did i make a mistake?

Question

me and my X broke up 4 years ago,then i had i BF who is my current BF.
when we broke up i didn't know the reason,my X didn't tell me y he wanted to give up on me. and so i lived happy 4 years with my current.
a day before i called my X,and before that we never talked,when i called him the conversation was normal and somehow friendly. And i asked him y he left me. he explaind to me y was that. and honestly from time to time i used to wonder about it and wanted to know.
so i told my current and he was mad and ungry,and wanted to break up with me.
i love him so much and we were planing for our future.

what do u think i should do???

in fact it was just curiousity. And i wasn't intending to have anything else.
as i mentioned before,i'm very happy with my current BF. my X hurt me alote. but it's been 4 years that we broke up and so there's nothing left to look behind for. it was just the question that i always wanted to know its answer.

Answer 1

You need to reassure your boyfriend that you love him and it is he whom you want to spend your life with. It can be very hurtfull to a guy (or a girl too) when they find out their partner is contacting the ex, even after such a long time. I understand it was a question that needed to be answered but did it really need to be answered?(it was a long time ago and you had moved on) Forget about your ex move forward in you life and dont look back ever again any further than the start of your current relationship. Give your boyfriend time and plenty of love and reassurance that he is the only one you want and he will get over it.

Answer 2

For 1 thing... yes, you have made a mistake.
A girl should never talk about her X that much... or even give your present bf an idea that you are contacting him... cuz that will loose a huge trust especially after 4 yrs.
If this was few months after you two were together, than it wasn't a huge issue. This was becasue he knew you were happy with him for 4 yrs, and thought you gave a **** about your X. Than, he found out that you weren't over him. That shooked his ego.

Did you talk to him about why you've called him suddenly after 4 years?
I suggest you to write to him. Not in mail, maybe by letter. Tell him that you needed to clear out what happened 4 years ago because that really hurt your self confidence for years and years...and you finally had the guts to do so because you felt real love with the current, and feel alot happy with the life, that you felt you can comfront your X. Write to him that you only love him now, and say you would appreciate alot if he would understand.

And than, give him a space. Maybe around 3 to 5 days or a week...nothing. Complete silence.
He will than have a time to think. And respond to you. Definately!

Answer 3

You never had closure and you are still hanging on to that. You need to just be happy with your b/f and forget the past. If you were really happy before this reconnection with you ex, there is no reason for it; which is why your current b/f is upset about it. I would be pissed off too. You really need to weigh out whether or not your need for closure and the possibility of the relationship being rekindled against the relationship you have with your current. You are entering territories that could ruin everything for you and your current relationship, so it needs to be worth that loss.

Answer 4

i think you are lieing to yourself if you say that you called your ex out of CURIOUSITY.. you should not have called him, what is in the past is in the past. The fact that you called him and needed to know why he dumpped you four years ago shows that you still care what he thinks and you still have some feelings for him that are unresolved! either that or you just need more attention? Im not sure, you are the only one with the answer.. all you can do is appologize to your current boyfriend and admit that you made a bad choice by calling him.

Answer 5

I think you did make a mistake. My partner met up with her ex who done some horrible things to her, beat her.. and worse. And she invited him into her home so that she could talk to him about what he did to her. I'm still getting over it, it was a horrible thing to do. But I think you should have spoken to your current bf about this, and let him know that your still hurting and you want answers..

Answer 6

Why should it bother you, or even cross your mind if your happy with your current partner, id be upset too. He has every right to feel the way he does.When people look back at there ex's its because they beleive something is missing with there current partner, your partner is probably insecure because of your contact with your ex.

Answer 7

Maybe the mistake wasnt that you called your ex and wanted an aswer, but that you told about it to your current boyfriend...it doesnt sound comforting to say: hey i called my ex to chat, does it? how would you react if he told you the same?! but he shouldnt be sooo mad, coz u didnt do much wrong...you should calmly explain why you did it, that you love him, and that he has absolutely nothing to worry about... if he still doesnt calm, and still wants to break up with you - hmmm maybe he wanted that even before he knew about the phonecall?!

Answer 8

You didn't make a mistake your boyfriend should be more trusting with you. lf he truely Loves you he's not going to break it off with you just because of that.

Answer 9

u didjht make a jkistake, its a problem, confusion is crewted withi n the mind..

Answer 10

Please stop asking the same question repeatedly. Just pick one, and if you pick the abuser don't come back here telling us your problems because you know that's not fair to do to either yourself or us.