My bf broke up with me with the typical lame reasons of "im not ready, id rather be alone right now" bla bla bla.. I didnt buy it and was sure he was seeing sum1 else. I listened to him carefully, watched him cry (while he was breaking up with me) and just walked away. A week later i did realize that he was indeed seeing sum1 else. The problem is, ever since he broke up with me, he's been calling me all the time claiming he's just saying hi. How does this make sense? Why does he keep calling, and why did he cry in the first place if he was the one who wanted it to end?
2006-09-11 02:49:54 · 23 answers · asked by broken 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
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Okay, here's the inside scoop from a guy. Am I selling out? NO! Just trying to close the gap in communication between guys and gals.
Since everyone is unique, and I don't know your ex, this information is in a general sense given the info you have provided.
He probably was seeing this other person behind your back and feeling guilty about it. He may have felt sorry for you and dreaded hurting your feelings because he thinks you're a nice girl but really likes this other girl. Ultimately, people do what they really want to do, and when confronted either won't admit to it or make excuses or make up lies to minimize the confrontation.
I don't know how long you guys were going out, but obviously long enough to develop some history together. He calls you because he thinks of you as a friend and misses you at least in that way and he's probably dealing with a new relationship that may not be going as well as he thought (imagine that? LOL).
He's probably feeling really bad that he broke up with you because he now appreciates you more and realizes (being with this new girl) that you were not so bad to be with.
Eventually, he will break up with this new girlfriend and will try to get back with you. Right now I think he's testing the waters with you to see if you would want him back before he breaks up with this new girlfriend.
The truth of the matter is that he does not know what he wants and he obviously lied to you about, "...not being ready" and "...rather be alone" because if this were truely the case, he would be alone -at least for awhile (like for months, if not years). When he told you he's not ready, he means that he's not ready to be with you, and probably won't ever be ready to be with you (as harsh as that may sound). He cried to make you feel sorry for him because, "he hated to do it but he felt like it was the best thing for the both of you" blah, blah, blah... (at least that's what he was wanting you to believe so you wouldn't be pissed off -at least in his mind).
I can only recommend to you, whether you are in love with him or not, that he is not capable of a lasting relationship with you, so if you're even thinking about taking him back one day in the near future, you might as well be prepared for him to break up with you again or even cheat on you behind your back. People don't change overnight. It almost always takes a long time even after they have made it up in their minds to change and show many works to go along with their said desire to change. You will then know, and it will be obvious to no only you, but the people that know you both. Other than that, he will not change.
Finally, if you don't mind him calling you because you don't mind just being his friend without your emotions getting overwhelmed at being just his friend, or you have resentment and bitterness towards him that will make it difficult for you to just be his friend, then I say, MOVE ON and make yourself non-exsistant to him. Don't talk to him, don't answer the phone when he calls, etc.
Even though it may seem difficult to do now, he needs to understand that you won't put up with that from him and you will not let him disrespect you the way he did.
Avoid relationships with people whom cannot be honest with you, and enjoy your life around people that have integrity within themselves to be honest and trustworthy with you as a friend (which would apply to any future boyfriends).
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2006-09-11 02:53:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
He may have been feeling guilty for seeing someone else behind your back. I'm sure he's probably sorry but he feels he doesn't deserve you and that's why he broke it off.
He's not worth it. If you can't trust him to be faithful then you'll never have a good relationship.
You could still be friends but just be careful and don't get too involved with him or you may get hurt.
2006-09-11 09:54:09 · answer #2 · answered by bad_dog76 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will not like this answer. WHen a guy does this it is for a reason.. He will let you down easy because he has another girl he wants to go out with... but wants the possibility to come back to you if he does not like the other girl, or after he gets sex etc. That is why he is still calling, he wants an "in" if he can get back to you when he is done with this girl.
2006-09-11 09:53:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
1. He didn't realize what he had until it was too late.
2. He's calling to make sure you answer and you aren't with someone else b/c he thinks that he still has you for when he's "ready" to come back. Stop answering.
3. He cried in the first place b/c he is ashamed at himself for screwing up and had too much guilt to continue with you.
2006-09-11 09:56:01 · answer #4 · answered by pistol_311 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your ex-BF is feeling a little guilty. (I said guilty, not remorse.)
He knows you didn't do anything wrong and wants to make sure that you aren't traumatized by his being a jerk. I disagree with most girl posts here... I don't think he's trying to get back with you, as he is clearly seeing someone else. He just lacks a backbone to move foward knowing that he might have hurt you. What a weenie... Forget about him.
2006-09-11 09:54:00 · answer #5 · answered by Sam I AM 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe he feel overwhelming GUILT about it. He probably thinks that he was wrong to break it off. Maybe he is a good man. He may have outside influences making his decisions, He may still want to go out with you but the "other" says he can't. NOW, get a new bf......
2006-09-11 10:04:16 · answer #6 · answered by bart4play 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just misses your company, but not necessarily wanting to love you at this time. He is still "exploring" the possibility of finding someone else who can be his partner for life. At any rate, don't expect him to come back. And even when he does, i think he's not worth your time anymore. Stay confident, and you'll meet someone much better than he is.
2006-09-11 09:59:50 · answer #7 · answered by diplomat_safe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to keep his relationship with you alive because of his guilt and in case he decides he doesn't want that girl any more. In short, he's using you. Tell him to stop calling and get on with your life. There's no future with this kind of guy. He will do again as soon as someone else comes along
2006-09-11 09:57:02 · answer #8 · answered by vmmhg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look young lady. It's just simple cheating and telling lies to you.
Since you found out he's dishonest, stop seeing him. Change
your phone number, ignore him completely and get on with
your life. Out there, you can find better, honest and caring
young single males for your choosing. Best of Luck!
2006-09-11 10:01:22 · answer #9 · answered by steplow33 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well for some reason he did break up with you. You should find out why. He obviously cared about you if he cried. The other girlfriend thing is just because he wants to find a way to get over you. Try to find out why he broke up with you and clear it all up. It might be a missunderstanding. find out its worth it
2006-09-11 09:54:34 · answer #10 · answered by unkown 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋