how do you end a relationship with someone who has bipolar?

Question

i have been with her for 5 years, when i met her she did not tell me she was bipolar, and she was also manic when i met her, which is what attracted her to me, i happy love having a good time, now that i siad i loved her, she has been is the depressive mood, and her manic only comes once in a great while, i know its a disease, but how much could one person take?

ok wait a minute, im not immature, and believe i do more than anyone person ever would, i ve tried everything in the world to help her, however, its not that she is depressed, everything i do and try is not good enough , and i feel like im the one being used and abused, i cook i clean she sleeps 16 hours a day, had i known that is what she had b4 i got involved maybe i would have not gone into, and like i said i love her but i hate the way i am treated

also, i am raising my 2 nephews, my brother passed away 7 years ago, so i took on alot of responsibility, i am a very caring person believe me, however she was sick b4 hand and didnt tell me, i think i was the one taken advantage of, and i have been with her for 5 years ive done all i can do to help her, so please dont question my motives, im saying that she tells me if u leave ill kill myself, and i think i deserve a better life

Answer 1

When she open her legs for you it was good, but now she 's not good enough because she's Bipolar...take a hike Dude...your aweful

Answer 2

Just tell her the truth: you're an immature person who claims to love people but takes it back when the going gets tough. She deserves better than you.

How would you feel if you were in what you thought was a love relationship and your partner dumped you when you were ill? You don't have a clue what real love is.

It may be hard on her to have you be honest, but in the long run it's better than being with one who is so shallow that having a good time is more of a priority than seeing someone you claimed to love through a bad time. Love is about putting the other person's needs and problems above your own. It's about sacrifice sometimes as well as having the good times. It's knowing that while the other person might be needy now, you may one day be the one in need.

If you took five years to figure out you aren't up to the challenge of actually loving a person who happens to be bipolar, that's somewhat surprising. More surprising is that if you supposedly loved her you didn't fight to try to get her help and get healthy again instead of just bailing.

It might be better if you found a more emotionally mature and caring person to break this to her.

Answer 3

im not trying to be hard on you, but i want to share this with you, its easy to say you love someone, especially when they love u back, when things are goin good, but love is an action word and its much deeper than one thinks. Its patience, longsuffering,forbearing, etc.. You said you love her, now that your love is being tested, its shakey. If you truly love her you will find the strength to hang in there until a change comes, if not let her go, dont stay with her out of guilt, but talk to her about it and be free, but i do say this also, every relationship is gonna have somekind of flaws, so you might end up with another that has a worst problem, or maybe you should just look at you, im sure there are things in you also that bothers her. Who's perfect?

Answer 4

You are on a roller coaster you want to get off of, it sounds like. If you can't take the whole package deal that is her, better leave it alone.

You will have to do so quickly and thoroughly, and not look back. If you have access to her therapist or family you may want to prewarn them of this event, so they can be ready to intervene.

There are so many emotionally healthy people out here, you deserve one. But I would recommend taking some time alone for a few months to decompress, reflect and getting yourself to a place where you can participate in a normal relationship. You are probably way out of practice at that.

Answer 5

I offer 2 options that have beens successful for me. The first is far inferior to the second but much easier.

Drive her away: Do things you know she hates and make it clear these things are important to you and that you're going to be doing them forever. I got a girl to break up with me once by eating a whole pizza like a pig in front of her.

Confront the issue: Think veeery carefully about why you aren't happy, then start a dialog about this with your partner. You have valid, or semi-valid (quit chasing manic people) reasons for being unhappy. Address these with her and make it clear that they are issues YOU are feeling at that you hope she can help you get through them because you care about her. Make it clear what issues are deal breakers and make it clear that you want to see change. The key is to get to the root of what you can't live with and display that this behavior has to change or you can't stay in the relationship. She is aware of her behavior and if it continues she will expect a breakup coming and may actually initiate it herself.

An example of deal breakers to address and how to address them: "When I try to talk to you about what is wrong or why you don't want to go out and you won't engage me or talk to me frankly about what is wrong it really bothers me. I feel like we have no line of communication and I just don't know how to have a relationship when I cannot reach you."

Answer 6

if you want to end a relationship with some you just don't care for,do so with a little compassion, but if its because of bipolar disorder,you just might be losing a out on a really great relationship, bipolar disorder is very treatable with the right medication, do some research, then have a frank discussion, and express to her of your concerns and INFORMED advice.
good luck
William

Answer 7

I also am in love with a Bi-Polar woman. It's not easy.
Is she getting therapy?
Is she sticking to her medication routine?
You have to ask yourself if you are willing to stick it out through the bad times.
You need to get some therapy to help you to cope.
I scanned through a book at Barnes & Noble. The name was something like "How to Live with a Bi-Polar spouse".
If you want to stay with her you need to buy that book, it takes a very holistic approach to your situation.
Unfortunatly, my love has decided to leave me. Her reasons are rational and logically thought out. What makes it even worse is the fact that she is right.
So here I sit my heart is crushed, but I have to let her go.
I hope my answer helps you.
Good luck!

Answer 8

sure, yet you will desire to get your social life and self-theory jointly. you're saying which you're engaged on it, and that's superb! demonstrate your self to harder social events, attempt to push the brink extremely. To me it sort of seems such as you're judging your self a lot, and you're doing the equivalent to different persons. frequently it relatively is precious to think concerns over via myself, whether i think of you have gotten carried out passable of that for somewhat, so get extra social reports - do donning events, adventure, pass out - and look at to order judgement on persons - it takes an extremely long term to particularly *understand* every person. for people who undertake an constructive attitude in the direction of others (which as we communicate interprets into much less self-doubt), do what you could desire to (adventure, artwork, something) and have exciting in life, you could finally end up in a fashion of existence the placement you will no longer worry approximately any of this. for people who expected a silver bullet, i think it extremely is reasonably disappointing, yet i think of it relatively is the common thank you to pass.

Answer 9

Tell her that even though she is losing you, she is gaining a way to no longer be a victim of bipolar. See this site under mental issues.

http://phifoundation.org/heal.html

Answer 10

well kevin i myself have had to go through this. and the way did it was tell your mate you some time to figure out what YOU want to do with your life before permently bringing someone else in it. makes sense? and tell her you want to stay friends and see if it will make sense to you later. you have to figure you out before you can anyone or anything else out. keep your chin up kevin there is always a special lady out there who will be waiting for you. good my friend.

Jan
nikkismiles99