I need some good strong advice from someone. My mom left me when I was 2 ive never seen her since and my dad maried some lady and she is mentaly disturbed she is right now pressing charges on me for taking shampoo to my apartment. Every time I try to stand on two feet my family is always the one to knock me flat on my feet. I'm nearly a 21 year old man and it feels like I dont have anything left from all the abuse I have taken over the years. I don't know what to do I used to have dreams of being a game designer but those are long gone. I can't keep any kind of relationship with anyone and it seems like everyone hates me. My step mom has told utter lies to my whole family about me and now they all hate me they won't even talk to me. Aside from all the i'm alone. I can't keep one thought in my head for very long it just drifts around until it's taken over by some abusive act from the past. There is nothing to pre occupy me in the place I live. Help!
2006-09-11 03:24:43 · 18 answers · asked by Robi A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Move away.. Get out.. Start over. There is more out there. I left my family when I was 16. Never once have I regretted it!!
2006-09-11 03:27:16 · answer #1 · answered by Serious Mandy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really need to distance yourself from your family. If that means moving then do so. You have to realize that you can't change people. Only you can change. Don't give up your dreams as a game designer - move to a new place and pick upi your dreams. Meet new people, make new friends. There are places you can go like community centers, YMCA all kinds of places. Also, what your step mom is doing - its about her - not about you. She's the looney tune NOT YOU!!!! Reaching out is your first step, now keep making those steps - baby steps if you think that would be the way to start, but start!!! Find an internet support group. Go to yahoo groups and take a look. They have some great groups for low self esteem issues too. You can do this. you have your whole life and future ahead of you!
One of my dearest friends started over when she was 60 years old. She walked out of an abusive marriage with only the clothes on her back and she did it! Five years later she has a great job that she loves, a nice apartment and wonderful friends. When she left her husband wouldn't even let her take her glasses. She just got up walked out the door, and kept walking down the road until someone gave her a ride to the next town.
If she can do it I know that you can!!!!!! Keep reaching out. you will find the way. you seem like a very nice intelligent guy - Good Luck to you!!
2006-09-11 10:37:12 · answer #2 · answered by Yvonne D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im so sorry you have such an unfortunate family. Your step mom sounds like an evil piece of work.
Im going to agree with what some of the others have said, and that is to get away from them, they are obviously harming your self confidence. You need to get away from them and do your own thing for a bit and build up your confidence again.
Like someone mentioned you should get a student loan and do a course in what you enjoy this will also take your mind off your worries. At the end of the day you sound like a really genuine person and no matter what your family say, you gotta hold on to that genuine quality.
I dont think getting into a relationship would be the best idea until you sort your own issues out but you should get some friends around you to help you.
All the best i hope you can get through this and always remember your better than your step mom, shes a deceitful, untrustworthy woman.
2006-09-11 10:42:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It won't be long until the rest of your family finds out how disturbed your step mother is. If the rest of your family believes her, then just leave them alone, they will soon figure it out. The best advice I can give is to work hard, stay away from an unsupportive family and try to make good decisions.
It seems as if you have not had much help at all in your life. Some of us have to go it alone for a while. I did and make some decisions that were not the best. I would have been in a much better financial position if I would have had guidance and help. As far as personal relationships, make sure you do not get into a relationship out of loneliness. Believe me you will pay for it the rest of your life.
Good luck to you and I hope I did not come off to preachy. I do not want you to make the same decisions I did. God bless you.
2006-09-11 11:23:59 · answer #4 · answered by Patti C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey Robi,
I'm sorry that you are having a bad time. Like you were saying you are a man now. You have your own life to live. Try to leave the past in the past but don't shut the door on it totally. You don't want to make the same mistakes again. You have resentments toward your dad, step mom, and other family members. This is hard to do but forgive them. This will show how big a man you are. Forgive them. Move on. Let it go. You can do what ever you want to do if you just let it be. You can not change them but you can change YOURSELF! Best wishes!
2006-09-11 10:38:29 · answer #5 · answered by GiGi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay first let me not be heartless, I am sorry that ur family is crazy (so is mine so I really feel ya there)
now STOP feeling sorry 4 urself n start changing the things u do not like in ur life. its ur life u do not need any1 in ur life that is harmful 2 u or ur sanity. No not everyone hates u, u r probably pushing them away without relizing it.
Get urself into counceling ask ur dr they will recommend one 2 u (no I do not think ur crazy but I know what families can do 2 people) we all need help sometimes. I currently take paxil (bless whoever invented it) I have been in counceling 4 a lot of years why because even if I have 2 pay 4 it, it helps me 2 center myself n set goals n helps me get rid of all the old baggage.
2006-09-11 10:30:22 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Geo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family sounds like a wreck. My boyfriends is worst that yours. They smoke marijuana together on christmas..
Look: You need to get out of the house.
You must have a friend and a job. Thats all you need to get a small crappy apartment. You need a girlfriend too.
Once you get the apartment take out a student loan and go to community college and get a computer or graphics 2 year degree. Work at like best buy or something, get married, go back to school and get a 4 year degree.
Have your own family, in your own home with your education and money.
2006-09-11 10:29:24 · answer #7 · answered by Poestalker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May the lord keep you safe and give you wisdom. Know this Jesus loves you, I'm sure others do to give them a chance. If you don't have a job , get one! You may even be interested in getting Carreer Training. If one Dream falls through don't worry about it maybe it was not for you.You probably have heard the expression "The door of opporatunity knocks. What do you want out of Life? think on this, get you a pen and paper make notes of things you like, things you are good at, write it down. Or you can put it on a recorder. Or store it in your computer.You may even want to keep a journal to put your thoughts in, maybe the cure for all your problems will surface. I hope you can find peace in your life.
GET TO KNOW YOUR SELF. I BET YOU WILL LIKE WHAT YOU FIND. Good luck on your journey through life.
2006-09-11 11:28:23 · answer #8 · answered by Jeannie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a family like that myself and haven't talked to any of them in years because of all the crap they dumped on me. Take a break from them and get your life in order. Maybe once you do that they will look at you in a different light. Your only 21 but you sound like you pretty well gave up on your future gaming prospects. Don't give up on that and don't blame your family for that decision because only you can stop yourself in this area. They have no control over you or your future unless you let them.
2006-09-11 10:32:02 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't take this wrong, but my first suggestion is to go to your local mental health department. The long term abuse has left you with little self esteem, and counseling will help you begin to realize that you are a gifted and worthy human being.
It may sound trite, but not everyone hates you and those who are hurtful to you, are not worth your concern. We can't pick our family, but we can choose who we spend our time with. I wish you well and hope you find the good in yourself and begin the road to healing.
2006-09-11 10:54:40 · answer #10 · answered by Renae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get as far away from them as you can and get help to cope. If you do this things will get better and you can have the type of people who support and love you in your life. Good luck....
P.S. That old bat will never win such a stupid case as stealing a bottle of shampoo, judge will probably reem her for wasting taxs payers money.
2006-09-11 10:50:10 · answer #11 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋