Please dont judge me as ive come here to ask a question. Right i slept with a friend (ive never in my life had a one night stand and im 23 so this was a first) who has a girlfriend of 5 years. He came 3 hours to see me and we stayed in a really nice hotel (hes 33 by the way). He is up for seeing me again and will travel the distance. He claims he loves his girlfriend but then why has he cheated on her? I can understand if it was just a sex thing if i lived down the road from him but i dont. Hes travelling to see me so surely if it was just sex he might as well pick someone up near him - i just dont get it? I like him so much and im wrong for doing what im doing but i cant help it.
2006-09-10 23:00:46 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i swear to god im not being niave here but when i said why dont you just go and pick some girl up from a bar he said this isnt something he usually does
2006-09-10 23:06:42 · update #1
this man infuriates me at times, he makes me cry. The last time i was happy was when he is away on holiday that way i couldnt contact him. I hear you all shout "well just forget him". I cant, i cant stop emailing him, i cant stop instant messaging him and i cant stop texting or speaking to him on the phone. Hes an addiction - i just dont know what to do!
2006-09-10 23:16:23 · update #2
Well...he is cheating behind his girlfriend,how can u guaranteed he isn't cheating behind your back with other girl???If he really loves you..for sure he will breaking up with his girlfriend right.Maybe the sex between you guys was really great that he's willing to travel to see you.I'm not judging you.its just i don't think this guy really into love,i think he is more of taking advantages on you.You better lose this guy..He's really not worth it.
2006-09-10 23:11:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wake up!
He's just in it for a piece of a s s! And that piece is you!
He travels 3 hrs to see you because distance makes it easier. You are less likely to run into him on the street when he's with his gf. It is also less likely that you have mutual friends who might find out and tell his gf. One of the cardinal rules of an affair is the 50 mile rule! Don't date anyone closer than 50 miles from your home. The closer the other woman the higher percentage that she knows a friend of your gf/wife thus the higher the likelihood you will be caught.
Sorry for the truth, but it seems that he's in it for the shag and not the relationship!
Good luck!
2006-09-11 01:01:49 · answer #2 · answered by Redeft 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
basically he wants his cake and eat it. although a lot of men dont cheat they will admit it has crossed their minds and if they could all get away with it they probably would. I can understand how u feel for him but it may be the excitment of it all.
He probably does love his wife (men always say they dont when theyre having an affair, not exactly gonna keep u interested if he admits he cant live without her is it!!).
You need to put yourself in her shoes, how would u feel if u got together with him then when another random girl takes his fancy, its YOU he is leaving at home.
No disrespect to you or any others who read this, but in a lot of relationships after a few years the sex does get a little like a routine, too comfortable and the passion fades, so men will look elsewhere for it, where maybe someone like you is smitten and will do pretty much anything for them in the bedroom, probably things he has too much respect for his girlfriend (who he loves) to ask to do. sorry if thats harsh but i think its the reality.
2006-09-11 01:20:59 · answer #3 · answered by k4zzi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your concern is based more on the cheater than the cheated on; which should tell you something. You have already sacrificed your current relationship hoping for something else. The 5 year relationship is gone and you know that. The fact that you did what you did just means that you have no respect for the long term relationship you are in...whether or not you end up with number 2 doesn't matter anymore. You made your decision and should just be honest and quit causing more pain to your b/f. You are not in this relationship for the long haul.
2006-09-10 23:09:59 · answer #4 · answered by chrissy757 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say this guy is using you. Don't fool yourself that this guy is in love with you. The fact of the matter is you live far enough away for his girlfriend not to find out....he is after one thing...sex..and for a free shag men will travel any distance.
You are worth more than a quck shag with a loser like this..kick his cheating *** to the kerb and find yourself someone caring and kind that just wants you.
Then this loser can be the other poor girl's problem.
2006-09-10 23:19:07 · answer #5 · answered by Liz S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a load of bull. i understand that u re young, but honey u re not a teenager any more. he is travelling to f'''ck u so long distance and doesn't want to find someone near cos his gf might find out he is having an affair. and this affair with u is very convenient to him - he can't bump onto u in his neighborhood. i had once and affair like this - he was from italy i m from finland (if u don't know where those countries re - they re very far from each other). we flew to meet each other in some other country or to some italian city. was so nice and romantic. he had a gf i had a bf. we were meeting for sex and travelling. still keep in touch thou i got marreid and dont' want to cheat on my hubby. never even came onto my mind that this italian guy might be in love with me or whatever. if a guy is in love he leaves his current whoever he is with for the one he loves. my current hubby did it - he left his first wife
ps. just read what u wrote. u don't need to worry about anything. when u become too clingy he will dump u himself
2006-09-10 23:16:21 · answer #6 · answered by jacky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey - men would travel ANY distance to get a shag. As you say if he loved his girlfriend then why cheat? Obviously he doesnt love her and possible has a string of casual sex dates up and down the country. You need to get some respect for yourself and not make yourself available for this man. not only because you know its wrong, but because I feel he probably has several sex partners and you may be at risk of contracting a sexual disease.
2006-09-10 23:05:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
ok its easy to say dump him forget him,but u feel u cant right now,for some strange reason we humans want what we cant have or cling on to something that hurts us & we know is bad,its a subconcious thing,we seek out to be treated how we have been programmed since we were young...this is something only u can decide ,but I promise if u walk away get on with ur life n forget the sad little bastard u will feel enpowered & stronger.
2006-09-10 23:39:51 · answer #8 · answered by Chocoholic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you said its just a sex thing, and he fancy's you, men will travel the earth for sex, good sex, picking up a girl in the local pub is no guarantee of good sex, is it..
luck you, if your happy, have some more, if you want more out of him, think of your G/F,
Cheers
2006-09-10 23:18:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys only want 1 thing and that is to get into a girls panties. I know cause I am one. The only reason he is willing to travel so far to see you is cause he can trust you i.e you don't have any diseases(presumebly).
It's not love, it's lust and I really feel sorry for his girlfiend!
2006-09-10 23:08:13 · answer #10 · answered by Diablo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋