My daughter is 7yrs. old, very tall, very pretty, already developing breasts, she has a very curvy body already. She looks about 10yrs. old already. I am very afraid she is going to be having guys all around her. What do I do to keep her safe and from making mistakes she will regret later? (CRAZY LADY, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR AWNSER YOU WOULD JUST TELL ME TO LET HER ME WITH A 33YR OLD)
2006-09-11 02:43:17 · 27 answers · asked by ME 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
People I never said anything about sex, pull your heads out of the gutters!
2006-09-11 03:02:21 · update #1
Hey, just take a deep breath. The dangers seem real, and in some ways they are, but the ways you try to help your daughter have to be done in a way that she will respond positively to.
Since she's still a child (not an adult), so you can do things such as limiting where she goes and with who, set curfews, etc -- limitations must be reasonable for her age, since if she feels you are being overly restrictive, she WILL rebel and purposefully do things you don't want her to.
So don't set these limits just in regard to her appearance, set them as you would set them for a typical kid (boy or girl) her age.
The best thing you can do for her is something that you will have trouble measuring. You will not always be able to control your daughter and set her boundaries for her; your goal as parent is to raise her to want to set good boundaries for herself. You also want to build up her confidence and contentment so that she has no glaring "holes" in her emotional life that might tempt her to search for fulfillment through things that will be bad for her (such as becoming promiscuous, to find love).
The temptation to control by the parent is one of those things that can easily feelings of being unloved and unrespected by a kid -- resulting directly in their doing what the parent was trying to prevent.
Continue to show your daughter love. Respect her. Do things with her; teach her how to do practical things; listen to her problems without constantly judging or telling her what to do; empathize with her when she hurts; share with her your own experiences as a growing girl that are relevant to hers. Give yourself, in other words. Teach her what it means to relate well to a man -- to love someone else without losing your own identity or respect. Your example with your husband and other men will set her course for her, for good or bad.
While I am a guy, I can imagine that many girls are a little unsettled by their body changes. She might be confused, unsure of herself, feeling grotesque in some ways (due to all the curves and other changes starting to occur). I know some girls being to feel fat or unlovely due to these changes.
To get heavy on her over body changes that she herself is feeling unsure about will only complicate her insecurity and make her look for security where you don't want her to.
Again, you really need to be open here about your own adolescence and share yourself, your feelings from that time, etc., with her so that she does not feel alone.
Setting fair boundaries and giving yourself emotionally to her will help give her the strength and discipline she needs to respect herself as a growing woman.
2006-09-11 02:55:41 · answer #1 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Ah yes, I know how you feel. I have 3 teen girls. The good part is that boys don't get interested in girls for awhile yet, boobs or not. It does seem to happen to younger and younger boys though. Blame this mean old world we live in. That being said, she could get self conscipus about them if she's an early bloomer. Don't freak out or make a big deal out of it, be strong. You also have to come to the realization that someday some boy's gonna come sniffin around. It's the natural progression of life, like it or not. No one will ever be good enough for your little girl, trust me on this one. You can however set the ground rules early and stick to them. Now's the time to set limits as to when she can date, etc. so it's very clear when the time comes. Good luck, you're gonna need it!
2006-09-11 02:51:50 · answer #2 · answered by Mike 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First let me say that I really regret such a situation And really do hope that my humble suggestions will help.
Step one pay a whole heap of attention to your daughter. Let her feel like she is the world's number one girl. Get her to confide in and trust you. Make her your friend and become her friend also without the use of force. If she will be open to you, the battle is half won.
secondly, get her to have very good boy friends. You cannot keep he rand boys apart so get her to choose some responsible ones.
Educate her about her sexuality. Let her know how she came about and what possibility exists.
Finally, pray that all will go well with her and take her to the doctor to find out about her fast bodily growth. You may need to.
2006-09-11 02:50:48 · answer #3 · answered by sexonsight 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're first gonna have to talk with your daughter and let her know exactly what's happening with her body... you're gonna have to inform her of what's morally right and what's wrong... tell her what you expect from her as a young lady.... tell her that movies, videos, music and her friends are not going to influence her actions and choices, but you are.
Make up the rules and demands on her, as her parent, and there will be no debates or discussions on the subject until she's mature enough to make some reasonable objections.
And to these boys that will come around... simply tell them that you will put a cap in that @$$ if they lay one finger on your daughter!
2006-09-11 02:52:30 · answer #4 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't do anything about keeping boys away but you can educate your daughter while she's still young. Don't wait until she's old enough to be interested in boys. Teach her about all the tricks that guys use to get with girls. Arm her with knowledge and she'll use better judgement when the time comes. Good luck.
2006-09-11 02:48:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make sure she dresses conservatively, as befits a 7-year old - no halter-tops or mini-skirts or anything like that. Teach her to tell the boys "no" if they ask her suggestive questions. Have a setup so that she won't walk or ride home with anyone who doesn't know a secret password.
2006-09-11 02:47:50 · answer #6 · answered by Blue Jean 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to Ur daughter, let her know about sex. Have the counselor at school talk to her. Let her know about pregnancy. I am a father and I know what Ur fears are. Let her know that getting her education is so important. If the father is still in her life, he can be a great influence. If you have a church talk with Ur Youth Pastor.
2006-09-11 02:53:41 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
TEACH her about inappropriate behavior, teach her about her body and how to respect it, teach her how to make good choices AND make sure she knows she can always come to you to talk about anything and to tell you anything.
You can't keep the world away from her, but you can teach her about the good and bad things in it and help her make good decisions.
And since she is only 7, her activities should be supervised, by you, other parents, teachers, coaches, etc. And limit her access to the internet!!
2006-09-11 03:08:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even if your 7 year old daughter looks 10, 10 year olds don't date and aren't sexual beings. I have no idea why you are worrying about your toddler being hounded by men and boys. I have never seen a 7 year old with "curves" or a "body" that would invite sexual attention except from a pedophile. You scare me.
2006-09-11 02:46:48 · answer #9 · answered by surfinthedesert 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
well i think you should sit her down and let her know the danger of too many boys around her then she will have an understanding of the whole fact. just talk like a mother have a mother to daughter conversation
2006-09-11 02:47:14 · answer #10 · answered by dsquare 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋