Is it really the right time to have a baby? (See details)?

Question

Okay, I've been on birth control for almost a year, and recently I've really been thinking about having a baby. I spoke with my husband and he really doesn't like the idea, and I really, really take what he says in all seriousness, but it still just seems like the perfect time.
Sometimes I think he wants things to be 'perfect' first, which nothing is ever perfect. Anyhow, today he agrees that I can stop taking birth control, and I'm ecstatic. But he's not so happy, and that bothers me. More than anything, he's worrying.

Would it be best just to put off pregnancy until he's ready or should we go ahead and start trying. A part of me is thinking I should put off what I want until our whole 'family' is ready. But that kind of kills a part of me inside.

Thoughts, suggestions, ideas?

Answer 1

I think it's important for both husband and wife to be ready for a child; how can he feel a part of something he is not sure whether he wants right now?

If you really want a child, you should talk through his problems with him, and discuss them objectively. If his objections has merit, maybe you should work through them first. It shouldn't "kill" a part of you - he doesn't say he doesn't want kids. In face he sounds like he's trying to be as supportive as possible. Maybe it's time for you to do the same.

A child can bring much joy, but planning and readiness is important too.

Answer 2

You need to talk to your husband and find out if he's really ready to have a baby or if he's doing it to make you happy. Let him feel free to tell you the truth. Do not make him feel guilty for not wanting a baby right now. Let him tell you exactly why he doesn't think now is the right time.

Bringing a baby into this world when it's not really wanted by both parents is unfair and will put a huge strain on your marriage.

Did you discuss children before you got married - when to start your family, how many to have, etc.? If so, has one of you changed your opinions? If not, why not? These are very big decisions, and there is little room for compromise.

Answer 3

See if ur husband is mentally not prepared for it then better u wait. Because at time of inter course he wont be 100% involve which will lead to beater relationship between you. he must be having some strong reasons for denying child birth at this level try to be close to him and find out the reason why he is -ve on child birth. Once u understand the reason and if u over come on it then u both happily can go for a sweet baby. Wish u all the best in ur future life. God bless u!

Answer 4

If he was really ready for a child, he would have said yes the first time you ask him about it. maybe he's worrying about eh financial part of the situation. Like the commercial says."Having a baby changes everything". maybe he has seen it and doesn't want things to change yet. maybe he is really not mature enough to handle it. you need to really talk about this before you go ahead with getting pregnant. because a child needs 2 loving parents. i know from experience that if the father doesn't really want a baby in the first place, he can be cruel to the child.

Answer 5

You need to put off pregnancy until your husband is ready. If he does not want a child yet, you need to be an adult and respect his wishes rather than being selfish for self gratification. If both aren't ready, you're going to end up with a workaholic husband and you'll never get a break from the children.

Answer 6

Your whole family will never be ready. If we all waited until we felt that we were ready we would never have any children.
We just had our third child and I still worry and think we are not quite ready, that being said, I love my children, and my wife and am continually thrilled, honored and blessed to be thier father, I am sure that your husband will feel the same way. There is nothing like hearing the heartbeat for the first time, or holding that newborn, it will be fine.
Good luck

Answer 7

Hmmm...some men are never ready before pregnancy. The idea of taking care of something that fragile scares them to death. Talk to your hubby about what exactly his concerns are. He's gonna worry no matter what. The first time he sees an ultra sound or hears baby's heart beat when you do finally get pregnant, he'll be just fine. Best of luck.

Answer 8

you know your husband more than anyone else..

but if i am in your shoes, and he gave me the go signal to stop taking birth control pills.. well, i guess he is ready to have a baby but afraid of the responsibility..

try to communicate with him that it will not be a burden but an extra joy.. and having a baby is surely a gift..

if you feel that you are ready, go ahead.. you are the one who will bear the baby for nine months, and for sure by the time that your baby is due your husband will be more excited than anyone else..

Answer 9

I have been thru same situation.

Important to have understanding,He is worried about future.

Ok what we did we sat together and talked freely,
I asked what she(in my case) expects and by what tym we could expect to get there.

We also went on budget saved money and I opened insurance for securing my still to be child.

She got confidence that I am serious and would be a capable father and now what?

Point is realize why is he not ready and try to nulify(sorry apropriate word not found) that point

Answer 10

I would wait until he thinks it's good timing. I pestered my husband for a long time until he finally gave in, but I'm glad we waited because we were both happy, not just me. Give him a few months. He might not have even known until now that you even wanted a baby, so that's why he thinks it's so sudden. If he gets used to the idea, he'll give in. Whatever you do, don't pressure him, it will only backfire.