Coming from all the bad, past relationships i've had, I'm scared of opening myself up to men. I've met a guy and really like him, but shy away from telling him everything that's on my mind. I'm fine when chatting with him online, but when it comes to doing it in person i clam up. And he always makes comments about me being quiet and I don't want to ruin anything because of that. Any ideas on how to get over this phobia??
2006-09-11 02:35:18 · 4 answers · asked by witchywoman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have to forget about your past relationships. Very seldom does anyone's first relationship ever work. You can't worry about what happened in the past and just take a chance.
If you don't open up with this guy or any other, you may miss out on a great guy.
You can't go on thinking every man is the same because we are all different. I understand it may be tough, but you gotta look ahead and stop looking behind.
2006-09-11 02:38:28 · answer #1 · answered by bad_dog76 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be sorry if you try 'sharing feelings' with us guys, lol.
Sorry to sound chauvinistic, but I think we're wired to solve problems, not to support each other emotionally, like females are.
So, guys will tend to interpret your sharing as a request for advice.
If you'd rather share feelings with your guy, as modern psychology encourages, you might start out by being oblique:
ask him if he thinks men and women are different in their needs to talk about feelings. The resulting conversation may be your chance to mention that you wish you could talk to guys (in general) about feelings, without the guy always offering advice.
With luck, he'll respond by volunteering: "well, you can talk to ME, honey". At that point, make him promise to refrain from offering solutions - and you may have hit a home run.
sorry for the sports metaphor.
2006-09-11 05:13:46 · answer #2 · answered by Mark P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you're not comfortable with him yet. Give him more of your time and from there you'll see improvement. I'm a strong believer in time. And of course, since you already know you're quiet, try to overcome it yourself. Do your part cos no one can help if you don't even make any effort.
Try asking him questions..like things you want to know about him. Relax and just enjoy the conservation.
2006-09-11 02:54:42 · answer #3 · answered by Laetishaa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't share your feelings with him, he won't be able to get to know you very well. Sharing your feelings can help him understand what your needs are.
If he doesn't know what your needs are, he can't give you what you need... & you'll be doing without... losing instead of gaining.
2006-09-11 02:46:58 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋