2006-09-11 00:26:28 · 49 answers · asked by hon 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
my freind broke up with her boyfriend nearly a year ago, but has still but having liasons with him and has since found out she's pregnant. His now decided he will marry her but as he was agaisnt back together before the news, my concern is that he's only doing it because of the baby! My friend loves him but I'm sure he doesn't love her, in fact she's considering keeping the baby just to keep him, so I've been trying to make her see things objectively as it doesn't affect today or tomorrow but the rest of her life!
2006-09-11 01:15:00 · update #1
No, you stay together because you love each other. Staying with one another because of an "obligation" does no one any good.
Obligatory love leads to very unhappy endings. It's unfortunate that a child is involved, but you ought to examine your situation and perhaps move on.
2006-09-11 00:33:16 · answer #1 · answered by The ~Muffin~ Man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never be with someone unless its what you really want! And you should never have a child to keep a relationship going! Its not fair on anyone invloved and is likely to cause more problems in the long term! If there are problems in a relationship a child will not fix that and the person most at risk will be the child! The people involved need to sit down together and talk seriously about the whole situation and see how it goes! But don't keep quiet about it hoping it will all work itself out! It won't! There needs to be teamwork from the start!
2006-09-11 02:55:52 · answer #2 · answered by johnapdavies 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most definitely not. That would be the madest thing a person could ever do and a waste of 3 lifes. The child ultimately would be the one to suffer and thats not fair. It would be better to be apart and share equal responsibility for the child than to have it living in a miserable environment. Even if there are no arguments a baby can sense that things are not right. Everyone will be a lot happier if you were apart.
2006-09-11 00:32:23 · answer #3 · answered by koolkatt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's nice to have an ideal family with mummy, daddy and kiddies etc. but if u were the kid i'm sure u would pick up on the fact that something was wrong with mummy and daddys relationship and it wasn't such a happy family afterall. Also why jeopardise your own happiness, u would resent having stayed with him when it wasn't really what u wanted. And as for the dad, it wouldn't b right to lead him on, and he could still be involved in the upbringing of your child just cos you're not a couple.
2006-09-11 00:44:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, that's the wrongest thing you can do. It's better for your to grow up with 2 parents separated in different houses than raise up with 2 enemies in the same living hell. What would come out from that baby? Nothing good and a person with many mental issues. Why you or your couple will affect your baby's life in such negative way? A baby isn't a bond to keep a person with us. If I was you I rather get separated for the best for me and my baby. Who ever will be a good father will be it from close or far distance.
2006-09-11 00:41:46 · answer #5 · answered by Javy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is best to leave now while the children are young that way the two of you can still be parents without having to bite your tongue around the baby. Children pick up on everything so tension is not a good way to start life. If you are separated you are more likely to be amicable towards each other, and hopefully friend rather than sparing partners
2006-09-11 00:36:11 · answer #6 · answered by derewyn c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is never the solution to situation. Me and my boyfriend found out that we was having a baby and everyone asked if we was going to get married i said no not because i don't love him but because when we use to talk about it it would always be in the future and for us to just because of the baby then it's most likely not going to work out and hurt the baby in the long run when we get divorced and end up hating it because we rushed it.
2006-09-11 06:00:45 · answer #7 · answered by britt3m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, if you don't love someone you shouldn't be with them especially just because you have a child together. First of all your child will pick up on the fact that you are in an unloving relationship. Secondly your child will grow to think that that is the norm for all relationships and will eventually try to subconsciously emulate that type of relationship when he or she is older. Not to mention all the different sorts of abuse that can happen in an unloving home that you would be subjecting your child to. I believe that it is best for all parties to move on, try to be civil and friendly towards each other and submit you child to a healthy relationship.
2006-09-11 00:32:40 · answer #8 · answered by bluekitty8098 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's tough. You have a responsibility to your baby. After all he/she didn't ask to be part of the equation. However, if you are terribly unhappy with this person, then it's going to reflect on your relationship with your child.
If people had to leave their partners when they stop being in love, then relationships wouldn't last more than a few months. I feel that if you are comfortable with your partner, have a reasonable relationship with little or no fighting, then yes, stay with him for the sake of your child. Many long relationships have been based on mutual trust and friendship rather than passionate love. However if you are terribly unhappy, then you'll haveto reconsider.
2006-09-11 00:32:54 · answer #9 · answered by jofrancisc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting question - of course my first thought and desire is no - don't stay together.
But many many years ago people were matched up with arranged marriages and they stayed together. Many of them learned to love one another because there was not any other choice.
But you did not state that you were married just together - so if you are not married no!
But just a question without any supporting information does not lend any empathy to the situation.
Over twenty years ago I did not stay married because I did not love some one any more.
Best of luck - tough choices
2006-09-11 00:36:51 · answer #10 · answered by freemansfox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋