I have now split up with my girlfriend, and yes it hurts like hell.
The night we split I told her that I didn't want to see her that night. When asked why, I said that I didn't want this to be the last opportunity to cuddle her. We cuddled and talked for about an hour and she asked if we could stay friends, but I said that I could not do this as seeing her with someone else would crucify me. She said that she is not going to look for anyone else as she has to sort herself out. She said that by not staying friends there is no possibility that we could, when she has sorted herself out, try again.
My question is, and I will ignore sarcastic answers from other men, should I be friends and hope that one day we may try again?
Before answering this, she is not a person who would use someone just in case nothing better came along. She has also never remained friends with anyone else who she has had a relationship with.
2006-09-11 01:08:45 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What your ex is suggesting is a PLATONIC FRIENDSHIP.
In fact this is a good example of 'dissing'.
Maybe she knows she is able to inflict real emotional damage with the words, "I just want to be friends," the result of which is a calculated complete annihilation, leaving you a broken, whimpering being.
However she may just want some space for a while to sort herself out.
If you have the guts to do it, just ignore her altogether and you may find she comes running back to you.
If she doesn't at least you will have the satisfaction of not having grovelled for her love.
There are many who don't appreciate what they have until they lose it and she must be given the time to discover this.
Be strong mate!
2006-09-11 01:43:02 · answer #1 · answered by CurlyQ 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I'm still friends with girlfriends I've had serious relationships with from up to nine years ago. Sometimes it IS very tough but the rewards of a good friendship are incalculable. In fact I've just arranged to meet up with an ex for drinks next Sunday to catch up, she even left me for the guy she's now engaged to! We really are great friends and know each other very well and get on great. Just be very carefull to remember not to enter the friendship on the assumption that you WILL get back together some months or years in the future. In fact, asume you won't and then if it turns out that you do it'll be a pleasant surprise whereas if you assume you will and don't it'll be a crushing blow! Be very carefull here as the very strong emotions involved can overwhelm you and mess up your judgement. Do what's right for you.
2006-09-11 08:24:14 · answer #2 · answered by T M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my experience staying friends never really works. There'll always be that connection there, which is difficult to overcome. It'll be hard/odd for either of you to see each other with other partners. Why put yourself through that? Personally, I'd break all contact, but if you see each other on the street - you can still stop and chat. Should you meet up again, and both be single, you can try again. But don't wait for that day, move on. Good luck.
2006-09-11 08:11:30 · answer #3 · answered by K38 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although she says she's not looking for someone else, eventually that person might come along. Hopefully that will be down the track a bit.
Staying friends is hard. I don't know whether you've had a sexual relationship with her because if you have, it will make it harder. Try not to fall into the sex relationship with her, especially if you feel lonely at night.
Good luck.
2006-09-11 08:11:07 · answer #4 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be friends, just don't be real real close friends, especially if you don't want to see her with someone else, because she probably will find someone else, if only for fun. and by the way screw what everyone else says. i've been friends with my ex-fiancee for the 3 years that we've been apart. she's moved on, i've moved on. it doesn't have to turn into the two of you hating each other. but keep some distance until you can stop thinking about her so much. but that means no trying again. trying again rarely if ever works for long. don't do that to yourself man.
2006-09-11 08:13:04 · answer #5 · answered by That Guy Drew 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Problem lies in how will you react. If you are unhappy then spending sometime away from her might help you. Unfortunately if this was the top love of your life you will never forget those moments so youll have to try to grin and bear it. Maybe you will get back together but in the mean time forget that and try to see other people and love somebody else
2006-09-11 08:17:45 · answer #6 · answered by alismudge 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't see anything wrong with staying friends ,even if it leads to having sex together ,look at it as a friend helping another when in need. if u can control such situation ,u will be amazed how nice can this friendship will be. of course there will come a time when u cant do such favors to each other .but u will remain friends for a long time.
2006-09-11 08:22:36 · answer #7 · answered by bee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The real question is, is she good enough for you to wait for. Or is this a split for the best. Could you be able to try again with her? Perhaps she needs your help whilst she sorts her-self out?
2006-09-11 08:15:47 · answer #8 · answered by angelic_devil30 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im confused - if its hurting so much then why did you finish it??
as for staying friends - YES of course stay friends, I cant understand how unless under very bad circumstances for breaking up - cheating, abuse kinda thing, two people that shared a relationship can break up and never again speak to each other!
2006-09-11 08:55:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who broke up with who?But anyway I think that she really does like you and does truly want to get back with you someday since you say that she woldnt use you.Hold on sweetie and just hope for the best!
2006-09-11 08:16:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋