I have 2 other children, 3 and 4. My wife is th mother for all three of them. Now my two kids are well behaved. My step son is bad ALL the time never listens talks back and his room is always a mess. At the time im in afghanistan and my wife told me the other day she caught him, he was peeing on my living room floor. Keep in mind he was not sleeping , it was in the middle of the day. when she asked why, he replied the baby's did it 1st. she knew the babies were with her, she asked why he lied. he said "I dont know" asked why he did it . same thing "I dont know" hes also a pig he sneaks food in his room and hides the garbage in dresser under the bed... Im just trying to find out what to do with him... is he too young for military school. anybody have ideas.. hes real bad. my friends thought i was going over board but once they seen this kid they quickly seen how bad he is.. and his dad is out of the pic. no idea where he is.
2006-09-10 22:31:33 · 11 answers · asked by Dennis M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The problem is either physical/chemical--rare, and should be diagnosed by a very well recommended neuropsychologist, or neurologist--or is emotional in origin.Either way, it is your responsibility. He is a child.So you keep trying different angles till you have it nailed, without labelling the kid "bad" .Whilst it may be extremely frustrating, and tempers get frayed, sure, it is extremely damaging for any child to be "left for dead" emotionally like that. If he has any chance of reforming, he will need someone who cares for him to sincerely believe and affirm that that's possible. That does not mean no rules or consequences--quite the opposite--but it's really important he knows he's loved and valued, at core, or nothing will work. Just one thought--is it possible that he has felt, all along, like the odd one out, with you? His father abandoned him, and the other two kids are yours by blood. It's a common problem for step kids and parents, and is based on very subtle cues--you might think you treat him just the same, but if the feeling is different, he will know. And even if it isn't, he may just be insecure about it, because of his history with his blood father. These sorts of fears create constant tension, which creates agitation, which , if there is no forum to speak about it, then often leads to bad behaviour. In which case a good psychologist will be invaluable(to assist all concerned, and make suggestions for addressing the issue). But in a nutshell--really good strong boundaries and consequences--non-violent, and not involving "exile" to military school or anywhare else--coupled with lots of affection, time spent, and reassurance, would be my bet.Good luck:)
2006-09-10 22:45:46 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all dont call him a pig.secondly realize its hard to be a stepchild as many men cannot love another mans child..Im sorry about you being in afghanistan as im sure thats very stressful.So far as the food and Garbage welcome to the real world my son does that with pizza boxs and junkfood.The peeing on the floor.Maybe for attention.He also may had ADHD,post traumatic stress,childhood depression,Some brain chemistry imbalance.She really needs to take him to the doctor to find out.A person can post traumatic stress from a car accident,abuse,seeing a violent fight between other people.Seeing that you are in the military its a given that your home is full of stress.I mean all the child has to do is see the news to know hey people over there are in a whole lot of danger.With all the stress and war going on do you not think maybe its way to much on a childs brain?I do.best wishes try to love the child he obviously has some serious problems.
2006-09-11 05:48:54 · answer #2 · answered by butterflyspy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing I'm going to have you do is look at his past. The second is this is normal for a 9 year old. I have a 9 year old step son and he does the EXACT same thing "well except for the peeing on the carpet thing". Most of it was because his past dads have been very emotionally abusive to him. He sneaks stuff from us because in the past he would get yelled at for asking for things. He lies about stuff because he's afraid of getting in trouble. He talks back because he's just a regular 9 year old that is testing his mother and step fathers boundries. The best advice I can give you is get him into some therapy *which has greatly improved my son* and make rules and stick to them, this consistancy will help him gain structure. If you would like to add me as a friend I'll be glad to give you more help since we're kinda in the same situation. earthdragon1621
2006-09-11 05:58:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The hardest thing in the world is to love some other persons kid. If you can find a way to do that, God bless you, Your step son will become your son. Then all your problems will be little ones. Real love to him from you will do the trick. It will not be easy, but it will work.
2006-09-11 05:41:18 · answer #4 · answered by short stack 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no no military school is just fine but who's child is it the mothers ask her what she thinks whats her view make the decision together but the belt never hurt i would hit that kid so hard he would never do that the belt the stick the magazine anything will do just beat out the bad
2006-09-11 05:34:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This acting out and misbehaving is a sign that other things are going on with him. First of all, bad behavior is often a sign that they are looking for attention - even if it is negative attention. Second, I would look into getting him into counseling as I really think there are underlying causes for his behavior.
2006-09-11 05:38:59 · answer #6 · answered by Shadowtwinchaos 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tough question...this sounds like me at 10...exept i might have been doing worse( not peeing in the floor)...my parents let me get away with alot. and i learned the hard way in life alot....its not fun...but now i am a 17 year old adult...i got smarter....so i cant really help with your question other than dont give up on them...thats the worst you could do...they need love...and someone who care no matter what
2006-09-11 05:37:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get him help. Sounds like he has AD/HD, but I cannot make that diagnosis. Only a doctor can. SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP NOW B4 IT IS TOO LATE!!! Do it for your son and your sanity!
Don't beat your kid with a belt, or anything else. It will not help his problems.
2006-09-11 05:38:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This childs behavior goes deeper than just being "bad". Something is wrong with him that is going to need professional attention.
Good luck to your family...
2006-09-11 08:30:38 · answer #9 · answered by Edward J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds sensative.. get him counceling.. but dont send him to military school. that'll corrupt him.
be paitent, and teach him. also get help from a professional. military school just wouldnt be the best thing. maybe, a treatment center?
2006-09-11 05:38:49 · answer #10 · answered by girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋