Have you seen the ugly side of weddings? It is supposed to be a celebration right?

Question

Here is the question here. I have seen a great deal of chaos going on with weddings both helping with them and being at them not I am not a planner. I would pull my hair out. I have reflected on this before in my life and her I go again years later. Weddings can get so ugly with comercial things, people not being invited and other things. It is really hard to deal with. Stresses over little tiny things.

I am seeing that once again with yet another wedding all the hurt and all the stress that goes into a wedding.

***************My questions are these. Is it worth hurting people and stressing yourself for a wedding? and also What has happened at a weddding that you found uncomfortable (I am putting that nicely )?*************

Tina I feel your pain.

Answer 1

When my husband's brother got married, his fiance put my husband with his ex (that he was having an affair with at the time) as the best man and maid of honor, so they had to do a whole bunch of stuff together, and left me completely out of the wedding. They each had five people stand up with them! But every other person imaginable in his family was in the wedding, including people that they never see or hardly talk to. Not a very happy night for me.

Answer 2

It is certainly not worth hurting people. I haven't ever been uncomfortable AT a wedding, but I was uncomfortable with the idea of having my own, so we went to Vegas! Some people want adults only and no kids on their wedding day, we didn't even want the adults. We wanted each other. I didn't want to spend the day catering to and entertaining dozens of relatives we see infrequently anyway. I wanted to spend it rather privately. If I were to have had a wedding, it would have been an all-or-none
proposition, no cutting corners on cost, no trimming the invite list and inviting half of a family, etc. Weddings are quite, for lack of a better word, "corny" and commercialized unless I just haven't been to any really upscale, good ones yet. The fact that they have turned into corporate-type, adult-only occurences is rather odd to me too.

Edit: I should probably add that despite not being a tomboy, I never ever fantasized about my wedding as a child, so I am probably just representative of a small minority.

Answer 3

Yes I have seen the ugly side of weddings! Mine was a mess due to the stepmother thing. I was not able to pick what I wanted for my special day! She picked it all out. Even my dress but I made the finale decision on that part. Besides that I had to shorten my guest list because the reception was at a VFW hall. Not enough room for everyone!

Another ugly side of weddings is the money! Family not being invited to a wedding because they are not rich is a sad reason not to invite them! I feel it is a time for friends and family to gather for a joyous occasion weather or not they have money. There is so many things that can make a wedding ugly!! Way to long to tell about!!

Answer 4

I think part of the problem is that many women build up "My Wedding Day" into this humongous fairy tale that can't possibly be achieved in real life, and then they get upset and stressed out when cold hard reality sets in.

It also seems like folks put more effort into thinking about the Wedding Day than they do about thinking about the marriage, and IMHO that spells trouble from day one. If Bridezilla starts dictating everything about the wedding, riding roughshod over everyone around her, what does that say about her and her groom's ability to compromise on future problems, to work through things? =/

Answer 5

I have seen many fights at weddings, and there is always someone crying in the toilets having fallen out with their boyfriend etc. At my first wedding, my sister in law was really offended that I did not ask her to be my bridesmaid, and that I did not invite her family. I did not even know her family but she insisted. She then refused to sit with our family in their designated seats, and sat right at the back like she was an outcast. I don't think it is worth getting so stressed, it is one day, you can't let it ruin the rest of your life.

Answer 6

It is hard for people to know in advance that their dreams of a wonderful wedding will cause these problems. Now that you know you can make your wedding more stress-free. I think it is worth some hassle and stress to have a wedding ritual/ceremony. But not to the point that no one enjoys themselves. Keep it simple.

Answer 7

Emotions are running at a very high level getting a wedding prepared so take it with a grain of salt, and keep in mind it will all go off without a hitch when the big day arrives.

Answer 8

I've heard of weddings like that but have never seen one and I went to 5 this summer. I think it all depends on the people who are getting married and there family.

Answer 9

People use weddings to behave badly. I am not only referring to the bride. Family and friends will act badly too.

I had someone ask me to take her dress shopping. I took her and someone else bridal shopping. I tried on my first dress. I felt so pretty. She told me I looked terrible and how I dare even think about that dress if I cared about her. ???? what???? what does my dress have to do with her?

I had someone tell me my dimond was too small because it was only 1 c instead of 3. I had someone tell me my wedding would stuck because I had no dad to pay for it, so I could not afford an open bar.

I can tell you know that my wedding was the best I could afford and it was one of the best days of my life. It was perfect for us. It was the first day of the rest of my life with my true love.

Answer 10

unfortunately weddings bring out the worst in people. Some people are jealous, some are hateful, some wish you would take their ideas and everyone seems to want to take control. Let people know that suggestion are appreciated and you may consider it. At the end of the day...it is about the bride:)