded with and met someone on the personals. He just placed the ad because he was looking for friends. But, instead we talk and find that we have a GREAT deal in common and like each other alot. However, his divorce was final only 3 months ago and he's (understandably) not ready to commit to a relationship. I'm "seeing other people" but I am curious what the consensus of the group would be regarding how long to keep the "possibility open" especially if you have been through this before. The match is too good for "just dump him altogether" advice, we both agree on that much. If you have been through a nasty divorce, how long was it before you felt really open to finding someone else? Has anybody else been in my shoes before and seen it work? How? Thanks...
2006-09-11 03:41:12 · 4 answers · asked by Esmeralda 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you're "seeing other people," and he's just back in the dating pool, then neither of you is ready to jump into a commitment yet. Don't make dating this rush, rush, rush into something deeper. Commitments and relationships are much more involved than just dating, so you both need to go out for a while and see how things go. Then you can BOTH talk about going from there, but until you reach a point where you either break up or move to a more serious level... don't complicate a simple relationship. If neither one of you has met the others' friends or family, then you're just dating. Take it as such, and just have fun.
2006-09-11 03:48:57 · answer #1 · answered by BeenThere69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone heals at their own pace. How many people has he dated before you? I mean he just got divorced, but he may have been separated for some time. That makes a large difference. When my ex-husband and I separated (no cheating or abuse invloved), it took him only about 3 months to find the person he'd marry. Actually she was the first person he had dated after our separation (btw I'm the one that ended our marriage--we just married too young--and our marriage last 4.5 yrs). On the other hand it has taken me many years to discover who I am independently. It took me just about 3 yrs from our separation to find someone that I'm open to being in a long-term relationship with:-) (and it's great!!) Remember everyone goes at their own pace. And all situations are different. If you feel the chemistry and it's a shared feeling, stick with it! Let it go slowly and don't worry about it too much... Just enjoy your time together and take it day by day.. be happy and enjoy life!
2006-09-11 03:52:45 · answer #2 · answered by redheath 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister went through the exact same thing. It can work. you just have to be patient with the individual at first because with divorce comes a lot of baggage. there are a lot of issues he might be still sorting through and right now just needs a friend. you know somebody he can relate to and talk too with out having to worry about being committed to them right now. my sister is now getting married to her fiance of two years now...well they have been engaged for a year but have been a couple for two. You cant really but a time frame on when hes gonna snap back into reality( he he he) but if you are really into this guy then just wait a awhile and be there for him with no pressure attached. hell appreciate you for it.
2006-09-11 03:54:13 · answer #3 · answered by dasure2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It relies upon on numerous issues I reckon. in case you want a widely used date then convinced, you the guy will pay. in case you and the female are kinda friends truly of enthusiasts and your "date" is non-classic, I make certain both one of you will pay or you bypass dutch. i wager it would want to be proper to honestly ask your "meant" if she want a widely used date or something more desirable "cutting-edge". i'd not request she pay because you're broke. that could be embarrassing you both one of you. One answer is y'all make dinner at her position or yours and also you each convey some groceries. you want to understand i have surely been one 2-3 dates in my existence and that replaced into back 1973-1976. I probably experience diverse that the more youthful bunch.
2016-11-26 01:04:30 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋