Question for Christians about forgiveness?

Question

There is someone in my family who is a real jerk. He has hurt me and many others in my family, and I mean he has hurt us deeply. If I even started to go into how he's treated us, it would fill up this page.
But anyway, I know I'm supposed to forgive him. And there was a time when I did get over it and had moved on. But now he's in a place where he needs help, and my mother is pressuring us to help him. The other day I actually be nice and help him, but it's just too hard. He still has the same attitude and thinks I should treat him like royalty. I get no phone call, no thank you, no nothing.
I can forgive someone for th past. But how do you handle someoen who makes you mad every time you see them?

let's just say he took our whole family's inheritance and blew it on him and his wife, and now it's all gone and he's about to file bankruptcy

Answer 1

Forgiveness is not the same as association...I have a brother I havent seen in 14 yrs cuz he makes life so miserable...my minister told me Im not required to see him if I dont want to...some ppl wont ever change. I have to think of my own mental stability...i have enough of my own stuff to deal with...

Answer 2

Yes, and just imagine you treated God the same way you did many things to hurt him, and hurt really deeply,all the times you sinned and you knew you were doing wrong,and guess what he is willing to forgive you...and actually help you and hes nice to you all the time. and talk about proud,you have alot of pride sometimes acting like you are more than what you are. you are dust from the ground,and whens the last time you said Thankyou to God,or dedicated a day to him or the last time you talked to God for a couple of hours. The bible says that he is upset at the wicked EVERYDAY,so of course you must forgive and forget and Love ppl as God Loves us.

Answer 3

Its really hard to forgive someone with the attitude you describe. That being said, this is an example of true Christian charity. If you can put the past in the past, and help this person knowing that they won't really recoginize that you have done so, and still do it with a sense of doing what is right, then help them, and expect no thanks. If you can't do that, let the situation alone. You have to be able to rise above your anger to really fulfill your Christian duty. Hope this helps, and don't forget to pray and ask for guidance.

Answer 4

Personally, I try to stay away from them.

We are called to forgive as we would be forgiven. The level is between you and God. I have someone like that in my life and it does try my patience to be kind, courteous and forgiving. But that's what God wants me to work on, my selfishness and uncaring attitude. If I can learn to be a servant in the face of adversity, I can develop a "humble spirit".

Pray and seek God's desire with this person, then follow His lead.


Rom 8:28 We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose.

Answer 5

Forgiving someone for something they did to you in the past is one thing, live & let live, etc.

Letting the person continue to take advantage of you, and hurting you is a completely different thing. Just because you forgive someone, doesn't mean you should keep that person in your life.

Answer 6

really hard but would ask you this did helping this person put you out of anything you desperately needed for your own survival ? remember there will always be times each of us needs help and there are those who will come to their aid. as long as helping another doesn't put another out then giving is a privilege. the attitude should be grateful on the part of the recipient however. the recipient should never forget and when the opportunity arises be willing to help others in like manner.

Answer 7

You can forgive without forgetting, forgiveness is for your peace of mind, hate only hurts the person doing the hating, it will eat you up. So Forgive, but don't forget. He needs a good dose of tough love, if he got into trouble let him get him self out. Don't enable his problems by helping him.

Answer 8

I always find it a good idea to journal. Journaling has really helped me with my pain of my past. I think you have to figure out and come to the conclusion that grudges only hurt you. I think it's more important to let it go then to forgive...once you learn to let go of the pain I think forgiveness will come in time. At least the pain inside you will fade away.

Answer 9

First, you are human. You cannot force yourself to love someone that you absolutely cannot love. Second, do not focus on this person. Avoid contact with him. If he is arrogant when you go around him, then you are feeding him what he wants---attention as though your were his personal servant. If everyone stays away from him, then maybe he will get the idea that his alienation is his own fault. Pray for him. Pray that the Holy Spirit will be able to break through his hardened heart and lead him to Christ. If you must be around him then share Christ with him---do not be intimidated he he rejects you; keep it up. No one can resist for long when the name of Jesus is presented to them over and over. Keep the faith. Eventually he will come around.

Answer 10

Kick his a--. and/or stay away. He'll never change. You don't OWE him anything, out of "Christian charity" or whatever nonsense you may have heard. What about the family simply letting him fight his own battes? Its called tough love. You're only "supposed" to be true to yourself. He will keep playing his game forever as long as the rest of you keep responding in the same old way.